Dad's upsetting me :(

Right, so i'm a bit overweight, I'm a size 14 on top and 16 on bottom which is quite big but i don't think it's horrendously obese. Anyway my parents are CONSTANTLY nagging at me to eat less, get more excersise etc, except my dad really isnt very sensitive when it comes to it.

For example, he hates me being on the computer, he sees it as a lazy and slovenly thing to do and the other day he told me to get off the computer and i said I'd be five minutes and he said 'you're just so fat' which really quite upset me.
And today I was telling my parents about this really annoying woman on the train who was spreading herself around everywhere and had stretched her legs out right under the table so I had no legroom, and afterwards i added 'she was fat anyway' (just out of spitefulness, i was feeling a bit pissed off at the time) but then my dad said 'was she much bigger than you?'

I've told him his comments upset me but he just says 'well maybe you should lose some weight then'

It's just really getting me down :frown:

Reply 1

Mark S

17

I'm sure there's something about him that isnt perfect. Pick up on it and rip him apart because of it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

awww,maybe he is trying to enourage you to lose weight,although he is using the wrong way,you should tell him that this way would make you feel worse,and would just push you more into being stubborn and wont just stimulate you, instead tell him that you like to go for runs togather maybe as a family, or you need encouragment, and indeed it's your choice to loseweight or nbot maybe your not ready for sticking to a diet, or you have too much on your mind or maybe you like the way you look if you don't you know you need to take an action if you do then fine but try to mentain your weight

Reply 3

Lettuce

11

aww bless. If your comfortable with your size then this shouldn't bother you, just tell your parents your happy with the way you look and their comments dont affect (although they do) it may work abit of reverse physocology. However if you aren't happy with your weight (personally i dont think size 14 is fat, i'm that and I feel comfortable about myself) perhaps ask your parents for help rather than just insult you help you. I've had the comments about my weight although comfortable it still hurts, but i just carryon and say something to them that i know will hurt them in the same way. But only do that if your feeling mean.

Reply 4

Dhesi

2

I think hes trying to encourage you to loose weight but not in the right way. Sit down and have a talk with him.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

The thing is I am comfortable with my body, ideally I'd like to be a bit slimmer but I know that it probably won't happen, I am the way I am and that's that. My weight wouldn't bother me at all if it weren't for my dad constantly making hurtful comments about me, that's what really makes me feel bad about myself. He's generally quite a stubborn and immature man though and his social skills aren't that great.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

With an attitude like that from your dad you're never going to get the motivation you need to maybe be more healthy in general, if that's what you want.

I'm overweight and I know it, but the thing I hate the most is when my parents go on at me to get more exercise. It's so negative that I never feel confident enough.

Your dad probably thinks he's helping you. Perhaps you can tell him he's not and it's just making you feel worse.

And after all, it's not wrong to be happy with the way you are. To be honest I think the worst thing about being overweight is the nagging from my parents. My friends are all cool and don't judge me for it. Perhaps I'd prefer to be thinner but I'm okay with being like this.

Reply 7

dholmes_7

1

You've just got to talk to him and explain what it is that he's doing. Most likely he's saying these things and being arrogant to the fact that it's upsetting you. We had a similar problem with my sister, in that he didn't realise what he was saying was hurtful. Explain it why it hurts, and he may see a better way of expressing himself. Society is superficial, and it's not fair. Ignore the people who make fun of you, morally, you will be the better person :smile:

Reply 8

Dutchess of Doncaster

Tell him that you'd like to lose weight but you need support and confidence in order to be motivated and he is in fact diminishing any chance of that developing. He might be blissfully unaware of the fact he is really hurting you (dads are generally quite slow). Once he can see you are actively trying to lose weight I doubt he'd continue ... but if he does get slim and use your new found fitness to run far far away from his attitude. Either that or ply all his food with butter, sugar and cheese and buy him some scales for father's day.

Reply 9

Anonymous #4

My parents did that for a while, which when you're being bullied at school, are depressed an self-harming really isn't what you need to hear at home. Practically starved myself for a year (more due to depression and loss of appitite). That said they've never emntioned my weight since. Its easier said than done, but you just have to try and not take it to heart :frown:

Reply 10

Fruit-cake

9

Anonymous

The thing is I am comfortable with my body, ideally I'd like to be a bit slimmer but I know that it probably won't happen, I am the way I am and that's that. My weight wouldn't bother me at all if it weren't for my dad constantly making hurtful comments about me, that's what really makes me feel bad about myself. He's generally quite a stubborn and immature man though and his social skills aren't that great.

well in all fairness it is quite harsh calling other people fat, when you seem chunky yourself. Plus saying you are the way you are and thats that? not true. stop eating so much, do some excersise and you might find yourself loosing some needed poundage.

sometimes the truth hurts.

