Boyfriend watches anal porn? Watch

This discussion is closed.
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Ok, I have a confession to make. I have NEVER looked at my BF's phone, or looked at his general internet browsing history, but I DO check out what porn he has been watching (we share a computer).

Nearly all the porn he watches is anal, which makes me feel quite insecure. I have tried anal sex in the past, with more than one boyfriend, occasionally by my choice. But TBH, it doesn't do anything for me - if anything, it feels unpleasant. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we tried it once about a year ago. It was my suggestion, my boyfriend has never suggested it, and I'm not keen to repeat it. I'm old enough and have tried it enough to know that it just isn't my thing.

At the time, my boyfriend and I talked about it, and he said that he didn't want to do it with me if I didn't get any sexual pleasure from it. On questioning, he admitted that he and his ex did it once every couple of weeks and she could orgasm from anal, with no extra touching - he said she really loved it and went crazy when he did it. He has never suggested it again with me, and insists that he is happy with our sex life the way it is, but him having told me that and the fact that he watches so much anal porn both make me feel very insecure and like he isn't getting what he wants from me. I'm not someone who minds guys watching porn in general - it is just that nearly everything he watches is anal which I don't get.

I suppose I'd like a guy's perspective. How do you think he feels about it? Is he telling the truth saying he isn't bothered? Should I be letting it make me feel insecure about his ex?
jazzykinks
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
Anal is different for different people. Some girls really don't get anything out of it, others do. I think you're reading too much into it. It may be his sexual fantasy, but if he says he's okay with not doing it, then he's okay. At the end of the day, you're a couple and I doubt he would want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Don't feel insecure about it. He may want to do it but knows that you don't want to so he'd rather watch anal porn than pressure you into it. Don't feel like you have to.
0
Clare~Bear
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
He probably would want to do anal with you more. BUT he sounds like a really nice guy for not pressuring you into doing it. At least he's only watching anal porn and isn't doing it with anyone else.
1
meloncoly
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
Just let him **** your arse now and again - it's not all about you.
14
Clare~Bear
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#5
Report 6 years ago
#5
(Original post by meloncoly)
Just let him **** your arse now and again - it's not all about you.
Go away you troll. Sex is something that both people are meant to enjoy together. If she doesn't like anal then thats selfish of the guy to want to do it with her if he's the only one that gets any pleasure from it.
6
ReeceL
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#6
Report 6 years ago
#6
It's more than likely something that he want's to do with you, but he knows that you don't like it. You don't say in your first post if you actually told him you don't like it or not?

Perhaps talk to him about and, explain to him why you don't like it and such.
0
m45
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#7
Report 6 years ago
#7
sounds like a really nice guy... he's never pestered you about it because he knows you get nothing from it so he watches anal porn to satisfy something that he enjoys. i wouldn't feel insecure.. i'd be glad i had such a nice partner :/
0
viln
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8
Report 6 years ago
#8
guy like to watch anything sexual and more important anything they r not getting at home. he seams to understand u dont want to do anal and he accepts that, so he wants to watch it on porn.... and if u r ok with him watching porn, u should be ok with that.
0
amyshamblesxx
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#9
Report 6 years ago
#9
Your boyfriend sounds nice he isn't pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do. I wouldn't worry about him watching anal porn, at least he isn't off actually having anal sex with other girls. It's just harmless fantasy.
0
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#10
(Original post by m45)
sounds like a really nice guy... he's never pestered you about it because he knows you get nothing from it so he watches anal porn to satisfy something that he enjoys. i wouldn't feel insecure.. i'd be glad i had such a nice partner :/
Thanks guys... you've all made me feel a lot better about it. I have explained that I don't like it, and he never mentions it - he IS a lovely boyfriend, and very kind and considerate. I'll try to feel a bit less insecure about it in future, and stop thinking he is longing for his ex!
shy-girl666
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#11
Report 6 years ago
#11
if you dont any anything outta it dont do it!

but dont be offended if he likes to watch anal porn.... it's not as if he's going off to seek it out for real!

as long as your both happy with the sex atm then dont feel any pressure to do something you dont particually find arousing x
0
tamimi
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#12
Report 6 years ago
#12
Different girls like different things.
Most guys who watch porn would opt to watch anal porn. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to have it any other day. So don't worry about it. Especially that you have spoken to him about it.

