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never had a relationship before
OK, I'm 23 and I've never had a relationship before.
I think it's because everyone thinks I'm a munter and I have a bad personality. But I don't know what a good personality is.
What can I do to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?
I think it's because everyone thinks I'm a munter and I have a bad personality. But I don't know what a good personality is.
What can I do to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Anonymous
OK, I'm 23 and I've never had a relationship before.
I think it's because everyone thinks I'm a munter and I have a bad personality. But I don't know what a good personality is.
What can I do to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?
I think it's because everyone thinks I'm a munter and I have a bad personality. But I don't know what a good personality is.
What can I do to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?
Are you male or female?
Reply 2
what are you like daily. i mean, what do you do from the time you get up to the time you go to bed?
Reply 3
Rachel
Are you male or female?
I'm male.
what are you like daily. i mean, what do you do from the time you get up to the time you go to bed?
I work most days.
Reply 4
Anonymous
I'm male.
I work most days.
I work most days.
What do you work as?
Reply 5
ye, a little more info might be helpful here
Reply 6
11
Just get out more, go to clubs that your interested in, there are plenty out there such as art classes,computers, sports...etc and get to know people and when you do, you'll find it easy to social and possibly find someone that you like.
You'll learn how to have a nice personality by meeting different people and treating them how you would want to be treated. Basically, just have fun!
Hope that helped abit
*~Sezkin~* xox
You'll learn how to have a nice personality by meeting different people and treating them how you would want to be treated. Basically, just have fun!
Hope that helped abit
*~Sezkin~* xoxReply 7
Well, is it you, or is it your situation? Or a combination of both factor? And if it's you, it could well be a part of your personality you haven't considered, such as how confident you are, and your associated body language.
You say you work: are there many women, there? What else do you do? Clubbing? Any clubs to which you belong? Do you socialise with many mates? Have you any female friends? You don't seem to have mentioned much, and, going by what I've found to be the most common 'profile' of someone your age without any relationship experience, I'd suspect that, perhaps, you are shy, and don't have too many friends, and hence you don't do too much, besides work; tell us a bit more.
In the absence of further information, as regards physical factors, I'd suggest that there are certain measure a guy can do to improve his image in the eyes of women: if you're overweight, lose weight; if you're skinny, eat a bit more and consider joining a gym; perhaps consider changing your hairstyle; adhere to certain fashions, as regards clothing; try to smile more. These may seem shallow, but such is life, alas.
Mentally, well, a lot of it boils down to confidence; women love confidence (and I'm not very confident, when it comes to approaching women, so it depresses me, this fact). Confidence can't be gotten out of nowhere, but there's a saying "you gotta fake it, to make it". Perhaps consider your body language: as I say, smile frequently, make eye contact with people, keep your head up. Generally, just try to be outgoing; make conversation, add bits to other people's conversations. I'm no Psychology student, and I've felt dubious about all this before, but, through experience, I'm beginning to think that seemingly small things such as these may make significant a difference.
I'm not quite in your situation (but I've known of many in worse a situation, if it helps to hear this), but I don't find it very easy to forge relationships with women (a contender for the understatement of the year, that), and was, myself, quite late having my first relationship; makes it all the lovelier when you do, though, trust me.
A lot of the above may not be applicable to you, so it'd be helpful if you could say a bit more about yourself in your situation. I'd imagine that, as many people would in your situation, you were being a bit hard on yourself, as regards your looks; it may seem like the obvious explanation, but there's usually more to it than that.
All the best.
You say you work: are there many women, there? What else do you do? Clubbing? Any clubs to which you belong? Do you socialise with many mates? Have you any female friends? You don't seem to have mentioned much, and, going by what I've found to be the most common 'profile' of someone your age without any relationship experience, I'd suspect that, perhaps, you are shy, and don't have too many friends, and hence you don't do too much, besides work; tell us a bit more.
In the absence of further information, as regards physical factors, I'd suggest that there are certain measure a guy can do to improve his image in the eyes of women: if you're overweight, lose weight; if you're skinny, eat a bit more and consider joining a gym; perhaps consider changing your hairstyle; adhere to certain fashions, as regards clothing; try to smile more. These may seem shallow, but such is life, alas.
Mentally, well, a lot of it boils down to confidence; women love confidence (and I'm not very confident, when it comes to approaching women, so it depresses me, this fact). Confidence can't be gotten out of nowhere, but there's a saying "you gotta fake it, to make it". Perhaps consider your body language: as I say, smile frequently, make eye contact with people, keep your head up. Generally, just try to be outgoing; make conversation, add bits to other people's conversations. I'm no Psychology student, and I've felt dubious about all this before, but, through experience, I'm beginning to think that seemingly small things such as these may make significant a difference.
I'm not quite in your situation (but I've known of many in worse a situation, if it helps to hear this), but I don't find it very easy to forge relationships with women (a contender for the understatement of the year, that), and was, myself, quite late having my first relationship; makes it all the lovelier when you do, though, trust me.
A lot of the above may not be applicable to you, so it'd be helpful if you could say a bit more about yourself in your situation. I'd imagine that, as many people would in your situation, you were being a bit hard on yourself, as regards your looks; it may seem like the obvious explanation, but there's usually more to it than that.
All the best.
Reply 8
i havnt had a relationship either, i'm male and 18. I am at uni at the mo and do hav quite a few female friends as well as a few back home but nothig has ever happened. I really fancy one of my good female friends at uni but not sure if she feels the same and dont wanna make a move, cock it up and jepodise our friendship. but i'm sure something will happen one day!
Reply 9
Yep same here. I'm a female, almost 18 and I've never been in a real relationship (a couple of small ones but nothing meaningful/significant). It is a bit depressing but hoping when I go to uni things will change... In my case I think it's down to shyness - I agree with dyslexic banana that you have to be confident but it is quite hard to fake. Just gotta practice!
