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Depression causing me to miss school

For over a year and a half I've kinda been depressed, but I figured it was just me, just how I am. I've had suicidal thoughts and have cut my arm last summer. Everything seems to go against me and I never seem good enough for people.

There's a girl who I had a crush on a couple of years back, then I asked her out. She said no, but I think that could be where the depression started. Since then my feelings for her haven't gone away. She started going out with a guy almost a year back. I never liked him, but it first happened at a party at my house and I hate seeing them together. I'm happy for them both, it's not like I want to see them break up or anything, it just kills me when they're together. The thing is, I try not to make it obvious, I try to behave like I'm okay with it.

They were planning a holiday this summer and initially invited me. Then the plans changed and they didn't invite me on the new holiday. I found out it's because they don't want me being there to jeopardise the holiday. The thing is, I had to find this out from someone else, because they never told me. Even though the girl said she really liked me and will really miss me at uni, I get the feeling that she doesn't really want to be around me.

Then last week I had absolutely no desire to go to school and really didn't want to see them. I missed some lessons, and now my parent's have found out because the sixth form secretary phoned them. I am ill today so I used the lie that I was ill last week and it caused me to kill some lessons. I don't think they're buying it.

I don't want to miss school, because I know how important the exams are this summer. I just felt like I had no option last week.

I was wondering if anyone with any experiences like this could give me any words of advice, or comfort! I'm expecting people to say things I don't want to hear, so don't be afraid. Please be honest.

Thanks.

how old are u btw

Anonymous

For over a year and a half I've kinda been depressed, but I figured it was just me, just how I am. I've had suicidal thoughts and have cut my arm last summer. Everything seems to go against me and I never seem good enough for people.

There's a girl who I had a crush on a couple of years back, then I asked her out. She said no, but I think that could be where the depression started. Since then my feelings for her haven't gone away. She started going out with a guy almost a year back. I never liked him, but it first happened at a party at my house and I hate seeing them together. I'm happy for them both, it's not like I want to see them break up or anything, it just kills me when they're together. The thing is, I try not to make it obvious, I try to behave like I'm okay with it.

They were planning a holiday this summer and initially invited me. Then the plans changed and they didn't invite me on the new holiday. I found out it's because they don't want me being there to jeopardise the holiday. The thing is, I had to find this out from someone else, because they never told me. Even though the girl said she really liked me and will really miss me at uni, I get the feeling that she doesn't really want to be around me.

Then last week I had absolutely no desire to go to school and really didn't want to see them. I missed some lessons, and now my parent's have found out because the sixth form secretary phoned them. I am ill today so I used the lie that I was ill last week and it caused me to kill some lessons. I don't think they're buying it.

I don't want to miss school, because I know how important the exams are this summer. I just felt like I had no option last week.

I was wondering if anyone with any experiences like this could give me any words of advice, or comfort! I'm expecting people to say things I don't want to hear, so don't be afraid. Please be honest.

Thanks.

I really feel for you - depression is an awful thing to deal with, because when you are in it, there seems to be no way out.

BUT - depression is an illness from which you can and will recover.

This sounds tacky, but I can recommend a book that has helped me with recurrent bouts of depression, and I promise you it isn't as cheesy as it sounds: it's called "Feeling Good" and it's by David Burns M.D. I got my copy from waterstones for about a fiver and it really was money well spent. It's based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and gives you various tools which will help you to feel better.

Secondly, can you talk to your parents about how you are feeling? Or to a trusted friend? Sharing your feelings with someone you trust really does help.

