The Student Room Group

self esteem stuff

so I've always been a really self confident person... I have great friends, family, academics, etc. However, recently I've just been feeling REALLY down on myself. Like I feel ugly and stupid... and l find myself really comparing myself to other girls, like "I wish I was pretty like her"... I never used to be like this. I also feel really hopeless with guys... like I'll never be pretty enough or good enough. I had a really hard break up that I think messed me up... I don't know... what can I do to make myself feel better?
Reply 1
Are you at uni? Most of the universities have counsellors for this sort of issue, and some Student Unions run general events such as boosting your self esteem talks...
Reply 2
Think positive.
Reply 3
Ferrus
Are you at uni? Most of the universities have counsellors for this sort of issue, and some Student Unions run general events such as boosting your self esteem talks...
no, last year at college, I'm going to uni next year.
Reply 4
How about, you come down to where i live, we go out and get drunk, make yourself feel real better about yourself. All you need is a night out with Markus and his crew.
Reply 5
Markus Angelsdaughter
How about, you come down to where i live, we go out and get drunk, make yourself feel real better about yourself. All you need is a night out with Markus and his crew.

:biggrin: maybe i should take you up on that. all kidding aside... I don't know what's up with me... I have fun with my friends, and I've always been a generally "happy, pretty, popular" (that sounds awful... but you get the idea). But now... gah, I feel like *****.
Reply 6
ladygrey
:biggrin: maybe i should take you up on that. all kidding aside... I don't know what's up with me... I have fun with my friends, and I've always been a generally "happy, pretty, popular" (that sounds awful... but you get the idea). But now... gah, I feel like *****.


Prob just a phase. I mean, somthing really good will come up and you'll forget about all the comparing yourself to other girls malark
Reply 7
Markus Angelsdaughter
Prob just a phase. I mean, somthing really good will come up and you'll forget about all the comparing yourself to other girls malark

hope so... it sucks... i have never felt this bad about myself.
Reply 8
Don't feel bad about yourself sweety pie. Seriously, its no good. Be happy for who you are and dont give a toss about what others think of you and all that stuff.
Reply 9
If it's you're last year of college, it could have something to do with the stress. The breakup probably won't have helped either.

I think the best thing to do is to go out with your mates and have a laugh, to a) cheer you up, and b) remind you that you're ace and that's why they're friends with you.

Don't be too harsh on yourself, and good luck!
Reply 10
Krysia
If it's you're last year of college, it could have something to do with the stress. The breakup probably won't have helped either.

I think the best thing to do is to go out with your mates and have a laugh, to a) cheer you up, and b) remind you that you're ace and that's why they're friends with you.

Don't be too harsh on yourself, and good luck!

aww thanks
Reply 11
What you really want to do is validate yourself by gaining respect on an Internet forum. That always helps.
Reply 12
I know it's not much, but the good thing is that although you feel like this about yourself, and you feel awful, I know, but you realise that it's not justified. You want to feel better, which is the best way to feel, like you know you don't deserve to feel this bad.

I agree with Krysia, its probably the stress academically, and the break up that is making you feel like this. Everyone does at some time in their life. What's important is that you don't give up, and you carry on fighting this. You'll get through this feeling and you'll come ut stronger and more confident. :smile:
Reply 13
2 5 +
What you really want to do is validate yourself by gaining respect on an Internet forum. That always helps.

i can't decide whether you're being mean or not :rolleyes:
ladygrey
Like I feel ugly and stupid... and l find myself really comparing myself to other girls, like "I wish I was pretty like her"... I never used to be like this. I also feel really hopeless with guys... like I'll never be pretty enough or good enough. I had a really hard break up that I think messed me up... I don't know... what can I do to make myself feel better?


We all get this from time to time. Unfortunately I was actually bullied at school for being "ugly", so I began scrutinising myself in the mirror and hating my appearance. It's took a hell of a long time to reverse this, but the way I control it now is to look in the mirror and find positive features. Like I'll think "I have nice eyes" or "I have full lips", etc.

Instead of feeling down when I see pretty girls I start to glance at how they hold themselves and what makes them look good, like their clothing, hair and makeup, etc, and then make a mental note of it and then try and implement it the next time I practice with makeup or whatever.

It's not vain. I don't love myself or anything. It's actually took me a long time to condition myself to look in the mirror without instantly thinking "URGH!". It takes time, but it'll be well worth it. Learn to like yourself again. :smile:
Reply 15
Comparing yourself to others is the quickest way to unhappiness.

Why do you think guys gaze trancelike at the wall in front of them when using open urinals :smile:
Reply 16
2 5 +
What you really want to do is validate yourself by gaining respect on an Internet forum. That always helps.


:laugh:

But seriously, it's because the year before uni is always pretty crap, you'll feel much better next year.