Although in all honesty he sounds like a knob chatting about what his ex was like during sex to you. But whatever.
1
brb_gone_gym
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 6 years ago
#13
(Original post by meloncoly)
Just let him **** your arse now and again - it's not all about you.
Strong comment to display pic correlation.
0
fredscarecrow
Badges: 4
Rep:
?
#14
Report 6 years ago
#14
I don't think you should correlate what people watch in porn as what they want to do in their actual sex life - alright maybe your boyfriend enjoys anal sex and would have been happy if you'd wanted to participate...but it's obviously not a deal breaker for him. It's not even his 'outlet' where he can get close to anal sex that you won't provide! Chances are it just turns him on to watch it, end of.
I watch double penetration porn every now and then. Do I want another bloke in my bed with me and my boyfriend? Not a chance. Do I feel like I'm left unsatisfied by one man? Not at all. It's just hot to watch. Same goes for lesbian porn.

It's always hard knowing you can't do something you know your partner enjoys, or at least not without doing something you don't enjoy. But your boyfriend is being really good about it and has simply accepted that your love and company is far more important than being able to put his penis in your ass.
1
Auzuki
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 6 years ago
#15
If he says he's happy with your sex life, trust him! A relationship is nothing without trust!
0
Sazzy890
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#16
Report 6 years ago
#16
Sometimes what people watch on porn and what people actually want to do themselves are two different things. Alternatively, even if he does enjoy the idea of having anal sex, it doesn't mean that he wouldn't be happy without it.
0
boba
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#17
Report 6 years ago
#17
(Original post by tamimi)
Different girls like different things.
Most guys who watch porn would opt to watch anal porn. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to have it any other day. So don't worry about it. Especially that you have spoken to him about it.

Although in all honesty he sounds like a knob chatting about what his ex was like during sex to you. But whatever.
OP I wouldn't worry about it I'm guessing the fact that you don't enjoy it means he isn't bothered about doing it with you anymore. Because for me at least the other persons enjoyment is a huge part of sex and if they were bored or disliking something it would be sucky and not worth doing. But if he says hes satisfied I would believe him sex is always different with different people and theres always small things that some do and some don't I'm sure you have experienced this and your happy still this is just a more obvious example. But if thats the type of porn he enjoys what sex you have probably isn't going to change that, theres a huge difference between watching and doing anyway I would see porn and sex life as two completly seperate things.


to the guy I quoted, is the bolded part actually true?
0
tamimi
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#18
Report 6 years ago
#18
(Original post by boba)
to the guy I quoted, is the bolded part actually true?
Yes. Anal porn is somewhat mainstream in the world of porn. A lot of people choose to view it. Definitely doesn't mean that all of these people choose anal sex in real life.
0
boba
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#19
Report 6 years ago
#19
(Original post by tamimi)
Yes. Anal porn is somewhat mainstream in the world of porn. A lot of people choose to view it. Definitely doesn't mean that all of these people choose anal sex in real life.
well I don't really watch porn but the sort of thing I would fantasise about is completely different to sex that I would actually want to I find the second part very easy to believe. Which I guess is why I've never really asked anyone about what porn they watch and was therefore surprised by the first part.
0
tamimi
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#20
Report 6 years ago
#20
(Original post by boba)
well I don't really watch porn but the sort of thing I would fantasise about is completely different to sex that I would actually want to I find the second part very easy to believe. Which I guess is why I've never really asked anyone about what porn they watch and was therefore surprised by the first part.
Curiosity is also a big factor. Not necessarily for arousal purposes, "Just wanna see what this is about".
0
X
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (155)
18.61%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (82)
9.84%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (141)
16.93%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (119)
14.29%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (79)
9.48%
How can I be the best version of myself? (257)
30.85%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed