I've got a levels at the moment, i'm taking 3 one of which is art (the others politics and english so i've got a lot of work) and an as level in french - i'm really behind. I've been working at a really horrible depressing place since october doing roughly 12 hours a week or more spread over three days. My boyfriends at uni and it's really really horrible not being with him, also i think he's changing but this is inevitable - i might be really paranoid. My friends at school don't really "get me" i think and they can be quite negative and swear a lot etc which i think might be rubbing off on me. My boyfriend is my best friend. I can't think of anything else that is wrong. I've just quit my job, because i hate it and the boss was so mean and now i can get on with school work, but i haven't got a nother job so i don't have as much money. Hopefully not having to go to work will start to make a difference so i have more time to do schoolwork, im not as tired and i'm less stressed out. However, i'm really unhappy at the moment and i don't know what to do about it. The main problem is i'm taking it out on my boyfriend (who i have been with for nearly a year and a half now) and i really can't stop, im turning paranoid and posessive as well and i get jealous really easily I worry all the time he's going to break up with me or get bored or find someone else. I want him to love the time he has with me, i know i'm doing wrong. We keep having horrible arguments and i'm always on his back, we have talked about it and he says it's ok, but even though i believe that we will never split, we've come pretty close recently. My mum calls him a saint, he has to put up with me, i wouldnt be able to do it. I never used to be like this. Last year i was as happy as anything. Please help me, i can't lose my boyfriend, i'm scared i'm pushing him away i love him so much and he means more to me than anything in this world. Please please tell me what you think i should do, im getting desperate, i think it's stress that's making me like this, but i can't keep using that as excuse. I want to be back to normal.
Im really sorry about the long post,
thank you so much for your help
xxxx