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They have cut me out of their friend group, and are trying to ruin my home-to-be! Watch

    • Thread Starter

    Just so you know this is a bit long as I am explaining events leading up to this point and some of what has now started going on! It's a bit muddled I do apologise but if you have any advice on this situation please offer it, I'm at my wits end!!!

    Just to make this easier I am labelling people involved as Friend A and B

    I became good, close friends with Friend A just over half a year ago, friend A and friend B used to hang out a lot but friend B stopped bothering with him.

    Friend B has some unresolved issues with me spanning about two years which for whatever reason she won't discuss with me (I have tried everything from directly asking her to gently bringing it up all I get is "I don't have a problem with you" long story short its obvious she does, everyone notices!)

    I have a bad past with Friend B, and to be honest we weren't really friends she was always quite horrible to me, and at one point we were in a situation where we lived together she'd do things to make me feel uncomfortable in my own home. She extended this behaviour to my boyfriend. We never retaliated as she was my boyfriends, best-friends girlfriend.

    Eventually when she moved out we stopped bothering with her unless she came out with my boyfriends friend. ANYWAY

    When me and Friend A had hung out for a while I realised she didn't really have anything going on, so I decided everyone deserves a second chance, and invited her to join us. Very quickly Friend B began constantly arranging to hang out with friend A and very soon I found that I wasn't being invited to join them anymore, I have tried to approach friend A with the matter but he is always with Friend B, and she has a habit of taking over the use of his phone when she thinks I'm texting him about these things.

    I last tried to raise the issue of why I'd been cut out but they both ganged up on me and tried to blame the fact that I was rehearsing regularly for a show I was in while they were unemployed so I was never free (something I pointed out wasn't true and if they'd just asked then they'd know when I was free, that got disregarded though). Then they blamed the fact that they didnt have money to hang out with me, (I explained again that doesn't explain why they can afford to go to the cinema and eat out and hang out in the town which is 10 mins from my house, again ignored)

    In the end I gave up and told them just to forget I was raising an issue, I got told by friend A that if I want to hang out just to text him, but he's ignored me since that day. So I have pretty much accepted that I've been cut out of this friend group. But I don't understand why, I haven't done anything wrong!!

    To make matters worse they have both found out that myself and my boyfriend are moving in with this cool guy, since finding out they have been all over him, constantly around our new house (which we are moving into at the end of this week). They are trying to arrange weekly nights where they go over and do things which my boyfriend and I don't like (Friend B had the cheek to tell me to think again if I thought us living there too was going to stop that!). I was really looking forward to moving into my new home until this all kicked off, especially considering they are ignoring me now!.
    We started taking our stuff over to the new house a couple of weeks ago and on our last visit found that they had detuned all the guitars and insturments we had taken over with us. (Our housemate didn't realise it had happened as our room has two sofa beds in for guests atm he did apologise and has stopped people going in since)

    But it's things like that, because of them I am now dreading moving into this new place as my new housemate doesn't have any idea of what these people are actually like, and if I told him I doubt he'd believe me as from what he's told us they do all these nice things for him when they go over (which they never did when they used to stay at mine).

    So there we have it, I have been cut out of a friend group for reasons I don't know and now they are trying to wreck havock on mine and my boyfriends new life, I don't know what to do or how to approach the situation now. If anyone has any ideas then please let me know! I know the fact that all this is bothering me is letting them win, but it is and I just don't know what to do anymore!!

    Maybe get your boyfriend to talk to your new housemate? It sounds like A and B don't really have an issue with your boyfriend, so if he said something to your new housemate, it won't sound like you're making it up for the sake of it and he may believe it more.

    If not, I think you just need to talk to A and B and tell them how they are basically trying to bully you, what with the silliness of doing stupid things like detuning your instruments. It's unnecessary and childish and if they don't stop, then just try and get proof of what they're doing and show your housemate. Or talk to A and B while he's in the room and bring up some past events. At the end of the day, surely the housemate should side more with you as you knew him first and if he's sees how upset you get around them, he might believe what he's been told.

    Ahh, I don't really have much advice, sorry, but just stay strong and ignore A and B. If you ignore them, then I don't think they really can effect you too much. Good luck
    • Thread Starter

    Thank you for your advice Midnight, unfortunately I have already tried speaking to A and B directly but it hasn't done anything, unfortunately they knew my housemate before I did, though they were never friends with him until they found out I was moving in with him.

    I am just taking the ignoring any childish behaviour tactic, I am sure it will become obvious if they do try anything to make us uncomfortable.

    I was hoping that at 20 years old I wouldn't have these kinds of childish problems especially from a 21 year old and a 19 year old. :/

    In my opinion if they are acting like this, you deserve better.
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Updated: May 2, 2012
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