Should I let him have my revision notes?
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Original post by RollerBall
He's his close friend for God's sake, not some random off the street. Do you ensure that everyone in your friendship circle gives you something for everything you give them? It's very likely he doesn't have a very good work ethic and has now realised he's a bit FUBAR without help from his friends.
Why should the OP punish his close friend for having a bad work ethic by making him do worse in an exam when he could help him score better with no additional effort on his part? If he's that bothered by it go and talk to him and say he needs to buck his ideas but he'll help him this time. All close friends should help each out in a rutt and not expect some sort of payment/return.
The fact you believe that he must receive some sort of payment/return services to help out a close friend is disgusting. Whenever you help out your best mate do you wonder what you'll get back from it before you decide to or not? Helping out a best mate and seeing them succeed because of your help should be reward enough, regardless of whether he's lazy or not. You're friends with him for a reason, that reason should be enough to warrent helping him regardless of why the situation arose. The fact that the OP can help him with literally no additional work on his part should be the icing on the cake.
See above.
I never said you were innately spiteful or stingy. I said you were bitter about your cock up in the exam and believe that you should do better than him, close friend or not.
Why should the OP punish his close friend for having a bad work ethic by making him do worse in an exam when he could help him score better with no additional effort on his part? If he's that bothered by it go and talk to him and say he needs to buck his ideas but he'll help him this time. All close friends should help each out in a rutt and not expect some sort of payment/return.
The fact you believe that he must receive some sort of payment/return services to help out a close friend is disgusting. Whenever you help out your best mate do you wonder what you'll get back from it before you decide to or not? Helping out a best mate and seeing them succeed because of your help should be reward enough, regardless of whether he's lazy or not. You're friends with him for a reason, that reason should be enough to warrent helping him regardless of why the situation arose. The fact that the OP can help him with literally no additional work on his part should be the icing on the cake.
See above.
I never said you were innately spiteful or stingy. I said you were bitter about your cock up in the exam and believe that you should do better than him, close friend or not.
Who's said he's going to do bad in the exam? He's perfectly capable of making notes himself, I know this. He's just lazy.
You're forgetting, I know him not you.
The only time I have ever let any of my friends look at my revision notes has been when one of them was hospitalised for a good few months. I'm all for friendship and kindness, and I'm certainly not stingy... but personally, unless your friend has had some pretty serious knockbacks during his A Levels, I would say no. He needs to learn that not all things golden in this world can be achieved without at least putting some effort in, otherwise he's going to end up like some lovely people in my classes in Uni, who always just happen to get pally with my boyfriend and I whenever exams come around. (Like right now, for instance. We're shockingly popular these days... 
)
In short, there's being a friend by giving him your notes, but then there's being a friend by letting him experience things for himself. And if he cannot respect the decision you make... well, I think we all know where this sentence ends.
)In short, there's being a friend by giving him your notes, but then there's being a friend by letting him experience things for himself. And if he cannot respect the decision you make... well, I think we all know where this sentence ends.
This is such a tricky situation because this person is your friend
I would give the person some of your notes but not all and clearly tell him that he needs to do some work of his own thats why you have given him some of your notes but not all. if your friend was making an effort already to revise/study then if I was you I would give all the notes.
Friendships in college are about equity.
If one friend kept doing all the homework,essays and notes and then giving them to another its hardly fair is it?
When I was doing my alevels, I had a very close friend who I would revise with on the same table and we would help each other out. And because I knew she was making an effort with her own revision in the subject I would happily give her my notes. If I did no work for a subject, I would never expect her to give me all her notes.
I would give the person some of your notes but not all and clearly tell him that he needs to do some work of his own thats why you have given him some of your notes but not all. if your friend was making an effort already to revise/study then if I was you I would give all the notes.
Friendships in college are about equity.
If one friend kept doing all the homework,essays and notes and then giving them to another its hardly fair is it?
When I was doing my alevels, I had a very close friend who I would revise with on the same table and we would help each other out. And because I knew she was making an effort with her own revision in the subject I would happily give her my notes. If I did no work for a subject, I would never expect her to give me all her notes.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Miracle Day
Who's said he's going to do bad in the exam? He's perfectly capable of making notes himself, I know this. He's just lazy.
You're forgetting, I know him not you.
You're forgetting, I know him not you.
Then don't give him the notes then. I don't know why you've made this thread, you've clearly made your mind up. You don't need to justify being a **** to us, you need to justify it to your "close" friend.
My point is clear and simple. You can help out a close friend without any additional work on your part. Your rebuttal is (very sketchy, you haven't actually refuted my point yet) that he needs to be a taught a lesson and to make his own notes.
