Can't talk to girls

Okay, so I'm not quite bad enough to physically be unable to talk to any girls! In fact, if I don't fancy a girl I don't have any problems and can easily get along with them and be good friends.

The problem comes when trying to talk to girls I would like to go further with. :wink:

I always seem to just get mental blocks where I can't think of anything to say so I just end up blurting something stupid and so she thinks I'm a cock!

I can't be the only one this way, just wondering how people can overcome this situation? It is quite a bad problem as it is leading me to often not even try to talk to a girl I might like the look of, as I am afraid I won't know what to say.

Reply 1

Toy Soldier

Alcohol, in moderation.

Reply 2

sig.fig.

I'm a bit like that. I'm alright when I get started, I'm just crap at striking up conversation.

Reply 3

nedflanders

That has worked before. However, I feel that it might be advantageous to be able to talk to girls without becoming an alcoholic.

Reply 4

Ferrus

I have the same issue. If you find a way out of it please tell me. I might spare your life on judgement day :smile:

Reply 5

Toy Soldier

nedflanders

That has worked before. However, I feel that it might be advantageous to be able to talk to girls without becoming an alcoholic.

In moderation! As in just one or two, if you go too far you'll talk cr*p anyway and look like an idiot. And I was only talking about the first contact, once you;ve talked to her a few times it should be easy enoughto strike up a conversation sober, as you'll know a bit more about the person.

It's like Uni Halls Syndrome. Everyone turns up nervous, everyone gets drunk for a week solid, and suddenly you have plenty of friends.

...not that I'm suggesting you should go on a week long bender just to get a girl.

Reply 6

Gio

same here but sometimes im alrite, another problem is ill get carried away when we are having a good talk, instead of listening to her, i keep smiling and stuffs

Reply 7

nedflanders

castroneves

all sounds horribly familier

Lol, so there is no quick easy solution?

What about some basic topics that can always be used to get a good conversation going?

At least it seems I'm not the only one!

Reply 8

wazzup

lol. i used to be like that. but got more confidence.just talk about random stuff.sometimes u dont even need to say anything, just listen to her.

Reply 9

bluedreamer

I’m like that too! :ninja:

I fake confidence until someone I like comes along :redface:

Reply 10

Ferrus

nedflanders

Lol, so there is no quick easy solution?

'Fraid not. Life can be cruel, heh.

Reply 11

TommyD

Ok heres my poor excuse for a solution (or atleast how i approach girls anyway)

Have no doubts that the hardest thing will appoaching them initially (am sure you already know this)

-Open the conversation simply with just a 'hi, how are you?' Dont overdo it! Just be casual!
Once this is done you'll no doubt have her attention.

-Find a common factor
eg Where have u seen her around? Is she in the same class as you/lives around the same place? Find an opening subject that is something both of you know about and can discuss (if you dont know anything thats a common factor then you obviously havnt been paying enough attention!!!!)
AND NOTE: this common factor should be well considered. You dont want her to think you're a stalker
So dont walk up to her and say 'I saw you at the pub last week.' NOOOOOO!

-This will more than likely naturally branch off and onwards from that common factor.
Remember, if you and a girl are likely to work at all, having conversation with them should be natural and easy.
So theres not much to worry about - if you walk up to her and try chatting, and she seems totally disinterested and replies with yes and nos, shes obviously not worth the effort.

Anyway thats what i usually go with.
But then its VERY RARE that i approach a girl like that. All my relationships have stemmed from 'accidental encounters'
Like they always say things happen when you least expect it :p:

Anyway, forgive my ranting and tell me if thats any use or instead totally f*****g useless!

Reply 12

nedflanders

TommyD

Ok heres my poor excuse for a solution... (Lots of stuff)

Yeah thanks seems quite useful. I think the key is to try to get more relaxed then hopefully everything will just come more naturally. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done!

Reply 13

TommyD

Yeah thanks seems quite useful. I think the key is to try to get more relaxed then hopefully everything will just come more naturally. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done!

To be totally honest, talking to a girl you like takes more guts than anything i know of! Its the most terrifying thing ever.

If you manage it, no matter what the outcome, you'll feel really good about yourself just for achieving something you thought was so intimidating.

So just go for it - pick yourself up, tell yourself you're brave enough to do it and tell yourself 'what the hell'

Reply 14

Mark S

The guy with harold from neighbours in his avatar is right. Alcohol in moderation really is a really good way to overcome this. Obviously it doesnt tackle the route of the problem, but at least when you need it, its there.

Obviously, dont get really drunk so she thinks you're too drunk to even talk to, let alone get with. You don't want to make yourself look and feel like more of a cock do you?