Abuse? Hurt? Annoyed?

My boyfriend and i have been together 3 years this August. I love him deeply, but recently i have been questionning wether i love him more as a friend, rather than the boyfriend i once did, as we got together at such a young age i think i may have changed and we have grown apart.

Anyway, we have quite fiery arguments, a few times they have become physical, nothing major just me either pushing him away from me when he has shouted and maybe the other way round. However, it is never frequent or unprevoked. It has always got to the point where were screaming at each other. Last night we had one of these arguments and he told me to 'get out of his house'. I refused and kept refusing until he tried to drag me out. I pulled back and somehow, (it wasn't deliberate just me refusing to get out basically) fell into his chest of drawers and smacked my head quite hard on it.

He was shocked as i was in tears, and i tried to get away from him. He said a pathetic sorry and i thought this would be the end of the argument. But no, he didn't feel to guilty enough to drop the argument, he said 'i'm sorry it was an accident but you still really pi***d me off, you should apologise' etc. Of course i was fuming and didn't apologise and was so upset, not at the fact i had just falen/been pushed into a chest of drawers but the fact that he wasn't overwhelmed with guilt and sympathy and was still angry at me. I didn't want to drive home in the angry state i was in so he went into his kitchen and i got into his bed and went to sleep. We haven't spoken since, he got up for work and went without saying goodbye, hasn't text me or rang me, even after i text him saying 'Where was my goodbye? Didn't think you'd bother dragging it into another day but obviously i was wrong.'

I love him, but is this a redicuolous relationship? He isn't like this often and other parts of the relationship are brilliant. I'm just, sick of it, arguing and i personally don't think arguments of this sort are acceptable. Anyone else argue like this? I don't seem to be able to let go. Its so easy staying in the relationship my family are close to him, i'm close to his family, its just so convinent, and yes i do love him. But this isn't right! What should i do? Ignore him until he calls me? :frown:

Thanks for any advice. xxx

Reply 1

Hana_87

OP

16

Firebird

How do you get back to normal after the arguments? Me and my boyfriend tend to go straight back to bickering about whatever we were arguing about.

Usually we just end up apologising, hugging and trying to forget about it. Its so annoying though, i'm 18, i want to be out having fun, is this how i want my life to be? NO!!

Thanks for the reply hun.xxxx

Reply 2

Hana_87

OP

16

Firebird

Thanks, I'll try that!

Maybe you should just go out with your friends, I'm guessing after so long together he trusts you going out. If you spend less time together, when you do see each other you really appreciate it. Maybe you should organise to go on holiday together in the summer, getting away from it all seems to help. It doesn't sound like you have real problems and from what you say it sounds like you really do love him and you're only having doubts because of the argument (you say at the start you might only love him as a friend but by the end of the post you're very certain that you love him!). Hope it all works out well, if he won't talk to you and is being a stupid typical boy then just go round there with some pizza or chinese and I'm sure he'll start talking at the offer of free food! Good luck xxx

Thats the thing though, he's not a boy, he's a man, and being rather immature? I just hate not sorting things out it really does wind me up, i'd so much rather just sort everything out!

The main problem is though, the fighting? Pushing me into a chest of drawers!! Ummm.... :confused:

Reply 3

sparkly_tiara

2

In my opinion, if the arguements are all too frequent and leaving you upset, then something is wrong with the relationship. I would have said give it another go if you hadn't of mentioned getting hurt by the chest of drawers... im saying, from experience, that once there is that fear of violence or it happening again then the relationship needs to be ended.

Good luck.

Lou
xxx

Reply 4

Hana_87

OP

16

sparkly_tiara

In my opinion, if the arguements are all too frequent and leaving you upset, then something is wrong with the relationship. I would have said give it another go if you hadn't of mentioned getting hurt by the chest of drawers... im saying, from experience, that once there is that fear of violence or it happening again then the relationship needs to be ended.

Good luck.

Lou
xxx

Yeah that is true, i'm not scared of him, or him hurting me, just frustrated that its happened and ohhhhhh i dunno.

Reply 5

username47781

20

One of you is gonna have to make the first move to talk about whats causing all the arguments lately only you two can sort that out, until you do things are just going to get worse.

Reply 6

Hana_87

OP

16

Carl1982

One of you is gonna have to make the first move to talk about whats causing all the arguments lately only you two can sort that out, until you do things are just going to get worse.

We agree things will change but they never really do

Reply 7

Princess Ella

What a situation-happened to me too-he left me and never called or talked to me again-what's even worse is hat he was my dads best mates son

Reply 8

WokSz

17

I think you both need some time apart to really understand if this relationship is really what you want. It seems like you both love each other immensly, but aren't sure where you lie at the moment. Just my two cents.

Reply 9

username47781

20

Yeah i agree you 2 really need to figure out what you both want, i mean it will be a real shame to throw 3 years down the drain like that.

Reply 10

Little Girl Red

1

Yeah I reckon so too, you need to figure out if this is what you really want, maybe have an unofficial "break" for a while and just figure out whether or not you still want to be with him, whether you actually miss him as a boyfriend when you're apart.

Abuse? Hurt? Annoyed?

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