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Should I let him have my revision notes?

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Reply 20
I gave my notes to a friend, it didn't end up nice. Not only did she become lazy, but she also got dependent on me, asking me for 'help' too often and not talking to me if i didn't help. :angry:
Reply 21
Original post by RollerBall
He's your closest friend and you don't want to help him succeed? What the hell, so what if he's lazy, you can help him get good grades.

You shouldn't want to help him as long as he doesn't get better than you. What sort of a selfish attitude is that to one of your best friends? You should have been happy he managed to get what he did with your help not take out your own **** ups in your exam on him.


Oh, and I don't slack my ass off making these notes just so other people can use it.
Reply 22
Wow do people on this site actually know the meaning of friend. Why would you resent your friend getting a good result? If the notes would help him why not give them, especially since you regard him as a close friend.

If one of my friends acted like this towars me I probably wouldn't call them my friend again tbh.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 23
What difference does it make to you? You're not going to miss out in any way.

No matter how many times you inform us you're not stingy, it sounds like you are.

The only reason you could have for not giving them to him is you're worried he'll score higher than you.
Reply 24
No, or at the least sell them to him.
Reply 25
Original post by RollerBall
He's your closest friend and you don't want to help him succeed? What the hell, so what if he's lazy, you can help him get good grades.

You shouldn't want to help him as long as he doesn't get better than you. What sort of a selfish attitude is that to one of your best friends? You should have been happy he managed to get what he did with your help not take out your own **** ups in your exam on him.


Really sorry mate, was goin to rep you but clicked neg instead.
Reply 26
I totally understand where you're coming from, i have a friend that does exactly the same thing. She never works hard in anything and i try my best all the time, and she just borrows mine and copies it. She even takes my work without asking me and copies it, and then tells me just before the teacher asks if i did lend it to her it so she doesn't get into trouble. Of course i cover for her, but she doesn't deserve the grades she gets. I don't think you're stingy at all!
Reply 27
Tell him you need them for your own revision if it means that much to you.
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.

I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.

Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.

I just don't feel like I should give them to him :s-smilie:


On a smaller scale version I know how you feel: we do psych practicals, I'd spent hours working hard on one, scouring the internet for good studies etc The teacher has a look at my work and told the rest of the class to copy mine.

Originally I felt very annoyed as I'd worked so hard and all they had to do was copy but then I realised that it was actually a huge compliment and at the end of the day, people may copy but chances are if they don't understand it or spend a lot of time practising reguargiating it, they won't do well come the exam. They won't be able to copy you in the exam room (these practicals don't get submitted but questions may come up on it in the exam).

If you are really dead set against it, you could try revision together, with you teaching from your notes - that way you both benefit.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Miracle Day
If he had a nice attitude about it, I would have. Point taken though.

The answers seem pretty split.


He was probably joking. If he is that close of a friend to you I don't think he would have still said it/not apologised if you'd told him how you felt.

Original post by Miracle Day
Oh, and I don't slack my ass off making these notes just so other people can use it.


No, you're right. You use them for your own revision purposes. Are you going to waste any time/lose knowledge/damage your own learning by giving him your notes? No, you're not.

What you're doing is downright seflish. If this was a random guy then you might have a point, if you were cohort marked you might have a point but you're not, so you don't. You're just being bitter to one of your closest friends.

What do you lose from giving him your notes? Literally nothing. Your friend might score as well on you in a test with your help. How on earth is that a negative? You've just helped your friend score well in a test by doing literally nothing but sharing with him the work you'd have done anyway for your own learning.

It's not as if you're wasting time making him notes for a subject you're not even being examined on. You're literally giving a close friend (who you're supposed to care about) something which could help him score much better on an exam without any additional effort on your part. Why would you even think twice about this? Help friend succeed with goals whilst doing no additional work or withhold help and see him struggle. Seems like a no brainer to me.

Personally, I just think you're bitter and believe you deserve to score better than him. Fine. Just don't pussy foot around it and don't even dare to call him a close friend.
(edited 11 years ago)
I think a lot of people saying that you're stingy and need to share are missing the point. What's HE doing for you? You've already helped him with notes once (and he took the piss a bit with that comment after the exam results!), he shouldn't just expect to freeload off you all the time. It's him who's being selfish by expecting you to do all the hard work so that he doesn't have to.
Reply 31
Original post by RollerBall
He was probably joking. If he is that close of a friend to you I don't think he would have still said it/not apologised if you'd told him how you felt.



No, you're right. You use them for your own revision purposes. Are you going to waste any time/lose knowledge/damage your own learning by giving him your notes? No, you're not.

What you're doing is downright seflish. If this was a random guy then you might have a point, if you were cohort marked you might have a point but you're not, so you don't. You're just being bitter to one of your closest friends.

What do you lose from giving him your notes? Literally nothing. Your friend might score as well on you in a test with your help. How on earth is that a negative? You've just helped your friend score well in a test by doing literally nothing but sharing with him the work you'd have done anyway for your own learning.

