The Student Room Group

Anyone know, or is friends with a narcisist?


Diagnostic criteria for 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(cautionary statement)
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes





I am friends with one, and hes one of my really good mates. but most of these skills are used in sales... anyone else know one or is friends with one?

in my opinion, theres a lot of stuff in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, that is a load of crap. I'll include ADHD in this as well...

Society/cultural based 'disorders' which sometimes might be seen as antisocial or annoying, but I dont think they're a mental disorder.

for example less that 30years ago, homosexuality was classed as a mental illness, and 100 years ago there were two mental illnesses which only applied only to black people.

one was Dysaesthesia Aethiopis - 'the disease which affects all "free negro's" without a white person to help give them orders.'

and

drapetomania - 'the disease which caused slaves to run away'

AND I bet that the Diagnostic manuel is still full of crap like that.
narccistic personality disorder is one of them.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
I've known some egocentric people but no one diagnosed with this disorder.
Reply 2
No, it's pretty rare isn't it?
Couple of head doctors told me I might have this... Only the fools who are too small minded think of it as a negative. (Btw I'm being serious)
Reply 4
I'm a self-diagnosed narcisist. It started when I realised how much better looking and awesome I was than everyone else. Now I just walk around with a mirror so I don't have to look at ugly people. I'm like Perseus, it stops me turning to stone when I see them. That and I beat them to death with a sword.
Reply 5
That diagnosis sounds like most people to an extent. Don't most people think they're better than others?
Reply 6
puppy
That diagnosis sounds like most people to an extent. Don't most people think they're better than others?


Only the ones who don't suck.
Reply 7
I tick all those boxes to an extent (some more than others), I'm pretty sure everyone does (or thinks they do). Oh and funnily enough, regarding post #5, my mum just scorned me for spending the entire ride home from school staring in the mirror.
Reply 8

yeah we self diagnosed him, but thats my point it does describe most people!
I can't believe you can get locked up, or potentially put on drugs... for something like that... the medical disorder book is stupid.
Reply 9
There was a discussion about this on another message board I go on. Most people will display some symptoms, but people who actually have NPD are far more extreme than you can imagine. Some people there's parents had it, and it was hard for them to live with.

It is hard to diagnose, as people with it think they're right so refuse to go to a doctor or anywhere. They can't see there is any other way of living, and do not acknowledge anyone else's point of view. They can't even say something like "i see that but think X is right", they just dismiss it as nonsense and ignore it.

I personally think that someone I know has got it, but I can't say anything because I know I will suffer if I do. So it's easier to just ignore her.
I knew someone who had it.

I think my dad has it, that or is emotionally abusive. Whatever, I can't wait to move out because its caused me so many mental health problems. I believe that if you have characteristics which stop you from functioning within society then that characterisitc is a mental health issue. Like, with narcissism you might not ever have any friends, or damage your kids, or refuse to be employed by someone (because you are better) and so will always be poor. In that case it would be a disorder (and that would also be an example of my father).
El Scotto

yeah we self diagnosed him, but thats my point it does describe most people!
I can't believe you can get locked up, or potentially put on drugs... for something like that... the medical disorder book is stupid.


Are you sure you want to study psychology?

An inflated ego based on no clear achievements is a mental disorder. You'll find it mostly among some only children who end up being convinced they're special. The whole definition of the disease is based on the fact you're not in touch with reality. If narcissism goes then so does autism and many other disorders.

Getting rid of narcissism doesn't seem like something that is urgent to treat: if someone is convinced they're amazing, then you might as well let them live in that illusion.

I had one friend back in high school, an only child who was badly spoilt (he would litterally insult his parents in front of us to show how big he was). In high school, it wasn't too bad for him. An excessive amount of confidence is a good protection in such an environment. He'd slag pretty much anyone off. But once you get into adulthood, passing important exams, starting a job, reality soon catches up.
Reply 12
SamTheMan
Are you sure you want to study psychology?

An inflated ego based on no clear achievements is a mental disorder. You'll find it mostly among some only children who end up being convinced they're special. The whole definition of the disease is based on the fact you're not in touch with reality. If narcissism goes then so does autism and many other disorders.

Getting rid of narcissism doesn't seem like something that is urgent to treat: if someone is convinced they're amazing, then you might as well let them live in that illusion.