Frankly, my own counter-point to that is that if you truly believe it is a best mates place to teach a life lesson by punishment then you're frankly a **** friend. I'll leave it there as any further debate is just going to end up with me trashing your ****ty personality and it's not neccessary. Of course, if you can come out with any other sound reasoning as to why you shouldn't then I'd be happy to debate it further.
Original post by RollerBall
He's his close friend for God's sake, not some random off the street. Do you ensure that everyone in your friendship circle gives you something for everything you give them? It's very likely he doesn't have a very good work ethic and has now realised he's a bit FUBAR without help from his friends.
Why should the OP punish his close friend for having a bad work ethic by making him do worse in an exam when he could help him score better with no additional effort on his part? If he's that bothered by it go and talk to him and say he needs to buck his ideas but he'll help him this time. All close friends should help each out in a rutt and not expect some sort of payment/return.
The fact you believe that he must receive some sort of payment/return services to help out a close friend is disgusting. Whenever you help out your best mate do you wonder what you'll get back from it before you decide to or not? Helping out a best mate and seeing them succeed because of your help should be reward enough, regardless of whether he's lazy or not. You're friends with him for a reason, that reason should be enough to warrent helping him regardless of why the situation arose. The fact that the OP can help him with literally no additional work on his part should be the icing on the cake.
Why should the OP punish his close friend for having a bad work ethic by making him do worse in an exam when he could help him score better with no additional effort on his part? If he's that bothered by it go and talk to him and say he needs to buck his ideas but he'll help him this time. All close friends should help each out in a rutt and not expect some sort of payment/return.
The fact you believe that he must receive some sort of payment/return services to help out a close friend is disgusting. Whenever you help out your best mate do you wonder what you'll get back from it before you decide to or not? Helping out a best mate and seeing them succeed because of your help should be reward enough, regardless of whether he's lazy or not. You're friends with him for a reason, that reason should be enough to warrent helping him regardless of why the situation arose. The fact that the OP can help him with literally no additional work on his part should be the icing on the cake.
The difference is that I wouldn't ask a friend, who I knew had worked hard on notes for hours/days/weeks, knowing that I had done nothing myself, to give me their revision notes.
I don't expect 'payment' every time I help a friend and I will willingly help friends if I can with any work that they don't understand. But when I share notes with my friends, we each do separate notes on different topics and SWAP THEM.
Revision notes take a lot of time and effort to complete. If someone is willing to demonstrate that they are at least trying to do something to help themself then I will do my best to help them. If they're going to do absolutely nothing and expect to freeride off me they can think again.
It's selfish to expect my friends to do all my work for me so I can sit on my lazy arse and do nothing. I wouldn't even put my friends in the position that the OP's friend has put him in by asking for notes knowing I had nothing to offer them to help with their work - I would frankly be embarrassed to do so.
In all fairness, if your friend is lazy, there isn't much chance of them using them anyway. Or at least not to the extent that you would. Also, they're your revision notes and you've spent time making them and therefore you understand them more than anyone else, I find the process of making revision notes is revision! So, he's missing out already by not making his own.
For one of my January exams I made lots of flashcards on Quizlet and my friend asked if he could use them, so I let him. He didn't even know how to use them, so I even had to teach him that. But even after all that, I came out with an A and he came out with a D.
So in your case, if your friend wants to do well, he probably should use his own revision methods.
For one of my January exams I made lots of flashcards on Quizlet and my friend asked if he could use them, so I let him. He didn't even know how to use them, so I even had to teach him that. But even after all that, I came out with an A and he came out with a D.
So in your case, if your friend wants to do well, he probably should use his own revision methods.
Original post by wanderlust.xx
I was like you. At first, I hated it and it felt unfair that they had someone to ask questions and I didn't. Then I realised that I was at the top of the chain. There *was* no higher.
May I suggest that you read the manga 'Kare Kano'?
If it was someone asking for mine, then I'd send them with no questions asked. Main reasons being that it'd take a GENIUS to understand my notes/annotations/colour codes, so tbh they'd be saving themselves time if they just revised from scratch themselves 
. My notes end up just as random words, phrases, and coloured lines; which make great sense to me but would be like another language to someone else.
It would annoy me if people asked at all without a *very* good reason. For example last year I had a friend who's daughter had been in hospital for a few weeks before the exams started so she was obviously behind as uni just becomes your last priority when your child is in hospital.. so I sent her my notes then because I know she would have made her own if she possibly could have done.
. My notes end up just as random words, phrases, and coloured lines; which make great sense to me but would be like another language to someone else.It would annoy me if people asked at all without a *very* good reason. For example last year I had a friend who's daughter had been in hospital for a few weeks before the exams started so she was obviously behind as uni just becomes your last priority when your child is in hospital.. so I sent her my notes then because I know she would have made her own if she possibly could have done.
give him the notes...you never know when you might need something from him and you don't want him to hold a grudge or for this to affect your friendship...perhaps you could revise together? If with much less revision, he still manages to get nearly the same marks...perhaps his revision methods are more effective or he is stronger at answering certain types of questions?