Let us know how you get on x

Reply 3

Monkey_Maiden

11

Hiya I can relate to your depression, last winter I developed depression due to not fitting in at uni and the stress of a long term relationship. due to it I stopped going to lectures as I couldn't face it and as I missed a few the cycle got worse and I still havn't been to lectures since then :frown:

I know its not the same but try and focus on going, I know you like this girl a lot and hearing from someone else about the hoiliday must have been harsh but you can't let this spoil your furure etc. I'm sure she does mean it when she says she will miss you.
If you everwanna chat PM me :smile:

Sorry I'm not much use

Reply 4

notsoperfect

1

if you are depressed then perhaps you should go to your doctor about it, as they might be able to help you with it.

in terms of missing school, i am personally not depressed, but more completely unmotivated, and it's a bit of a vicous circle. i find that i take a day off every single week, so my attendance must only be 80%ish... just because. i got AAA for AS, and i know i can get it for A2, but i can't seem to get out of the habit of taking days off every week to sleep and watch tv. anyway, what i'm saying is that i hope you don't turn it into a habit, because it's really hard to get out of the habit.

i think you should possibly talk to your doctor about how down you feel, and then try and get into your work. i find that once i get stuck into some coursework, it gets much more interesting and then i become more motivated and perhaps this could work for you. maybe it is also best to avoid your friend and her boyfriend - do you really want to risk messing up your a-levels over a girl? if you did, you'd really kick yourself in years to come.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

papz_007

how old are u btw

I'm 17

spacedonkey

I really feel for you - depression is an awful thing to deal with, because when you are in it, there seems to be no way out.

BUT - depression is an illness from which you can and will recover.

This sounds tacky, but I can recommend a book that has helped me with recurrent bouts of depression, and I promise you it isn't as cheesy as it sounds: it's called "Feeling Good" and it's by David Burns M.D. I got my copy from waterstones for about a fiver and it really was money well spent. It's based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and gives you various tools which will help you to feel better.

Secondly, can you talk to your parents about how you are feeling? Or to a trusted friend? Sharing your feelings with someone you trust really does help.

Let us know how you get on x

Thanks, considering going to Waterstone's on Saturday. Any idea where to look? I never go to bookshops!

The thing is my parents wouldn't understand. Their attitude to anyone who says they're depressed is just "oh get over it" and that's the worst thing I could hear them say. My friends seem to not want me around except one guy who's been talking to me recently and trying to encourage me to go to the doctor about this. I was at the doctor this morning cos I have earache, and I was so close to saying something to him, but I bottled it. I'm not sure anyone understands (none of my friends I've ever spoken about this to do) but I just can't trust someone who I don't know, even a doctor or therapist, when talking about personal feelings like that.

The friend I've spoken to suggests I should cut them out. I was thinking that if I don't talk to her, maybe I won't like her anymore, even though I'm angry at her anyway. I kinda messed my GCSEs up because of her. I dropped a grade in half my subjects. And yes, I am kicking myself for that, even though it doesn't really matter anymore, all that matters is my exams this summer.

Reply 6

Juno

20

spacedonkey

I really feel for you - depression is an awful thing to deal with, because when you are in it, there seems to be no way out.

BUT - depression is an illness from which you can and will recover.

This sounds tacky, but I can recommend a book that has helped me with recurrent bouts of depression, and I promise you it isn't as cheesy as it sounds: it's called "Feeling Good" and it's by David Burns M.D. I got my copy from waterstones for about a fiver and it really was money well spent. It's based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and gives you various tools which will help you to feel better.

Secondly, can you talk to your parents about how you are feeling? Or to a trusted friend? Sharing your feelings with someone you trust really does help.

Let us know how you get on x

Looking on Amazon there's quite a few different books called feeling good by david burns. Do you know which yours is?

Reply 7

notsoperfect

1

i think you should definitely go to your doctor. it's good that you were close to saying it, perhaps next time you will be able to? i don't really know anything about depression, but maybe it is causing you to feel that your friends don't want you around. if you get help from your doctor you could feel so much more positive about everything.

Reply 8

spacedonkey

2

Thanks, considering going to Waterstone's on Saturday. Any idea where to look? I never go to bookshops!

I know this is cringeworthy but look in the pop psychology/self-help section.

The thing is my parents wouldn't understand. Their attitude to anyone who says they're depressed is just "oh get over it" and that's the worst thing I could hear them say.

