Mark my GCSE Of Mice & Men answer
Question: What methods does Steinbeck use in this passage to present Candy? I would really appreciate any feeback and I apologise for the length!
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messades. One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.
Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person.
Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person.
In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful". Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.
Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room.
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messades. One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.
Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person.
Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person.
In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful". Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.
Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room.
Scroll to see replies
Needs to be more detailed... I would say you're looking at a high B/low A grade. Is this for AQA? If so, you must evaluate the language/structure/form rather than analyse.
Original post by mevidek
One tip: please don't say "I also think" in a marked essay/answer, just say something like "from the text, it is clear that Steinbeck also intends for Candy's feelings to symbolise the illuminating light".
Thanks, I'll bear that mind.
Would also talk about Steinbeck making Candy insecure, and how he knows that once he is useless he will be thrown off the ranch, it should be mentioned that he quickly wanted to jump into the "American Dream" that George has by offering all his money. And just make some waffle about that. If you continue on with that writing I can see you getting an A-A*.
Sources: Myself got an A at GCSE
Edit: and as the guy above me said... do not use "I think" or "I saw this" or "I thought this" etc. Do not write in any person just analysis, what would be alright is saying "one would presume"
Sources: Myself got an A at GCSE
Edit: and as the guy above me said... do not use "I think" or "I saw this" or "I thought this" etc. Do not write in any person just analysis, what would be alright is saying "one would presume"
(edited 12 years ago)
Try and get it to flow better, there are also spelling mistakes:
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.
Original post by multiplexing-gamer
Try and get it to flow better, there are also spelling mistakes:
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word. upon the readers and convey different messades. Spelling mistakes of 'messages' One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence Steinbeck deliberately used repition Spelling mistake in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. What effect did this have on the audience? Think about structure and the form used and how all these contribute to a successful passage. Also try and be a tad more original. They're boring points, offer up exciting thoughts, and back them up with evidence.
Yes i realise there are spelling mistakes- i typed it up onto the computer quickly but im usually careful in exams. Yeah i realise the points are boring, im normally quite good at coming up with my own ideas but i think my brain dead when i wrote this.But its ok, this is a past paper. I know that i wont candy in the real exam.
Original post by Starrstruck
Yes i realise there are spelling mistakes- i typed it up onto the computer quickly but im usually careful in exams. Yeah i realise the points are boring, im normally quite good at coming up with my own ideas but i think my brain dead when i wrote this.But its ok, this is a past paper. I know that i wont candy in the real exam.
If you wrote it quickly with not much effort then what's the point in getting it marked, because it wont be your ability.
Original post by multiplexing-gamer
Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word.
Spelling mistakes of 'messages'
Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence
Spelling mistake
Doesn't really flow very well and I dont think it makes sense or is clear. Delete the 'create' and use another word.
Spelling mistakes of 'messages'
Link these sentences for fluency, simple words like 'and' between the latter and former sentence
Spelling mistake
But this is literature, not language. They wouldn't get marked for anything like spellings or fluency etc., only the interpretations they make.
Original post by Starrstruck
Spoiler
It seems quite good so far, especially considering it was written under timed conditions (I assume it was?). I think you can be relatively confident you would get an A for this, I mean this exemplar http://www.edexcel.com/migrationdocuments/GCSE2010/DocID-0272300138890-%28Q20%29-SampleAA.pdf got full marks and I didn't really think it was that good so it's hard to tell. As multiplexing-gamer said, you could increase your mark if you thought of some more imaginative/alternative interpretations and looked a bit more beyond the obvious and link it to some of the novel's themes.
Original post by 123_456_789
But this is literature, not language. They wouldn't get marked for anything like spellings or fluency etc., only the interpretations they make.
It seems quite good so far, especially considering it was written under timed conditions (I assume it was?). I think you can be relatively confident you would get an A for this, I mean this exemplar http://www.edexcel.com/migrationdocuments/GCSE2010/DocID-0272300138890-%28Q20%29-SampleAA.pdf got full marks and I didn't really think it was that good so it's hard to tell. As multiplexing-gamer said, you could increase your mark if you thought of some more imaginative/alternative interpretations and looked a bit more beyond the obvious and link it to some of the novel's themes.