I had one friend back in high school, an only child who was badly spoilt (he would litterally insult his parents in front of us to show how big he was). In high school, it wasn't too bad for him. An excessive amount of confidence is a good protection in such an environment. He'd slag pretty much anyone off. But once you get into adulthood, passing important exams, starting a job, reality soon catches up.


Why would that be more common among only children? We're not all backwards.
Reply 13
SamTheMan
Are you sure you want to study psychology?

An inflated ego based on no clear achievements is a mental disorder. You'll find it mostly among some only children who end up being convinced they're special. The whole definition of the disease is based on the fact you're not in touch with reality. If narcissism goes then so does autism and many other disorders.

Getting rid of narcissism doesn't seem like something that is urgent to treat: if someone is convinced they're amazing, then you might as well let them live in that illusion.

I had one friend back in high school, an only child who was badly spoilt (he would litterally insult his parents in front of us to show how big he was). In high school, it wasn't too bad for him. An excessive amount of confidence is a good protection in such an environment. He'd slag pretty much anyone off. But once you get into adulthood, passing important exams, starting a job, reality soon catches up.



Yes U do, and I totally disagree with you. This isnt in the same bracket as autism, its in the same bracket as how 'homosexuality' was a mental illness 30 years ago, and less than 100 years a go 'drapetomania' was a mental illness. They're social constructs. I dont think this is a disorder... as with the other examples I gave, I think its an 'illness' of time. Lots of the worlds greatest leaders or greatest businessmen could fit into all those catagories.

So called 'personality' disorders are just that. So called.
Reply 14
so, would you think that depression isn't a mental illness? Couldn't that just be socially constructed?

Or learning disabilities, would you call them social constructions?
Reply 15
strange
so, would you think that depression isn't a mental illness? Couldn't that just be socially constructed?

Or learning disabilities, would you call them social constructions?



So far, the only two that are still in the book i've come across (and i havent got that far yet) and dont agree with, is ADHD (in my opinion, a parenting excuse) and narcistic personality disorder...

depressions different, Its debilitating, and learning disabilities are generally genetic. as frag reaper said


fragreaper

Couple of head doctors told me I might have this... Only the fools who are too small minded think of it as a negative. (Btw I'm being serious)



as far as i can see, the 'disorder' just gets on a couple of peoples tits, and those people irritated by the 'doers' in society have decided to label these traits as a negative thing... when some of the greatest entrepeneurs or world leaders could actually be diagnosed with this...
Reply 16
Yes one of my closest friends is a narcissist although he is in serious denial about it.
Reply 17
aronl
Yes one of my closest friends is a narcissist although he is in serious denial about it.



how does he act with it, has he managed to harness it and is using it to his advantage? (as a narcissist would... ? ) or is he using the skills for evil?
Reply 18
El Scotto

how does he act with it, has he managed to harness it and is using it to his advantage? (as a narcissist would... ? ) or is he using the skills for evil?


He's not at all evil he just thinks he is really important and is always concerend abotu what people think of him and stuff he does. If he says/does something rude he doesn't think "oh i shouldn't have said/done that because it was offensive" rather "i shouldn't have said/done that because now they are going to think badly of me."
El Scotto

Yes U do, and I totally disagree with you. This isnt in the same bracket as autism, its in the same bracket as how 'homosexuality' was a mental illness 30 years ago, and less than 100 years a go 'drapetomania' was a mental illness. They're social constructs. I dont think this is a disorder... as with the other examples I gave, I think its an 'illness' of time. Lots of the worlds greatest leaders or greatest businessmen could fit into all those catagories.

So called 'personality' disorders are just that. So called.


Autism is as much a social invention. Without autism, where would civilisation be? Who remembers that author (bugger can't remember her name, could have been Germaine Greer) who pointed out: who do you think invented the wheel? The caveman who was good with the ladies and knew how to hunt skilfully? No, it was the little shy caveman in the dark corner of the cave playing around with his stones and tools, not talking to anyone.

It's not because such traits can have positive aspects that they're disorders any less.

Narcissism can be as much a handicap in the real world than autism is. I'm sure you'll even find studies comparing the two. Narcissism is a total lack of self-awareness. If you can't judge yourself properly and think you're amazing for no clear reason, and can't tell how people see you, then that's a huge handicap in life.