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social phobia- help!

4

Hi guys

for yrs i thought i was just shy but now i think i may be suffering from a social phobia (please help as i am banging my head against a wall i dont know what to do - :banghead:

) as I tick all the boxes for social phobia shown below- has any had any experiences or could any offer some kind of support or someone i cud contact- i live in northern ireland by the way!

Social phobia
During the past 6 months:-

•

Do you worry a lot about embarrassing yourself in front of others?

•

Do you worry about what people might think of you?

•

Do you feel anxious in social situations?

•

Do you worry about behaving anxiously in any of the following situations:-

•

Public speaking

•

Eating/drinking in front of other people

•

Writing in front of other people

•

Parties and other social gatherings

•

Do you avoid any of the above situations because they make you feel anxious?

please help
thanks beauts x
:smile:

Reply 1

XavierTroy

1

WHOA WHOA WHOA! Wait... although this is a condition, I highly recommend you don't start placing labels on yourself. It is a very bad thing to do; to a dgeree it gives you will try to excuse yourself from the problem. Demand characteristics and all that!

I'm somewhat similar to that as I'm not a big partier or drinker although I do socialise alot I don't like highly crowded places with lots of people. I'm much more comfortable around close friends. I don't know how you feel in relation to that, but we are all different.

Reply 2

Laurie_Wilko

2

^ me too

Reply 3

Mark S

17

who wants a biryani?

Reply 4

poser

Markus Angelsdaughter

who wants a biryani?

your just a useless spammer with nothing interesting to say.

beauts.

i would suggest getting a job as maybe a waitress. you have no choice but to talk to customers all day, be in a busy social environment all day and in time you will overcome some of those.

i have to say reading the tick boxes, i was/am very mildly agreeing to each one. a week ago, before i got a job as a waiter i would have been strongly agreeing to some of them. it has definately given m e some confidence and its only my first week in, im sure it will increase. ive heard waiting/waitressing can help with these things. e.g. having to explain the specials to a table of 10 people, hard at first, now easy.

anyway this is just one way which could help a little bit im sure there are other ways :redface:

Reply 5

bob_54321

i could tick quite a few of those boxes, really wish i had more confidence, lol. ah well.

Reply 6

black_mamba

14

XavierTroy

WHOA WHOA WHOA! Wait... although this is a condition, I highly recommend you don't start placing labels on yourself. It is a very bad thing to do; to a dgeree it gives you will try to excuse yourself from the problem. Demand characteristics and all that!

I'm somewhat similar to that as I'm not a big partier or drinker although I do socialise alot I don't like highly crowded places with lots of people. I'm much more comfortable around close friends. I don't know how you feel in relation to that, but we are all different.

Whoa whoa whoa, a social phobe often doesn't even have friends because their shyness and anxiety is so crippling. Sometimes it can get so bad you can't face leaving your own home. :frown:

mystical_beauts, I'm gonna PM you some links... :smile:

Reply 7

Chris123456789

1

Yeah, all of those could be said about me too but I don't suffer from a phobia at all. :smile:

Reply 8

sim90

13

i would probably tick most of the boxes myself :redface:

im terrible when it comes to socialising... i blame it on the GCSE's :frown:

i have lost my social life due to GCSE Exam pressure :mad:

Reply 9

milesmartin

Heres a useful site/forum where you can get more advice about it:

www.social-anxiety.org.uk

:smile:

Reply 10

black_mamba

14

A more comprehensive list of symptoms is:

When faced with a social sitution you suffer from these;

- A tendency to blush.
- A shaky voice and trembling of hands and feet.
- Sweating,mainly on the hands.
- Panick attacks.
- Muscular tension.
- Difficulty in breathing.Lack of air.
- Pain or pressure on the thorax.
- An urgent need to urinate.
- Severe headaches.
- Gastrointestinal discomfort.
- Chills.
- A feeling of fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Dizziness.

Reply 11

kateykat

black_mamba

A more comprehensive list of symptoms is:

When faced with a social sitution you suffer from these;

- A tendency to blush.
- A shaky voice and trembling of hands and feet.
- Sweating,mainly on the hands.
- Panick attacks.
- Muscular tension.
- Difficulty in breathing.Lack of air.
- Pain or pressure on the thorax.
- An urgent need to urinate.
- Severe headaches.
- Gastrointestinal discomfort.
- Chills.
- A feeling of fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Dizziness.

That's me all over. Even when talking in front of about 6 people in class I completely panic...I've tried regulating my breathing and telling myself to stop being silly about it but I just can't help it, it's like there's something in my brain which tells me people are just going to laugh at me or I'll do something to embarrass myself and look stupid. I end up looking stupid anyway because I blush violently and can seriously barely breathe, but it's something that I really can't prevent no matter how hard I try. It really gets me down because other people speak in social situations with no difficulty whatsoever and I just have so much trouble. I'm confident when speaking on a one-to-one basis with someone else, but when it comes to groups I really freak out.

Reply 12

Biffy Clyro

12

my brain which tells me people are just going to laugh at me or I'll do something to embarrass myself and look stupid

Same here.

Sometimes I'll blush just because I'm embarressed that I'll blush. Tricky

Reply 13

Lawson

I had a severe lack of social confidence a few years back. The result of five years of bullying and various yada-yadas. I still struggle.

The important thing I found was in realising it - or, rather, accepting it - and proceeding to challenge myself when I could.

You've mentioned group situations. What I looked to do was to stick close to the the people within the group I was most comfortable with, providing a base to work from, and making sure to weigh in. Needn't be anything profound - just something such as "yeah" is at least getting your voice heard. Bit of 'active listening' was also useful - picking up on what someone else has said and asking them a quick question to get them to continue. Again; you've gotten your voice heard but the focus remains on somebody else.

The more you say and do, the more you'll realise that nothing embarrassing is going to come your way.

It's a very tricky thing to work through but if you just set little targets and aim for little steps confidence mounts up :smile:

Reply 14

kateykat

Biffy Clyro

Same here.

Sometimes I'll blush just because I'm embarressed that I'll blush. Tricky

I do that too! I think, "Oh my god I'm blushing about nothing, everyone must think I look really stupid" then it gets worse! Meh. :frown:

Reply 15

domie

hey, i totally empathise with u lol, i knid of agree to alot of the things on the 1st list as well. wot might be useful though, is to realise that the brain cannot understand negatives such as 'dont', so for example if u say to urself 'omg im blushing, dont blush', what you are actually doing, is focusing on the blushing, your not focusing on not blushing really are you? because then you would be thinking about something totally different, if that makes sense! also, what you should repeat to urself, is the fact that if you fear social situations, its not the actual fear thats letting you down, its the fact that you dont have belief in yourself that you wil be able to handle the situation-so if you knew you could handle anything, what could you have to fear? so it might be a good idea to have positive reinforcers such as 'i can handle it' or i wil handle it. whenever a negative thought enters your mind such as 'theres no way im going to be able to speak to that person' just say to yourself 'ill handle it' because if you think about it, once you face your fears, they begin to dissapear, however if the thought of facing your fears is the scary part, just think how much worse the feeling you have right now is. so isnt it better to just go out and do it, rather than living with the feeling of low self worth and regret that you would get from sitting there worrying?
WOA sorry ill shut up now, vv long post! hope it helps sum how! :smile:

Reply 16