Reply 11

heminder

13

Anonymous

...then my dad said 'was she much bigger than you?'

well, did you answer it?
a simple answer would have been "yes"...

Reply 12

Ariel4

1

Thats really harsh. i def wouldnt class you as fat, i think a size 14 is average for uk women now. as long as you have a healthy diet, then it doesnt matter. if youre not comfortable going to the gym, or running where people can see you (i used to be like that), then walking is really good exercise. just a 30 min brisk walk a day is enough, and it doesnt even feel like youre really exercising. also if youre tall, then you probably look fine! the main thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. tell your dad this. im sure he's just trying to help you, but hes doing it all wrong! let him know how much it gets you down.

Reply 13

Segat1

16

start calling your dad small dick. just refer to him feeling so generally inadequate that he has to take his frsutration out on his daughter which is pretty sad when you think about it....

Reply 14

guitargirl03

13

mini_munchkin

well in all fairness it is quite harsh calling other people fat, when you seem chunky yourself. Plus saying you are the way you are and thats that? not true. stop eating so much, do some excersise and you might find yourself loosing some needed poundage.

sometimes the truth hurts.

That is really offensive and stereotypical. Do you just assume that 'fat' people do no exercise and eat too much? Because that is a load of crap.

I used to be overweight when I was a child, and it wasn't because I constantly ate crisps, chocolate, etc. I ate a healthy diet, but I still couldn't shift the weight until I was at high school.

Also, medication such as steroids and health problems, such as thyroid problems can make people put on weight.

In regards to the poster, if you feel comfortable, then to be honest that's all that matters!

Reply 15

high priestess fnord

9

Anonymous

Right, so i'm a bit overweight, I'm a size 14 on top and 16 on bottom which is quite big but i don't think it's horrendously obese. Anyway my parents are CONSTANTLY nagging at me to eat less, get more excersise etc, except my dad really isnt very sensitive when it comes to it.

For example, he hates me being on the computer, he sees it as a lazy and slovenly thing to do and the other day he told me to get off the computer and i said I'd be five minutes and he said 'you're just so fat' which really quite upset me.
And today I was telling my parents about this really annoying woman on the train who was spreading herself around everywhere and had stretched her legs out right under the table so I had no legroom, and afterwards i added 'she was fat anyway' (just out of spitefulness, i was feeling a bit pissed off at the time) but then my dad said 'was she much bigger than you?'

I've told him his comments upset me but he just says 'well maybe you should lose some weight then'

It's just really getting me down :frown:

my mum does the exact same thing. whenever i was on the computer, whenever she was serving lunch, whenever i went on the dance mat. anything to do with exersize or food. it used to get me down till she started to do the same thing to my baby sister who looks like a beanpole. after that i realised that its her who has the problem. if she doesnt like the way i look then tough.

saying that, i am going to go on a bit of a health kick soon and improve my fitness but getting fitter really does come b4 losing wieght imo.maybe u should take up a fun hobby like a sport. i like going on the dance mat but i havnt done it in a while. i can really tell the difference in my fitness too.

it does still get to me when i come home from uni and the 1st thing my mum says is "youve put on wieght" or even "youve lost wieght". i dont think its ever going to stop getting on my nerves, just like im sure its never going to stop getting on yours. just remember that u look fine and that parents allways like to push your buttons.

Reply 16

Sithius

16

Markus Angelsdaughter

I'm sure there's something about him that isnt perfect. Pick up on it and rip him apart because of it.

Cause that fixes a family right up doesn't it? (sarcasm)

You're dad seems like he needs a good kick up the back, talk to him and tell him how you feel. See how he reacts.

Reply 17

Mark S

17

Sithius

Cause that fixes a family right up doesn't it? (sarcasm)

You're dad seems like he needs a good kick up the back, talk to him and tell him how you feel. See how he reacts.

The parents are ones who are supposed to try and fix up the family, so if the Dad is being a tw** then get back at him.

Reply 18

Sithius

16

Markus Angelsdaughter

The parents are ones who are supposed to try and fix up the family, so if the Dad is being a tw** then get back at him.

No, she will have to act responsibly in this situation, seeing as the dad can't. If all else fails then just get him done for child abuse LOL.

Reply 19

Mark S

17

Sithius

No, she will have to act responsibly in this situation, seeing as the dad can't. If all else fails then just get him done for child abuse LOL.

lol, if a man is insulting his own daughter, rather than sensitively talking to her about the weight doesnt deserve his daughters responsible answers.

Dad's upsetting me :(

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