It seems quite good so far, especially considering it was written under timed conditions (I assume it was?). I think you can be relatively confident you would get an A for this, I mean this exemplar http://www.edexcel.com/migrationdocuments/GCSE2010/DocID-0272300138890-%28Q20%29-SampleAA.pdf got full marks and I didn't really think it was that good so it's hard to tell. As multiplexing-gamer said, you could increase your mark if you thought of some more imaginative/alternative interpretations and looked a bit more beyond the obvious and link it to some of the novel's themes.
Yes it was written under timed conditions - 20 minutes in fact. I agree with you about marks on fluency and spelling. You don't even have to have good vocabulary, you just need to communicate your ideas well. Thanks for the feedback.
For AQA you need to be original in your piece. Everyone can say simple points but you need to be able to make more imaginative points. In our class we write
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P
I'll say B/A.
It's a very good start though and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment.
I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.
You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P
I'll say B/A.
It's a very good start though
and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment. I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.
You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by HarryPotterFanx
For AQA you need to be original in your piece. Everyone can say simple points but you need to be able to make more imaginative points. In our class we write
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P
I'll say B/A.
It's a very good start though and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment.
I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.
You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)
P- Point
E- Evidence
A- Analysis
C- Connective. (So, think of what else it could mean)
A- Analysis again. :P
I'll say B/A.
It's a very good start though
and I believe that you will do great on your exam or controlled assessment. I got 27/30 on my Of Mice and Men.
You also NEED to comment on structure and how that affects Candy and also the language of Candy or how language is used to describe him. (you have to have these two things or it will lower your mark)
Yeah I agree, I'll keep the PEACA in mind when I write my next one. Thanks.
Please mark mine i am desperate for it
In this passage Candy gradually opens to George and Lennie. He doesn’t have enough confidence when he is speaking that why he hesitates continuously when speaking to George. He is a warm and welcoming character that that was one reason why he told everything to secure the friendship with them. When he had drawn a derogatory statement from George. “He felt safe now and spoke more confidently.” Steinbeck uses the adverb safe and confident to tell the reader that Candy always open when he feels that he can trust the person he is speaking to. Like other ranch workers he guard his feeling from the around him. Although Candy is more confident speaking about his own opinion but he still hesitates when saying Purty. Steinbeck uses an ellipsis “purty...but-“Well- she got the eye” Steinbeck uses a pause to remind the readers that he is aware of the fearful consequences he will go through for talking in such a manner about Curley’s wife. As being an oldest person in the ranch he knows a lot more than others so he warned George and Lennie to keep away from that woman as she is very dangerous. He also says that Curley has married a tart. Steinbeck uses the word tart to show that Candy doesn’t think positive about Curley’s wife. He also says that “Slim don’t need to wear no high heeled boots on a grain team”. This suggest that unlike Curley Slim doesn’t need to attract attention he also doesn’t need to act like he is above other people. Steinbeck uses other general phrases to create a conversation between two men, such as Hell of a nice fella this shows that Candy is now much more comfortable when talking to George in his own dialect. After all the conversation Candy asked George “You won’t tell Curley nothing”. This suggests that although he has opened everything up he was still checking that if he can trust George or not. In the final line it says that “He stepped out of the door into the brilliant sunshine”. This could mean that Candy is a good character on the ranch and should be listened to.
In this passage Candy gradually opens to George and Lennie. He doesn’t have enough confidence when he is speaking that why he hesitates continuously when speaking to George. He is a warm and welcoming character that that was one reason why he told everything to secure the friendship with them. When he had drawn a derogatory statement from George. “He felt safe now and spoke more confidently.” Steinbeck uses the adverb safe and confident to tell the reader that Candy always open when he feels that he can trust the person he is speaking to. Like other ranch workers he guard his feeling from the around him. Although Candy is more confident speaking about his own opinion but he still hesitates when saying Purty. Steinbeck uses an ellipsis “purty...but-“Well- she got the eye” Steinbeck uses a pause to remind the readers that he is aware of the fearful consequences he will go through for talking in such a manner about Curley’s wife. As being an oldest person in the ranch he knows a lot more than others so he warned George and Lennie to keep away from that woman as she is very dangerous. He also says that Curley has married a tart. Steinbeck uses the word tart to show that Candy doesn’t think positive about Curley’s wife. He also says that “Slim don’t need to wear no high heeled boots on a grain team”. This suggest that unlike Curley Slim doesn’t need to attract attention he also doesn’t need to act like he is above other people. Steinbeck uses other general phrases to create a conversation between two men, such as Hell of a nice fella this shows that Candy is now much more comfortable when talking to George in his own dialect. After all the conversation Candy asked George “You won’t tell Curley nothing”. This suggests that although he has opened everything up he was still checking that if he can trust George or not. In the final line it says that “He stepped out of the door into the brilliant sunshine”. This could mean that Candy is a good character on the ranch and should be listened to.
