Parents, Self-esteem and school

Sorry im going all anon here but knowing me im going to regret this "whinge", and realise there a much huger problems out there.

Im "whinging" as im finding life in general pretty stressful now and i dont know what to do, normally id talk to my bf, but hes going through so much now - his dad has just died, his schoolwork is going badly, he might not be able to afford uni - so i dont want to make things worse for him by showing him how unhappy i am, i just want to be there for him and make him happy he needs it so much more.
My parents buisness went bust a few years back so weve been having alot of financial problems and were living in a place we cant afford to just because of me and my brothers but all they seem to do is take it out on us really badly, snapping at us constantly, and im petrified of my dads temper, since we was violent in our arguments when i was growing up, icant ven talk to him anymore when we used to be so close up until i was 15 and they realised i wasnt the perfect girl they wanted. Even talking to my mum about her helping me with a safe diet, she yells at me despite knowing that at this rate i could end up relapsing and getting worse.
It doesnt help im trying to get over an eating disorder and trying to get into a uni which the grades are so high and they keep pressuring me so much saying im their last hope and i cant take it. Its left me not performing as well at school and my grades have dropped and my coursework is piling up but ive lost my motivation, i crumble under stress.Im not allowed to take the gap year ive wanted for years to volunteer in asia (which i was paying for) because theyve refused as my brother said he was taking a gap year and never went to uni and i dont see the point. If they start on me im just crumbling to tears because theyve worn me down so much over pathetic things like my diet, not getting perfect grades and my friends - were not getting along as i feel ive outgrown them, they havent matured and we have so little in common now, so im getting frustrated and hurting them, which makes me feel worse.

I know these seem like normal petty problems thats why im going anon, im just not coping with stress - i never have been able to - and it would help knowing im a drama queen or that people have similar problems. Or even how i could help make things better for my boyfriend or my parents.

Thanks for reading, i jus needed to get that out - its such a long post its crazy, sorry guys x x x