avoidance

so i really hate when someone is mad at you, and they won't tell you why... they just avoid you!!! I've seen this twice this week... one of my best friends got mad at one of my other best friends (we still don't know why)... and just started avoiding her. They made up... but still! What a immature things to deal with stuff. Also, my exbf (and good friend :rolleyes:

) has just...stopped talking to me. The last thing he said to me was "lady grey... you are such a good friend." but now? I have NO idea why he's mad... because he's ignoring me. wont answer calls, ignores me on IM... so I guess I should just let it go... but its SO annoying!!!!!!!!!

Reply 1

mrteacher

1

i get very paranoid . so i wont be able to give you good advice. but i tend to avoid people a lot. but that's because my behaviour can be quite erratic. leave them alone and they will contact you, if not.... then it's their problem, not yours

Reply 2

Mark S

17

A friend ignored me for weeks once and never told me why. Yes, i think its fuc*ing annoying.

Reply 3

ladygrey

OP

Markus Angelsdaughter

A friend ignored me for weeks once and never told me why. Yes, i think its fuc*ing annoying.

just gets to the point where its like "well maybe i would be sorry if you would tell me whats wrong!!!"

Reply 4

Mark S

17

ladygrey

just gets to the point where its like "well maybe i would be sorry if you would tell me whats wrong!!!"

Eeeeeeexactly.

Reply 5

username30638

13

ladygrey

so i really hate when someone is mad at you, and they won't tell you why... they just avoid you!!! I've seen this twice this week... one of my best friends got mad at one of my other best friends (we still don't know why)... and just started avoiding her. They made up... but still! What a immature things to deal with stuff. Also, my exbf (and good friend :rolleyes:

) has just...stopped talking to me. The last thing he said to me was "lady grey... you are such a good friend." but now? I have NO idea why he's mad... because he's ignoring me. wont answer calls, ignores me on IM... so I guess I should just let it go... but its SO annoying!!!!!!!!!

There are so many innocent reasons why people don't answer calls or reply to messages. It doesn't mean that they hate you, so don't let it get to you :biggrin:

Reply 6

ladygrey

OP

jeff's_dead

There are so many innocent reasons why people don't answer calls or reply to messages. It doesn't mean that they hate you, so don't let it get to you :biggrin:

true... but every other time he's done this, its meant that he's mad at me.

Reply 7

ladygrey

OP

jeff's_dead

There are so many innocent reasons why people don't answer calls or reply to messages. It doesn't mean that they hate you, so don't let it get to you :biggrin:

true... but every other time he's done this, its meant that he's mad at me. :rolleyes:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

I'd say it'll sort itself out some how. But then i'm in a similar situation and i don't think it'll sort itself out. My friend stormed out of the pub we were in yesterdayreally pissed off and i'm prety sure its my fault (and the guys). Coz she liked this guy and then she didn't like him again and then she was being all strange and not actually telling me to stay away from him and stuff(i did, but the issue is that we like each other and he only likes her as a friend) and we both feel really guilty. Now she won't answer my phone calls and she's blocked me, as well as another of our friends, on msn. arg - wot to do????

Reply 9

Talon

18

I have a word for people that ignore someone and dont tell them what the problem is: Childish.

Its the sort of thing primary school kids do.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

It is indeed, but it doesn't make it any less annoying. I'd be happier if she was openly pissed off at me. Even if we have a huge row.

Reply 11

The Mudman

10

I used to get bothered by and, and go boot-licking to find out what it was I'd apparently done wrong (funilly enough, it was always me in the wrong... ^o))

Now I let them ignore me. If they have a problem, it's their problem, and if they want to solve it, they should confront me about it. Since I've done this, I've also been more willing to point out, and defend the fact that it was in fact their fault (e.g. I was with X at the time. Just because you didn't see me leave with him, because he was on the bus home at the time, doesn't mean I hadn't been with him at all.)

Just let them get on with it, then after a couple days, if they still sren't approaching you, and they've had some time to cool down, just try and start a casual conversation with them. Then confront them about them ignoring you. If they're still being arsey, it's their problem...

Reply 12

OctoberPoppy

1

Talon

I have a word for people that ignore someone and dont tell them what the problem is: Childish.

Its the sort of thing primary school kids do.

Sometimes it would be ten times worse if you spoke to the person. I sometimes ignore people rather than deal with issues, as I know that if I open my mouth, something awful is going to come out- like opening Pandora's box and that the damage would be irreversible. Some things are just too cruel to be uttered, making silence not childish but necessary.

Reply 13

Talon

18

It would be 10 times worse to tell the poor person why you are ignoring them while they just walking around with no clue whats going on? I dont think so...

Reply 14

Snide

1

I avoid certain people I don't like. Or rather never talk to. Ever.

Me and one of my 'friend' avoided each other for 2 years. We still haven't made up. Not that I want to - the guy was a jerk.

Reply 15

Mark S

17

I avoid those who dont deserve to be spoken to. End of.

Reply 16

Talon

18

Snide

I avoid certain people I don't like. Or rather never talk to. Ever.

Me and one of my 'friend' avoided each other for 2 years. We still haven't made up. Not that I want to - the guy was a jerk.

Well, thats different...he was a jerk....

Reply 17

OctoberPoppy

1

Talon

It would be 10 times worse to tell the poor person why you are ignoring them while they just walking around with no clue whats going on? I dont think so...

Poor person? I don't think so. I only ignore people who have REALLY irritated me. Why should I expend my energies on supposed 'friends' who make arrangements to meet me and then decide that they can't be bothered to come and don't even phone, so I wait around for half an hour in the cold?? And then don't even say sorry. Or how about the 'friends' that manipulate and twist other friends against you?? The 'friends' that plagarize your ideas and get credit for them after you trustingly lend them your essay because they're 'finding the topic difficult'. Such people aren't friends; they deserve to be ignored (and worse- if I was heartless then it'd be a damn sight more that merely ignoring them). If they don't know why they're being ignored...well, they have strange ideas of friendship. It's as horrible to ignore people as it is to be ignored. I've been on both sides and I don't do ignoring tactics peevishly, only as a method of self-protection: why should I risk getting hurt any further by them?

Reply 18

dede

11

You have really interesting things to say, but I would be able to take you a lot more seriously if you would stop writing in pink.

Just a suggestion.

Reply 19

wiggles

2

Kent Brockman: ...jailed for tax avoision and... what? Avoision...it's word, look it up! Well I don't say evasion, I say aVOIsion.

heheh, sorry, the title just reminded me of that bit, and made me laugh. but anyway, yes I remember finding it annoying when people did that, but it hasn't happened to me since around about year 3. maybe you should find yourself some friends who have progressed past the mental age of 7.

avoidance

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