I will be ore than happy for any comments
I will be more than happy for any comments.
Original post by Starrstruck
Question: What methods does Steinbeck use in this passage to present Candy? I would really appreciate any feeback and I apologise for the length!
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messages. [What are these impacts? You need to be more specific and through what types of semantic fields help convey Candy in this way?] One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. [Confident interpretations here, but for them to be sophisticated analyse the repeated word, which thus will allow you connect your analysis to your interpretations.] Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.
Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person. [Your analysis of the word "safe" is quite good. However, "reassure(s)" isn't an adjective; it's a verb. Another thing that I have noticed is that your writing style has changed drastically - are you sure this isn't copied?"]
Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person. [This paragraph is okay, in terms of the ideas it's a bit too repetitive, but your interpretation is good. However, when you make an interpretation you need to support it with evidence and you need to analyse the language in much more detail! Once again, your writing style has shifted, so once I finish looking at this, I might just check a phrase, or two, on google.]
In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful. [I might be incorrect here, but I don't think a dog can be "painful."] Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.
Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room. [What does "brilliant sunshine" symbolise? What does "sunshine" symbolise - happiness, which is quite the opposite to what we see in Candy's life?]
Steinbeck uses different methods in this passage to create Candy in order to create a certain impact upon the readers and convey different messages. [What are these impacts? You need to be more specific and through what types of semantic fields help convey Candy in this way?] One of the predominant methods used in the passage is language techniques. Candy repeats "I seen her give Slim the eye" twice to George. Steinbeck deliberately used repition in order to indicate to the readers that Candy is someone who likes to gossip as it is his only form on entertainment. I also think Steinbeck chose for Candy to repeat those particular words because perhaps Candy wanted to get a certain reaction out of George and I also think Candy wanted to emphasize his dislike for Curley's wife. [Confident interpretations here, but for them to be sophisticated analyse the repeated word, which thus will allow you connect your analysis to your interpretations.] Moreover, I think Candy may have repeated his words to perhaps show how happy and excited he is to share his gossip as he has no one else to talk to. This could also imply that Candy's opinions are usually ignores by other ranch men, clearly showing the readers he has a low status on the ranch and is often lonely.
Furthermore, another language device Steinbeck uses in the passage to present Candy is adjectives. There are a variety of them used such as "reassures" and "safe" in order to describe Candy's feelings. The fact that Candy feels "safe" around George implies that he is perhaps hesitant to talk to other ranch men as they usually disrespect him and don't listen to his opinions. This could also suggest that he is a perceptive person when it comes to meeting new people, therefore he immediately feels "reassure" when he's around George because he knows he is a good person. [Your analysis of the word "safe" is quite good. However, "reassure(s)" isn't an adjective; it's a verb. Another thing that I have noticed is that your writing style has changed drastically - are you sure this isn't copied?"]
Als, Steinbeck describes Candy speaking "more confidently" to George which insinuates that he is usually quite shy and closed off from the other ranch men as they don't value his opinions due to his age. This indicates to the readers that Candy has probably felt degraded in the past due to experiences with other men. I think Steinbeck perhaps wanted the readers to feel some sympathy towards him, as they can tell he is a good natured person. [This paragraph is okay, in terms of the ideas it's a bit too repetitive, but your interpretation is good. However, when you make an interpretation you need to support it with evidence and you need to analyse the language in much more detail! Once again, your writing style has shifted, so once I finish looking at this, I might just check a phrase, or two, on google.]
In addition, Steinbeck also uses symbolism in this passage in order to link the similarities of Candy and his dog together. Candy's dog is described as "ancient" and "painful. [I might be incorrect here, but I don't think a dog can be "painful."] Steinbeck purposefully chose to use Candy's dog to symbolise Candy to show the readers that he is old, weak and is often in pain. I also think Steinbeck decided to link Candy and his dog together to indicate to the readers that whatever happens to Candy and his dog's friendship may have a following effect on someone else's friendship such as George and Lennie. Furthermore, I think the adjectives "ancient" and "painfull" further reinforce the point about Steinbeck wanting to create sympathy upon the readers, in order to show how hard life could be for ranch men during the set period.