But his attitude is lame...tell him he needs change if he wants them
good luck with your exams
But his attitude is lame...tell him he needs change if he wants them
good luck with your exams
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
You would not be in this position if you had only got 100 UMS
Original post by Gallant92
First off i imagine he isn't as lazy as you think.
He cares about his grades (and his perceived intelligence), if he didn't he wouldn't mock you for revising and him not, and getting the same grade.
If i got that wrong he's still a douche for laughing at the results.
You don't know whether or not that revision helped you whatever anyone else got. Maybe you'd have got much lower without it.
I'd probably give him the notes if you're not going to be using them. There's no point punishing him for being lazy as i very much doubt he'll learn.
Keep up the good work
He cares about his grades (and his perceived intelligence), if he didn't he wouldn't mock you for revising and him not, and getting the same grade.
If i got that wrong he's still a douche for laughing at the results.
You don't know whether or not that revision helped you whatever anyone else got. Maybe you'd have got much lower without it.
I'd probably give him the notes if you're not going to be using them. There's no point punishing him for being lazy as i very much doubt he'll learn.
Keep up the good work
Erm... I think you've quoted the wrong person.
Original post by banana-milkshake
Just ignore the email and pretend you didn't get the email - I don't think its that stingy, they belong to you so you should have the choice. If anything or your not sure now don't rush into a decision you'll later regret
And don't be put off after the January exams- just make sure you learn from them so they motivate you more
And don't be put off after the January exams- just make sure you learn from them so they motivate you more
Chances are he'll see his friend sometime between now and June
OP, I'd probably tell him he needs to go through the material himself to make his own notes to make sure he doesn't miss anything (if they're your notes, presumably you don't include stuff you already well know), and maybe offer to give him a copy of yours nearer the time.
Original post by Miracle Day
And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I'm not sure what that has to do with you giving him your notes or not. It wasn't as if he cost you the time in the exam?
As you said you were doing a booklet I presume this is something physical that you will have to photocopy. In which case, just photocopy 1/3 of your work (perhaps the first few pages) and say that you're still making the booklet. Don't give everything to him but give him something to start with; let him see how to layout notes and continue the booklet himself. That way he will be able to learn himself and maybe in future he won't have to ask you for notes.
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
Its always the "slackers" that ask for notes, my answer may sound "stingy" but its the truth. Why would you give away your hard work, to someone who lazes about and in the end acts smug over all your effort.
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
You don't have to do anything that makes you feel angry and uncomfortable. It sounds as if this is the situation with your friend and I can understand how irritating it is. If it takes you time or effort to provide him with the information then you should explain that to him.
However if you can set aside your feelings and just accept the way he is, with all his failings and laziness, then it would be an incredibly generous gesture of friendship. It might even go unrewarded or unacknowledged by him but you yourself know what you have done and friendship is sometimes about giving with no thought of return.
As I say though, if it would cause you too much distress and bad feelings and you don't feel right about it all then just tell him so. If you don't feel up to that you can always use the excuse that it would be better for him to prepare his own notes as that is the best way to revise (true!) or that you've done your notes in a way only you can understand this time.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Miracle Day
My friend just sent me an email asking me for my revision notes for History. But I'm not sure whether to give them to him or not. I'm not stingy by any means, infact I'm always the first to share but I don't feel like I should in this circumstance.
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
I've worked extremely hard on creating this booklet for my personal revision, it took me ages and I don't feel like I should just give it to him to use if you get what I mean? He's really lazy, and I know if I give him them he'll want all my notes for my other subjects.
Oh I'll also add one of my closest friends. And during the January exams he slacked, and I worked hard and during the exam I ended up losing time and not being able to answer a fifth of the paper and so ended up with like 5 ums above him although the same grade. I give him all my resources for that exam, and after we got our results he jokes "lol all the revision you did, and we got the same grade" etc which was rather annoying and the fact my work never payed off has probably demotivated me hugely.
I just don't feel like I should give them to him
Its up to you and he has no right to have them
.Don't give them to him. It won't help him, actually doing the revision to make his own booklet would help a lot more.
I get asked for things like this too and I feel like I am being walked over so I lend out individual sheets but keep my personal revision for myself unless we are group studying and then share for the time but always take it home with me.
I get asked for things like this too and I feel like I am being walked over so I lend out individual sheets but keep my personal revision for myself unless we are group studying and then share for the time but always take it home with me.
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