You're right, that's not what you need to hear right now, and it doesn't help at all. However, if you don't try, you don't know - they might be more understanding than you think ...

My friends seem to not want me around except one guy who's been talking to me recently and trying to encourage me to go to the doctor about this. I was at the doctor this morning cos I have earache, and I was so close to saying something to him, but I bottled it. I'm not sure anyone understands (none of my friends I've ever spoken about this to do) but I just can't trust someone who I don't know, even a doctor or therapist, when talking about personal feelings like that.

Your friends are probably picking up on how low you feel, and it can be difficult to be around someone who is depressed. Try not to feel bad about this - I'm sure they still love you, it's just they don't know what to say or how to help.

The one guy who has encouraged you to see the doc sounds like he probably does understand what's going on with you. I fully understand how difficult it is to talk to a complete stranger about how you feel, but I promise you that if you do, he/she will understand, will not tell you "just get over it", and will do what they can to help you. Think about doing this if you continue to feel as low as you are now for much longer. You don't have to tell your parents.

Re: therapists/counsellors - again, it seems impossible to think of talking about such personal things to a complete stranger, but weirdly once you are there, it is surprisingly easy - in fact it is easier because they are a stranger.

The friend I've spoken to suggests I should cut them out. I was thinking that if I don't talk to her, maybe I won't like her anymore, even though I'm angry at her anyway. I kinda messed my GCSEs up because of her. I dropped a grade in half my subjects. And yes, I am kicking myself for that, even though it doesn't really matter anymore, all that matters is my exams this summer.

It might be less painful for you if you decide to keep your distance from her until you are feeling better and stronger. You don't have to be nasty about it at all - be friendly, but for your own sanity keep your distance.

Reply 9

spacedonkey

2

Here's the link to the book on amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0380810336/

Reply 10

713

2

my experience with going to the gp was that he called social services who informed half of my teachers as well as my parents. except that, nothing really happened so in my opinion do not bother about seeing a doctor.

Reply 11

spacedonkey

2

713

my experience with going to the gp was that he called social services who informed half of my teachers as well as my parents. except that, nothing really happened so in my opinion do not bother about seeing a doctor.

That is dreadful :frown:

How old were you though? I doubt they'd do that with a 17 yr old.

Reply 12

Juno

20

spacedonkey

Here's the link to the book on amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0380810336/

Thanks!

Reply 13

Sarky

18

713

my experience with going to the gp was that he called social services who informed half of my teachers as well as my parents. except that, nothing really happened so in my opinion do not bother about seeing a doctor.

Thats horrible and i'm sorry that happened to you. However a GP should not contact anyone about your case unless they are very worried about your safety. Even if they do they should always tell you of their intentions. I have never experienced that happening and for the vast majority of people that isn't a problem. It is against the law for a doctor to break confidentiality without very good reason.

Reply 14

713

2

i am 15. your are right.they would probably not do it with a 17 yr old.
i was already told "...if you would only be 16.."
makes me even more angry i did not put i was 16/17 on the registration card of the surgery.. :smile:

Reply 15

K@

1

Anonymous

For over a year and a half I've kinda been depressed, but I figured it was just me, just how I am. I've had suicidal thoughts and have cut my arm last summer. Everything seems to go against me and I never seem good enough for people.

There's a girl who I had a crush on a couple of years back, then I asked her out. She said no, but I think that could be where the depression started. Since then my feelings for her haven't gone away. She started going out with a guy almost a year back. I never liked him, but it first happened at a party at my house and I hate seeing them together. I'm happy for them both, it's not like I want to see them break up or anything, it just kills me when they're together. The thing is, I try not to make it obvious, I try to behave like I'm okay with it.

They were planning a holiday this summer and initially invited me. Then the plans changed and they didn't invite me on the new holiday. I found out it's because they don't want me being there to jeopardise the holiday. The thing is, I had to find this out from someone else, because they never told me. Even though the girl said she really liked me and will really miss me at uni, I get the feeling that she doesn't really want to be around me.