Also, towards the very end of the extract Candy is described as stepping "out the door into the brilliant sunshine". I think that Steinbeck used Candy's feelings to symbolise the light. The fact that George has actually listened to Candy has made Candy, hence there is "brilliant sunshine" as he steps out of the room. [What does "brilliant sunshine" symbolise? What does "sunshine" symbolise - happiness, which is quite the opposite to what we see in Candy's life?]
What went well:
•
Firstly, you included a range of interpretations, sometimes even multiple interpretations, most of which were supported with textual evidence.
•
You analysed some of the language.
•
The references to symbolism were very good, but could be outstanding if you were to develop them.
How to improve:
•
More language analysis - close language analysis especially!
•
Where's your analysis of the structure - I can't see anything about the structure?
•
You repeat most of your points, which is not something that will make the examiner smile!
•
What's more is that you never develop your points; you simply briefly cover them and go into no detail!
Grade:
Well, an A* candidate would have developed their points thoroughly, made sophisticated and unique interpretations, analysed the language and structure and embedded their quotes stylistically - you didn't achieve this.
An A grade candidate would have developed their points, made sophisticated interpretations analysed the language in huge detail and touched on some structural features (or vice versa) and embedded their quotes to have a great impact - you didn't achieve this!
A B grade candidate would develop most of their points, made confident interpretations all the time, which are supported by textual references, evaluation (with some analysis) of language and/or structural features is assured and quotes are normally embedded - you met some of this, but not all of it!
A C grade candidate would have one or two developed points. In their essay, there is a little bit of repetition and the interpretations made are clear and consistent. There is an evaluation of the language or structure, but this evaluation isn't in depth, but there is clear evidence that the candidate understands the text thoroughly - you met most of this.
Overall, I would say that your piece is a high C.
EDIT: I KNEW THIS WASN'T YOUR WORK! There is no way that someone's writing style can shift so much.
http://www.markedbyteachers.com/gcse/english/what-methods-does-steinbeck-use-in-this-passage-to-present-candy.html
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by kingaaran
What went well:
How to improve:
Grade:
Well, an A* candidate would have developed their points thoroughly, made sophisticated and unique interpretations, analysed the language and structure and embedded their quotes stylistically - you didn't achieve this.
An A grade candidate would have developed their points, made sophisticated interpretations analysed the language in huge detail and touched on some structural features (or vice versa) and embedded their quotes to have a great impact - you didn't achieve this!
A B grade candidate would develop most of their points, made confident interpretations all the time, which are supported by textual references, evaluation (with some analysis) of language and/or structural features is assured and quotes are normally embedded - you met some of this, but not all of it!
A C grade candidate would have one or two developed points. In their essay, there is a little bit of repetition and the interpretations made are clear and consistent. There is an evaluation of the language or structure, but this evaluation isn't in depth, but there is clear evidence that the candidate understands the text thoroughly - you met most of this.
Overall, I would say that your piece is a high C.
EDIT: I KNEW THIS WASN'T YOUR WORK! There is no way that someone's writing style can shift so much.
http://www.markedbyteachers.com/gcse/english/what-methods-does-steinbeck-use-in-this-passage-to-present-candy.html
•
Firstly, you included a range of interpretations, sometimes even multiple interpretations, most of which were supported with textual evidence.
•
You analysed some of the language.
•
The references to symbolism were very good, but could be outstanding if you were to develop them.
How to improve:
•
More language analysis - close language analysis especially!
•
Where's your analysis of the structure - I can't see anything about the structure?
•
You repeat most of your points, which is not something that will make the examiner smile!
•
What's more is that you never develop your points; you simply briefly cover them and go into no detail!
Grade:
Well, an A* candidate would have developed their points thoroughly, made sophisticated and unique interpretations, analysed the language and structure and embedded their quotes stylistically - you didn't achieve this.
An A grade candidate would have developed their points, made sophisticated interpretations analysed the language in huge detail and touched on some structural features (or vice versa) and embedded their quotes to have a great impact - you didn't achieve this!
A B grade candidate would develop most of their points, made confident interpretations all the time, which are supported by textual references, evaluation (with some analysis) of language and/or structural features is assured and quotes are normally embedded - you met some of this, but not all of it!
A C grade candidate would have one or two developed points. In their essay, there is a little bit of repetition and the interpretations made are clear and consistent. There is an evaluation of the language or structure, but this evaluation isn't in depth, but there is clear evidence that the candidate understands the text thoroughly - you met most of this.
