Do I tell my boyfriend that another guy came on to me? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
It seems really pointless to tell him?
But it wasn't just another drunken guy in the club, it was my best guy friend.
He told me he wanted me to break up with my boyfriend and be with him. And it was also probably a drunken thing to say. It's quite awkward now.
I used to sorta like him years ago, so it was a weird feeling. But can never imagine going out with him now.

Then another guy who I used to be very close with came onto me the same night - there has always been a thing there, light hearted flirting, but he knew I had a boyfriend.

I suppose I'm a bit in shock because this never happens to me. Are you meant to tell your boyfriend about these encounters? It would only seem like I'm bragging though, or trying to make him jealous? And I don't think I've done anything wrong, but feel guilty cause maybe I was overly friendly to these people and led them on? But I also don't want to embarrass my friend, but some people in my group know about the first guy, and so what if it gets back to my boyfriend?

My boyfriend's also been taking me for granted these days and standing me up - I don't know why that's relevant, but it feels like it is. It's like part of me wants him to realise other people like me, and to remember that I'm his girlfriend. Pathetic as it sounds
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CountMancula
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#2
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#2
I don't think there's any real need to tell him. As long as you didn't do anything back then there's nothing really to worry about. Plus it will probably make him paranoid.

That's just my opinion.
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ilex_noemi
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#3
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#3
I would tell my boyfriend if someone hit on me or told me to break up with him, its better to be honest If he found out later and you didn't tell him it would be far more suspicious! I'm sure he'll be glad to know that you turned them down anyway
And it might get his attention if he's taking you for granted lol but don't use that as your main reason for being truthful!
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RichyFrench
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#4
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Don't tell him. I think most girls feel like they're being honest, but you aren't gonna do anything with these guys who came onto you. It means nothing, and you'll just end up worrying your boyfriend and making him paranoid. He'll probably try to stop you hanging out with your best guy friend which I can imagine won't go down well. You've just gotta tell the guy/s who came onto you, that you appreciate that he was able to say that, but you have a boyfriend who you love so it's not appropriate and nothing will happen.
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Chumbaniya
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#5
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I did a double take on the title, reading it first as "Do I tell my boyfriend that another guy came on me?" - thinking "Yeah, he's probably going to want to know about that one..."

Anywho, I don't think you have any obligation to tell him so it's all about whether you want him to know. If he's taking you for granted, the fact that there are other men interested in you could cause him to wake up to the fact that he should be making you feel wanted, as you say.
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
I told my boyfriend about our friend asking me inapropriate things and instead of him being thankful that I was straight up, honest and didn't keep it from him. He actually just moaned and said how I shouldn't of said anything, because it's not like I did anything wrong so I should of left it.

Take from that what you wanna..
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riotgrrl
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I feel like not mentioning something fairly major like that would almost be a lie of ommission, really. I would definitely mention it and I think I would be a little hurt if something like that happened and my boyfriend chose not to tell me.
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pinkangelgirl
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#8
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dont say anything, whats the point?

itll make your boyfriend paranoid and it will look like your only telling him to make him jealous.

if a guy actually started trying to touch you up or kiss you then fair enough, but i dont think words are worth telling your boyfriend over.

Good luck! let us know what happens
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Tomac
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#9
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If another girl came onto him and told him to break-up with you and be with her, would you want him to tell you or not?
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username239687
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Tell him. If you did nothing wrong, he'll be glad you were honest.

I lost all sense of trust for my recent ex when she would change her story, add in little details, remove other details etc, that and the fact she's a compulsive liar and totally not to be trusted with a tin of beans.

If it's bothering you, just tell him. Might be the wake up call he needs.
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Lucia.
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#11
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#11
Don't mention it. It will only make him paranoid. Been there, done that etc
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g_star_raw_1989
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#12
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#12
Don't.
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Sparrow_Squire
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#13
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#13
i wouldnt tell him, it really seems to be two seperate issues
1- your friend. he shouldnt have asked you to do that so tell him to respect your choices. do you still like him? if not tell him honestly how you feel. if hes a good friend hell listen]
2 - you bf. if you really feel taken for granted etc tell him! again honesty is the best!! and as cliche as this sounds if he cant appreciate you he isnt the one n theres plenty more fish in the sea.
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hollywoodbudgie
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#14
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I feel for the OP. If you don't, you'll feel bad and dishonest. If you do, then expect a horrible paranoid reaction.

What I've learnt is that if it's just a stranger hitting on you, don't bother mentioning it because you probably won't see the guy again and it's something small. If it's someone you know quite well, I would probably mention that.

Also, sparking paranoia in a guy is possibly the worst way to seek attention from them so if that's the reason you're thinking of bringing it up, then don't bother at all.
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Studentus-anonymous
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
It seems really pointless to tell him?
But it wasn't just another drunken guy in the club, it was my best guy friend.
He told me he wanted me to break up with my boyfriend and be with him. And it was also probably a drunken thing to say. It's quite awkward now.
I used to sorta like him years ago, so it was a weird feeling. But can never imagine going out with him now.

Then another guy who I used to be very close with came onto me the same night - there has always been a thing there, light hearted flirting, but he knew I had a boyfriend.

I suppose I'm a bit in shock because this never happens to me. Are you meant to tell your boyfriend about these encounters? It would only seem like I'm bragging though, or trying to make him jealous? And I don't think I've done anything wrong, but feel guilty cause maybe I was overly friendly to these people and led them on? But I also don't want to embarrass my friend, but some people in my group know about the first guy, and so what if it gets back to my boyfriend?

My boyfriend's also been taking me for granted these days and standing me up - I don't know why that's relevant, but it feels like it is. It's like part of me wants him to realise other people like me, and to remember that I'm his girlfriend. Pathetic as it sounds
It depends, usually there is no need as long as you aren't being dodgy.

Sometimes there is reason to though, and if you are to tell, it's probably best to tell him about the first guy since he is your best guy mate and he deserves to know that the creeper is sniffing around his girlfriend.

If your best guy friend can't keep things platonic and be a grown up about the friendship then you probably need to move on, I never get why girls think it is okay to keep being good friends with a guy who is clearly wanting in their knickers, at least when they have a proper boyfriend, it's just rude.
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Girl4.0
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#16
Report 1 year ago
#16
Someone that I sit next to in class has been a classmate since last year, and he knows my history with boyfriends. He kept like dropping his pen on purpose so he could lean behind my chair, then he kept yawning and resting his arms around my shoulders. He brushed his hand against my leg a few times as well, and started whispering “Babygirl..” a couple times in my ear. This guy..he annoys me like hell every time I have Spanish. I’m not really one to snitch, but I’m not sure if it’s classified as something bad..so..ADVICE PLEASE!
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