This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

University and Girlfriends

hi guys im starting university in september, i live in manchester and im goin to leeds.

Obviously i will be moving away and obviously my girlfriend is going to start an argument with me about this, i just need some advice or some quotes on what to say to her for when this argument arises!
im not a nasty person so i cant really say things like "its my life!" "your selfish"

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Reply 1

XavierTroy

1

I am in a similar position to you. I have a girlfriend who I'm been with for the best part of 3 years and I'm going to uni in Oct same as you. This is a long relationship considering our age. We know the circumstances and we really can't argue. This isn't about saying 'this is my life!' this is about understanding of the bigger picture.

It is that you will have to believe this, 'If we are meant for for each other, this is nothing, it is three years (or so) of long distance relationship... when it is over we'll look back and it will be a triviality.' That is my logic. God knows I'll miss her so much and it'll be very hard at first, but you have to keep a level headed and realise that you have to take oppertunities and hope relationships work out for the best.

I'm sure there are many people in the same circumstance as you and I, some relationships will collapse and others will work through it, just depends on how much you mean to one another and how you work through it when it is tough for you.

Reply 2

amie

14

Why will she argue?

Surely she'll understand what an opportunity this is for you? Why would she want to hold you back?

If she does argue, then just explain to her, honestly, why you want to go. If she can't understand that, then its really her problem!

Reply 3

Masterplanner

OP

its just that recently we have been going through a bad time and when i told her she was quite reserved, i dont want to lose her because she means everything to me. im probably just worrying but we only live 10 houses away and i think its going to be a big shock to the system!

Reply 4

XavierTroy

1

Agreed... there should be complete understanding of the situation. If there isn't that then there possibly isn't a basis for the relationship to survive the stress of long distance anyway.

Reply 5

pedy1986

13

what? your not breaking up? Silly, silly.

Reply 6

Masterplanner

OP

no we are not breaking up!! this is about what i should say to her to reinforce our love!?

Reply 7

Leigh

15

Tell her this is a big opportunity for you, which will change the path of your life (for the better) and you cannot pass up on it.
Also say, if you're strong enough (or "meant to be", if she's into the whole fate thing) three years at Uni will not be a problem, and on the other side you'll be stronger.

Me and my girlfriend (will be 18 months into our relationship when I leave so not as long as some in here) have discussed it, and she knows how much it means to me, and that it's more important than us two being able to cuddle every day. If she doesn't understand, perhaps you need to question if your relationship is the correct one? I sure wouldn't let anyone stop me going to uni, sex or not!

Reply 8

pedy1986

13

Masterplanner

no we are not breaking up!! this is about what i should say to her to reinforce our love!?

Give it a term at uni....most relationships dont last university, so just be prepared.

Reply 9

Leigh

15

cor

Give it a term at uni....most relationships dont last university, so just be prepared.

The ones that do tend to be the long long term ones. It's the ultimate test!

Reply 10

amie

14

cor

what? your not breaking up? Silly, silly.

I don't think its silly at all, its certainly worth a try.

Reply 11

poser

cor

Give it a term at uni....most relationships dont last university, so just be prepared.

hes right

The ones that do tend to be the long long term ones. It's the ultimate test!

and from my own experience, your wrong.

I was with my gf for 3 years. when things become long distance you drift apart and realise how dumb and pointless it is. do yourself a favour and get rid of her now so your over her in time for uni, dont be so naive.

** infact ive heard of LOADS of cases of people breaking up when going off to uni becuase it doesnt work out, and i dont think ive ever heard a successful story of people staying together, so mate, sorry for your loss (in advance) **

Reply 12

amie

14

poser

and from my own experience, your wrong.

I was with my gf for 3 years. when things become long distance you drift apart and realise how dumb and pointless it is. do yourself a favour and get rid of her now so your over her in time for uni, dont be so naive.

And from my own experience, that's rubbish.

I've been with my boyfriend for four years, he's a second year and I'm a fresher (at different universities, in different cities). Rather than make us realise how "dumb and pointless" our relationship is, its just made us realise how much we do want to be together.

Point is, you don't know how your relationship is going to turn out when it goes long-distance until you try it. It could go either way. There's only one way to find out which...

On a completely unrelated note, poser, where in Wiltshire are you from?

Reply 13

Talon

18

You arent exactly going to be on the other side of the country. It is perfectly possible for you to go and see her every now and again.

I try and go home to see my gf every two weeks, but we are never apart for more than 4 weeks. It is doable. Some of the guys here are saying it wont work but there are also many members here that have LDRs and are making it work. Ours is working. If you two are made of the right stuff then yours will too.

Hopefully your girlfriend will understand. How do you know she will start and arguement over this? She knows you are going to uni...

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

no we are not breaking up!! this is about what i should say to her to reinforce our love!?

Hey i've been through numerous similar situations, and long distance relationships are tough, but not at all impossible.
Ignore cor, altho she has a bit of a point the attitude should be, 'were gona try our hardest and see what happens'

Like whats the point in splitting up before hand, and then down the line wondering what if?

Im just getting to know somebody :wink:

and the fact shes gona be at uni soon doesnt put me off at all.
If a little distance is an obstacle, whats the relationship worth anyway?
Good luck mate

Reply 15

bob_54321

manchester to leeds really isnt that far. you should be able to see each other at least once a week if you can afford it. i mean, its only about an hour on the train or driving. you could always meet up in the pennines in the middle, lol! plenty of people have relationshipds over much longer distances which work just fine so there shouldnt be that much of a problem.

Reply 16

Purple

18

I live with my b/f so I am planning on going to a university I can travel daily to.

Reply 17

Leigh

15

poser

and from my own experience, your wrong.

You missed the point of my post. I was saying, although a lot of relationships fail, those that do last the three years of long distance will be those that are real serious, and likely to last a long time afterwards.

Reply 18

bob_54321

manchester to leeds is really not that long distance

Reply 19

username30638

13

Masterplanner

hi guys im starting university in september, i live in manchester and im goin to leeds.

Obviously i will be moving away and obviously my girlfriend is going to start an argument with me about this, i just need some advice or some quotes on what to say to her for when this argument arises!
im not a nasty person so i cant really say things like "its my life!" "your selfish"

thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Tell her that you are married to the sea.

University and Girlfriends

Related discussions

Articles for you