Then last week I had absolutely no desire to go to school and really didn't want to see them. I missed some lessons, and now my parent's have found out because the sixth form secretary phoned them. I am ill today so I used the lie that I was ill last week and it caused me to kill some lessons. I don't think they're buying it.

I don't want to miss school, because I know how important the exams are this summer. I just felt like I had no option last week.

I was wondering if anyone with any experiences like this could give me any words of advice, or comfort! I'm expecting people to say things I don't want to hear, so don't be afraid. Please be honest.

Thanks.

Sending

I too can relate; I had depression for a number of years-I won't go into why although it's similar to yours.

All the advice people have given above has pretty much hit the nail on the head and I don't think I can add much more but sometimes little things help. I have a little book of calm (from the 'little book' series) a friend gave to me when she left for uni and I was suffering from depression. It's full of things to do to be calm bascally but it's got a really cute front cover and whenever I even lok at it I think of how I was then and how I am now and how much I've changed and how much my friends helped me. That alone makes me realise that I've come along way and I hope you realise too that it is, as people have said, an illness and you do recover.

I did go on anti-depressants but I don't believe they worked but I know they work for others. You don't HAVE to go on them. Personally, I wish I hadn't and instead gone on to the medication I'm on now and will be for a while but it's in the past now.

Can't really say anymore, apart from you'll be ok. It's hard to believe but you really will be fine.

Sending more :hugs:

, there's always help at hand. :smile:

Reply 16

713

2

in case of the safety,yes i know that it's about the 'risk', the doctor treated me as if he was thinking i was just gonna kill myself every next second (what a nonesense) but the person who should actually help me is telling me that she is not sure if it's not just a 'teenage mood'.

Reply 17

xXMessedUpXx

15

I've missed a lot of uni recently cos of my depression. I had it before my GCSE's and ever since, however my parents made it somewhat difficult for miss to miss school back then. Personally i've find it amazing hard when i'm down to summon the motivation to get into uni and do the work. I know its important, but depression can make even seemingly simple things harder.

As has been said, depression is an illness, and nobody expects you to have to hide it and battle it alone. You are allowed to seek help. A doctor perhaps? At least that way you have the medical side of things which could halp explain things to your parents and school. Speaking of which most school have some counseling services, so in your case i would advise talking to a tutor, or possibly your head of year. The way the must see it now is that you are just skipping school, but they need to know why. If its really affecting your studies you may find that you will be eligible for help when it comes to exams/coursework.

Don't be afraid of approaching someone, i know that perhaps right now you feels its just "you" but from the sounds of it it isn't. They will have encountered depression before, and should have sufficient knowledge to be able to offer you the help you need.

Good luck in trying to sort this out, and i wish you well. Just rememebr you aren't alone, there are others in the same situation, and most importantly of all, depression can be treated (meds, counselling, better coping methods) and you will recover one day. :hugs:

Reply 18

xXMessedUpXx

15

spacedonkey

That is dreadful :frown:

How old were you though? I doubt they'd do that with a 17 yr old.

Technically, if the person seeking help is under 16, then they are a mnor, and in certain cases the GP has a responsibilty to inform parents/carers, and they are by law the ones in charge of the childs welfare. Though please don't that put anyone off as it isn't always the case, and in many cases depends on the severity of the case in question.

I do rememebr that when i was offered counselling by my school when i was 15, they ahd to had my parents permision. So i think its a lot to do with the age of consent and being a minor.

Reply 19

guitargirl03

13

I really feel for you. I have been diagnosed with depression, and I'm now on anti-depressants, and it's horrible. I felt that I was all alone, and so I turned to self-harm to try and 'escape' my problems... I urge you to talk to someone, preferably your GP, as they could refer you to a counsellor (which really helps) or for other treatments.

Don't be afraid to talk to someone, and, I know it's easy to say, but when you feel like harming youself, just stop and think for a second about what could happen if you cut yourself.

*huggles*

Depression causing me to miss school

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