doormat

OP

i know but its really hard to think how to balance it out. hes a great guy and it really is more sensible for me to do it than him. but i dont want to start sliding.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

The housework can be talked about, and sorted out. Just because you do housework doesn't make you a doormat. If it's a good relationship you should be able to sort out who has more time to do what etc.
I think you should be really worried about the public humiliation though. That's not on, and it is serious. If he cares about your feelings at all he should know that kind of talk would upset you and would not do it. Have you asked him about it?

Reply 4

OP

i gave him some space till it all blew over. he was a bit run down and was very sorry afterwards. to be fair it was him that looked bad. everyone was just joking with me. we are good friends so it wasnt the nasty kind of joking but some of it was closer to the mark than they realised and thats what bothered me.

Reply 5

7

It's a very slippery slop... make sure he does his fair share.

P.S. - I hope you live together and aren't cleaning a house which you don't even live in?!

Reply 6

OP

andy_c

It's a very slippery slop... make sure he does his fair share.

P.S. - I hope you live together and aren't cleaning a house which you don't even live in?!

*cringes* house i dont live in. but clean bedding at least is a must and he isnt going to do it!! and i like him to look (and smell) nice so i mite as well throw the rest of his stuff in too rite??

Reply 7

username47781

20

Spell it out to him he does his fair share or he loses you, too many guys are still back in the middle ages when women did anything, bottom line is it's the 21st Century it's not like the middle ages.

Reply 8

OP

Carl1982

Spell it out to him he does his fair share or he loses you, too many guys are still back in the middle ages when women did anything, bottom line is it's the 21st Century it's not like the middle ages.

its not like he makes me do anything. he is the perfect sensitive modern man in many ways. i spose i should just stop doing so much tho and make it clear that i want him to have a few things done by the next time i go over- and teach him to use the microwave and the tv while im at it :rolleyes:

Reply 9

username47781

20

It wouldn't hurt for him to learn lol

Reply 10

7

Anonymous

*cringes* house i dont live in. but clean bedding at least is a must and he isnt going to do it!! and i like him to look (and smell) nice so i mite as well throw the rest of his stuff in too rite??

Once people start avoiding him because he smells, when he gets funny looks and comments from his mates because he doesn't look nice, and when you won't go near his bed because it isn't clean, he'll get the message and he'll start to do more for certain!!

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It's for his own good.

Reply 11

9

rofl tbh i think most men will wash their own clothes but dont care about smelling of mouldy washing, hehe i know mine doesnt. and since when have men had ne dress sense to speak of??? /me waits for dyslexic bannana to read that...

Reply 12

7

[QUOTE=since when have men had ne dress sense to speak of??? /me waits for dyslexic bannana to read that...

Girls hate it when guys generalise, so don’t do it to us!!! :mad:

Unbelievable as it might be, there are some decent guys out there… and some of them even have dress sense!

(And btw, there are also some girls who have NO dress sense!) :biggrin:

Reply 13

Happy1

14

Anonymous

have been going out with my bf for a year now and things r getting very serious. thing is i saw a side of him that i really didnt like the other day. he pretty much acted like the stereotypical male chauvanist pig infront of all our friends. i was so embarassed, especially when people started sympathisising with me. i felt like a total doormat but i didnt want to loose it infront of all our friends. i just joined in the joking and roled my eyes behind his back.

the thing is it made me realise how much housework etc i do for him. i dont think he has done any washing in months. its not that he expects me to do it but i guess i just come from a very patriachal household and have slipped into the role. i also have more time on my hands than he does and if i dont do it he wont either. what do i do? i dont want to nag him because he really doesnt have much spare time, but i dont want to end up being expected to do everything.

i see what youre saying... and i have the EXACT same problem.

You have one realistic option:
Have a serious talk about it and voice your opinion. He WILL change if you loves you. You need to make it clear that you are not there for his convenience and that yo're not his maid. If he wont change or at least help out, you need to think seriously about whether your relationship is worth it... if he wont do anything about itafter a serious talk, he never will. It worked

Reply 14

9

andy_c

Girls hate it when guys generalise, so don’t do it to us!!! :mad:

Unbelievable as it might be, there are some decent guys out there… and some of them even have dress sense!

(And btw, there are also some girls who have NO dress sense!) :biggrin:

ah finding a decent man with dress sense (who isnt gay or taken) could be a lifes quest XD generally speaking they are usually ******s with a good dress sense of decent guys without 1. i have settled for the latter and am quite satisfied with dressing him if the occasion requires it.

that was a joke btw ment for dyslexic bannana cos we keep arguing about the whole male female thing. not ment to be taken seriously. i didnt realise there were so many woman bashers on this forum :tongue:

(A)

Reply 15

7

[QUOTE=i didnt realise there were so many woman bashers on this forum :p (A)

Hey, I'm no woman basher :rolleyes:

... anyone who knows me will testify to that. I said nothing bashful, just defending the male corner!

(And p.s. I do agree with you about some of the things dyslexic bannana has said).

Reply 16

9

andy_c

Hey, I'm no woman basher :rolleyes:

... anyone who knows me will testify to that. I said nothing bashful, just defending the male corner!

(And p.s. I do agree with you about some of the things dyslexic bannana has said).

as a straight woman with friends who r mostly male i think i can quite safely say i have nothing against men but tbh most men do seem top fit the stereotype near enough so im never going to stop taking the piss either. specially when they all seem to get up in arms about it on this forum. i can only assume the need to defend ones manhood stems from the fact that there is very little to defend XD.

Reply 17

7

high priestess fnord

as a straight woman with friends who r mostly male i think i can quite safely say i have nothing against men but tbh most men do seem top fit the stereotype near enough so im never going to stop taking the piss either. specially when they all seem to get up in arms about it on this forum. i can only assume the need to defend ones manhood stems from the fact that there is very little to defend XD.

How wrong can you be?!

I was nice about what I said, just saying don't generalise because all guy's aren't the same, and I get this back... unbelieveable! Some people really do have issues!!

Besides, if I fitted the stereotype, would I have told this girl to stop picking up after her guy? I don't think so!!

Reply 18