Reply 10
What do you mean by bad personality, what aspects of your personality do you think are bad?
Surely if you know you have a bad personality then you would know what a good personality is cos you would know that you dont have it.
Surely if you know you have a bad personality then you would know what a good personality is cos you would know that you dont have it.
Reply 11
Rachel
What do you work as?
I work in an office as an admin. But I only work with one other bloke.
Reply 12
16
I'm 18 and I've never had any relationship, or anything even "not that meaningful" probably since I don't act much like a male, but am still attracted to women... It can be difficult, but if you socialise with many women, particularly several women you are attracted to, you will become more confident since you have less to lose by pinning all of your hopes on one woman in the intial stage of dating while you are sizing her up and deciding whether you hold true feelings for her. Self help books may help regarding confidence, but the only way to realise it (as most of them will probably say) is to socialise with others, and take increases in confidence one step at a time. Last week I talked to three people I had never met before, and I felt I was elated I was able to do it, since previously those would have been three conversations (and three friendships) I could have missed.
Reply 13
17
dobr worry dude ou'll ind someone eventually
Reply 14
Anonymous
I work in an office as an admin. But I only work with one other bloke.
Is that the only question you wish to answer? Maybe you and 'Rachel' should just discuss this via PM?
Reply 15
If you feel it is as serious as you make out, you may want to consider seeking the help of a professional. Carrying on as you are, being depressed and thinking negatively, will not help your situation with women. For sustainable and effective ways of improving your outlook and confidence, look towards a professional who can give you good advice and work through your problems.
As much as people here may want to help you, the only person who can make the change is you and if a psychiatrist can give you more effective strategies to do this yourself, then that's where you should look. It might take a bit of courage to take this step (seeing your doctor for a referral perhaps?), but think of the rewards you will gain if you can overcome these problems.
As much as people here may want to help you, the only person who can make the change is you and if a psychiatrist can give you more effective strategies to do this yourself, then that's where you should look. It might take a bit of courage to take this step (seeing your doctor for a referral perhaps?), but think of the rewards you will gain if you can overcome these problems.
Reply 16
dyslexic_banana
Is that the only question you wish to answer? Maybe you and 'Rachel' should just discuss this via PM?
Why?
And why is my name in speech marks? Reply 17
I put your name in speech marks, because it's your user name; not your real name, as I know it (of course, it probably is your real name, but I don't know you). I put everybody's user name in speech marks; seems more correct (pompous, I know....).
I didn't mean that post to come across in any way as offensive towards you, so don't read anything into it; although I'm not really bothered, this guy simply seems only to have made any effort to acknowledge your replies to the thread (apart from one other girl's), despite about five others having replied; two of whom (myself and someone else) having actually asked him questions (i.e. inviting replies). Hence, the sarcastic comment as regards PMs; that's what it might as well be, from the point of view of the rest of us, if he's only going to reply to you.
I couldn't really care less, but it seems ever-so-slightly lacking in gratitude, to totally ignore those who've tried to offer helpful advice (and kind of strange to reply consistently to someone, while ignoring others who offered quite a lot); perhaps ignorance is part of his problem (only joking, but, you know...).
I didn't mean that post to come across in any way as offensive towards you, so don't read anything into it; although I'm not really bothered, this guy simply seems only to have made any effort to acknowledge your replies to the thread (apart from one other girl's), despite about five others having replied; two of whom (myself and someone else) having actually asked him questions (i.e. inviting replies). Hence, the sarcastic comment as regards PMs; that's what it might as well be, from the point of view of the rest of us, if he's only going to reply to you.
I couldn't really care less, but it seems ever-so-slightly lacking in gratitude, to totally ignore those who've tried to offer helpful advice (and kind of strange to reply consistently to someone, while ignoring others who offered quite a lot); perhaps ignorance is part of his problem (only joking, but, you know...).
Reply 18
dyslexic_banana
I put your name in speech marks, because it's your user name; not your real name, as I know it (of course, it probably is your real name, but I don't know you). I put everybody's user name in speech marks; seems more correct (pompous, I know....).
I didn't mean that post to come across in any way as offensive towards you, so don't read anything into it; although I'm not really bothered, this guy simply seems only to have made any effort to acknowledge your replies to the thread (apart from one other girl's), despite about five others having replied; two of whom (myself and someone else) having actually asked him questions (i.e. inviting replies). Hence, the sarcastic comment as regards PMs; that's what it might as well be, from the point of view of the rest of us, if he's only going to reply to you.
I couldn't really care less, but it seems ever-so-slightly lacking in gratitude, to totally ignore those who've tried to offer helpful advice (and kind of strange to reply consistently to someone, while ignoring others who offered quite a lot); perhaps ignorance is part of his problem (only joking, but, you know...).
I didn't mean that post to come across in any way as offensive towards you, so don't read anything into it; although I'm not really bothered, this guy simply seems only to have made any effort to acknowledge your replies to the thread (apart from one other girl's), despite about five others having replied; two of whom (myself and someone else) having actually asked him questions (i.e. inviting replies). Hence, the sarcastic comment as regards PMs; that's what it might as well be, from the point of view of the rest of us, if he's only going to reply to you.
I couldn't really care less, but it seems ever-so-slightly lacking in gratitude, to totally ignore those who've tried to offer helpful advice (and kind of strange to reply consistently to someone, while ignoring others who offered quite a lot); perhaps ignorance is part of his problem (only joking, but, you know...).
I think he's probably a troll. And Rachel is my real name
Reply 19
OP: do you actually want a relationship, really? Or do you just feel like you have to, because youre already 23 and life is going by so quickly
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