It's not as if you're wasting time making him notes for a subject you're not even being examined on. You're literally giving a close friend (who you're supposed to care about) something which could help him score much better on an exam without any additional effort on your part. Why would you even think twice about this? Help friend succeed with goals whilst doing no additional work or withhold help and see him struggle. Seems like a no brainer to me.

Personally, I just think you're bitter and believe you deserve to score better than him. Fine. Just don't pussy foot around it and don't even dare to call him a close friend.


Do you have a reply to?

v v


Original post by Hot Sauce
I think a lot of people saying that you're stingy and need to share are missing the point. What's HE doing for you? You've already helped him with notes once (and he took the piss a bit with that comment after the exam results!), he shouldn't just expect to freeload off you all the time. It's him who's being selfish by expecting you to do all the hard work so that he doesn't have to.
Reply 32
I don't see why you should.. why should he be able to sponge off your hard work? :\
Don't. It's easy. "Make your own". What's so wrong with saying that? If he takes it as an offence, laugh it off. Simple.
Reply 34
Original post by PatrickD
Just give them to him to appease him. They probably won't help that much anyway as very few people can learn just by reading through a booklet. The fact that you've prepared it yourself means you'll know the material much better than he ever will.


First off i imagine he isn't as lazy as you think.
He cares about his grades (and his perceived intelligence), if he didn't he wouldn't mock you for revising and him not, and getting the same grade.
If i got that wrong he's still a douche for laughing at the results.

You don't know whether or not that revision helped you whatever anyone else got. Maybe you'd have got much lower without it.

I'd probably give him the notes if you're not going to be using them. There's no point punishing him for being lazy as i very much doubt he'll learn.

Keep up the good work :smile:
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.

I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.

Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.

I just don't feel like I should give them to him :s-smilie:


I don't think you're being stingy really. I can see where you're coming from. Like others have said, there's a difference between the odd notes from a friend when you don't understand something (which I have done in the past) and taking the mick like this friend of yours seems to be doing.

I would make an excuse, or just give him a few bits rather than the whole set. Just learn to set boundaries, because it will carry on into University (if you go that is). Similar stuff happened to me in first year when a 'friend' asked to revise together then just copied all my notes and didn't do any of his own work. It's really frustrating, but I don't let it happen any more.
Reply 36
Original post by RollerBall
x


If I was innately spiteful or stingy I wouldn't have given him my resources first time around?
Reply 37
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.

I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.

Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.

I just don't feel like I should give them to him :s-smilie:


I know the feeling! i wouldn't, he's never going to learn that he needs to work hard if he thinks he will have you to fall back on! Besides anyone who says that after getting results is't exactly a good friend? i'd feel seriously guilty myself!
I have the same problem :/ We did an essay in class for history before Easter and surprise surprise, my friend didn't turn up. I worked my butt off for the essay and ended up top of the class, and she asked me if she could use my essay to prepare for it. Normally I'm happy to share my notes, but this time I was annoyed cause I'd spent hours trying to research historiography etc and all she had to do was copy it off my essay :frown: I ended up giving her it because at the end of the day, she's not learning the information as well as I have, and to be honest it doesn't really matter what grade someone else gets because it's not affecting your grade. I'd day just give him it, one day he will learn that he has to do his own work to succeed :smile:
Original post by Hot Sauce
I think a lot of people saying that you're stingy and need to share are missing the point. What's HE doing for you? You've already helped him with notes once (and he took the piss a bit with that comment after the exam results!), he shouldn't just expect to freeload off you all the time. It's him who's being selfish by expecting you to do all the hard work so that he doesn't have to.


He's his close friend for God's sake, not some random off the street. Do you ensure that everyone in your friendship circle gives you something for everything you give them? It's very likely he doesn't have a very good work ethic and has now realised he's a bit FUBAR without help from his friends.

Why should the OP punish his close friend for having a bad work ethic by making him do worse in an exam when he could help him score better with no additional effort on his part? If he's that bothered by it go and talk to him and say he needs to buck his ideas but he'll help him this time. All close friends should help each out in a rutt and not expect some sort of payment/return.

The fact you believe that he must receive some sort of payment/return services to help out a close friend is disgusting. Whenever you help out your best mate do you wonder what you'll get back from it before you decide to or not? Helping out a best mate and seeing them succeed because of your help should be reward enough, regardless of whether he's lazy or not. You're friends with him for a reason, that reason should be enough to warrent helping him regardless of why the situation arose. The fact that the OP can help him with literally no additional work on his part should be the icing on the cake.

Original post by Miracle Day
Do you have a reply to?

v v


See above.

Original post by Miracle Day
If I was innately spiteful or stingy I wouldn't have given him my resources first time around?


I never said you were innately spiteful or stingy. I said you were bitter about your cock up in the exam and believe that you should do better than him, close friend or not.

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