Overall, I would say that your piece is a high C.
EDIT: I KNEW THIS WASN'T YOUR WORK! There is no way that someone's writing style can shift so much.
http://www.markedbyteachers.com/gcse/english/what-methods-does-steinbeck-use-in-this-passage-to-present-candy.html
Ok well first of all this is 100% my work, I don't know what's on that website but I would never plagiarise someone else's work. And secondly, didn't you see the date of this post? More than a year ago, I already finished my GCSE English Lit and got an A*....so much for the C grade...
If you got a Grade A* for this piece of coursework your teacher either couldn't mark well, or you tuned-it-up on the day. Well, exact same words on another website would most definitely appear to be plagiarism - wouldn't it?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Help on PQA (Point, Quote, Analysis)
- GCSE English Lit Mice and Men
- where can i find GCSE model exam answers?
- NEED HELP from people who took WJEC English GCSE Of Mice and Men Higher IN 2023
- For those doing iGCSE Edexcel English
- igcse edexcel english lit paper 1
- The Green Mile - Of Mice And Men
- igcse english literature paper1 17th may 2023
- IGCSE English Literature Edexcel
- Edexcel IGCSE English Literature - OMAM
- WJEC GCSE English Language 3rd June 2014 Official Thread
- iGCSE Edexcel English Literature
- OMAM
- Need help quick - GCSE English Lit Of 'Mice and Men'
- Incorrect unit conversion
- english lit a level coursework
- Of Mice and Men essay on Crooks - Please mark
- IGCSE edexcel english literature jan 2023
- only taking core subjects for gsce
- Pearson igcse english literature paper 1 17th may 2023
Latest
Last reply 1 minute ago
Home Office: Immigration Enforcement Casework Support AO 2024Last reply 1 minute ago
Official Cambridge Postgraduate Applicants 2024 ThreadLast reply 3 minutes ago
which unis might accept my unmoderated results?Last reply 5 minutes ago
Turner and Townsend Degree Apprenticeships 2024Last reply 5 minutes ago
NICS Staff Officer and Deputy Principal recruitment 2022 2023Last reply 8 minutes ago
Google level 4 software development apprenticeshipLast reply 9 minutes ago
yet to receive a woodhouse interviewLast reply 10 minutes ago
Stressed about exams? Here are tips to minimise stress and maximise productivityLast reply 10 minutes ago
Woodhouse College applicants 2024Last reply 12 minutes ago
Can you apply for more than one student f?inance loan??Last reply 17 minutes ago
Official: University of Aberdeen A100 2024 Entry ApplicantsLast reply 19 minutes ago
Name a girl's name which starts with the last letter of the above nameForum games
4616
Last reply 20 minutes ago
Official UCL Offer Holders Thread for 2024 entryPosted 20 minutes ago
Do I still need maths in the future even if my university course doesn’t require it?Chat
0
Last reply 22 minutes ago
Manchester computer science foundation year academic assessmentTrending
Last reply 14 hours ago
AQA GCSE English Literature Paper 1 (8702/1) - 13th May 2024 [Exam Chat]Last reply 3 days ago
Edexcel GCSE English Literature Paper 1 (1ET0 01) - 17th May 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 week ago
AQA A-Level English Literature B Paper 2 (7716/2) - 8th June 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 week ago
OCR A-level English Literature Paper 2 (H472/02) - 8th June 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1 (8700/1) - 7th November 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
Please mark my gcse english language paper 2 question 5!!!Last reply 1 month ago
AQA A-level English Language Paper 1 (7702/1) - 25th May 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
AQA A-level English Language Paper 2 (7702/2) - 5th June 2023 [Exam Chat]Trending
Last reply 14 hours ago
AQA GCSE English Literature Paper 1 (8702/1) - 13th May 2024 [Exam Chat]Last reply 3 days ago
Edexcel GCSE English Literature Paper 1 (1ET0 01) - 17th May 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 week ago
AQA A-Level English Literature B Paper 2 (7716/2) - 8th June 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 week ago
OCR A-level English Literature Paper 2 (H472/02) - 8th June 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1 (8700/1) - 7th November 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
Please mark my gcse english language paper 2 question 5!!!Last reply 1 month ago
AQA A-level English Language Paper 1 (7702/1) - 25th May 2023 [Exam Chat]Last reply 1 month ago
AQA A-level English Language Paper 2 (7702/2) - 5th June 2023 [Exam Chat]
