Rant: what's wrong with being single?

I've just turned 20 and have been single for about a year and a half. My last relationship was a long term one, and obviously took a long time to get over, but once I got my head sorted it became clear that there are loads of advantages to being single.

There isn't anything wrong with being single just as there isn't anything wrong with being in a relationships but it's the reasons people use to deem it either way that is wrong. I personally would love to have some sort of a relationship as the fact that someone might want me is very strange to me, I just can't see why they would.

Of course it's always great when you find someone you really want to be with and they want to be with you too. It's a fantastic feeling. But to be honest, it's usually something that happens to happy, confident, positive people who live life on their own terms. If you're actively looking for someone, desperate for a boyfriend or girlfriend, and thinking there must be something wrong with you because you're single, then other people will assume there's something wrong with you too. If you learn to be happy and fulfilled on your own, you'll be much more attractive and people will come flocking. But be warned: you might not want them any more!

I dont mean to annoy you (but why a change a habit?).

But theres something about your post that says to me you REALLY want a boyfriend and are just strongly resisting this deep need.

I think its better to be true to what your really want rather than fighting it because you've come up with a logical justification why you should enjoy being single.

fairy - try this - www.colorquiz.com and pm me an tell me what it said about ya.

But theres something about your post that says to me you REALLY want a boyfriend and are just strongly resisting this deep need.

But to be honest, it's usually something that happens to happy, confident, positive people who live life on their own terms

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the Pretty Boy. Much to my dismay.

What? You have to be happy, confident and positive to meet someone? Considering the number of messed up girls I've been with, that's hardly true. I'm even one who's attracted to girls who are not too confident and who are rather complicated. With age, it gets even worse.

I've been with much older girls (should probably call them women), as I've been with much younger girls. Trust me, the older girls are even more bitter and messed up. Simply because they've been messed around so much, have made bad mistakes...

The whole "sex and the city" attitude that girls find so cool and make them think that even if you're heading towards 40, you should still be single and confident is a joke. All those kinds of women are in denial and are really all desperate to meet that special guy.

I did read it. Yeah, but I think you really want a boyfriend IMO.

It sounds like you're trying to look on the bright side.

I appreciate what you saying about the confidence and stuff tho - thats definitely true.

There are so many threads on here about people being depressed and miserable because they don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and because they think they're going to be single forever, and to be honest, it strikes me as a little sad. Have you all forgotten the fact that you're all people in your own right, independent of anybody else?

I've just turned 20 and have been single for about a year and a half. My last relationship was a long term one, and obviously took a long time to get over, but once I got my head sorted it became clear that there are loads of advantages to being single. I'm free to do exactly what I want to with my own time, which means I can see my friends as much as I want. I can muck around with my guy friends without having to worry about whether my boyfriend doesn't like it, and I can go out with a huge group of girlfriends and flirt with anyone I like, just for the sake of it. If I go out or go to a party and end up staying over at someone's house, I can share a bed with a platonic male friend without feeling as though I've been disloyal when I really haven't. I don't have to shave my legs every day. I don't have massive phone bills. I don't have to hang around with someone else's friends, who I might not even like very much, just because they're his friends. If I'm in a bad mood and sulking about something, I don't have someone around to take it personally - in my experience, a boyfriend will assume it's about him, whereas friends will just leave me to it.

Of course it's always great when you find someone you really want to be with and they want to be with you too. It's a fantastic feeling. But to be honest, it's usually something that happens to happy, confident, positive people who live life on their own terms. If you're actively looking for someone, desperate for a boyfriend or girlfriend, and thinking there must be something wrong with you because you're single, then other people will assume there's something wrong with you too. If you learn to be happy and fulfilled on your own, you'll be much more attractive and people will come flocking. But be warned: you might not want them any more!

People always ask me how come I don't have a boyfriend, and I just say I'm happy single. Sure, if the right person came along, I wouldn't hesitate. But even if you do see life as a quest to find a boyfriend or girlfriend (and if you do, I pity you) then at least learn to enjoy the journey, otherwise you'll waste a lot of time wishing things were different, when you could be out having fun. You're only young once. You don't want to look back and realise you wasted it moaning about being single.

Yeah, but you want a boyfriend that meets your standards IMO.

There's nothing wrong with these guys at all. I just don't like them enough. So basically unless I do find someone I like enough, I'm happy to be single. And that's the way it should be. It's not as though I said everyone should be single for their whole lives because being single is better than being in a relationship. But when you are single, you should appreciate it and enjoy it, rather than wishing it away and making yourself unattractive because you're miserable.

Get a Dog.