This discussion is closed.
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#1
a joke for ya

The smart blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
0
....
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 16 years ago
#2
Hehe good one
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#3
(Original post by Gimp)
Hehe good one
thanks
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#4
heres another for ya (not as funny tho but tru)

Romance Mathematics and other such things
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
0
_EMMA_
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#5
Report 16 years ago
#5
(Original post by lumpycustard)
a joke for ya


The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
so he answered right in the end, but i don't understand the answer??
0
....
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#6
Report 16 years ago
#6
heh are you blonde? :P
0
_EMMA_
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#7
Report 16 years ago
#7
(Original post by Gimp)
heh are you blonde? :P
nope, brunettes can also be stupid
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#8
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#8
(Original post by _EMMA_)
so he answered right in the end, but i don't understand the answer??
he didnt no they answer. she made the wuestion up to get $50. so wen he asked her what the answqer is she didnt no did she? and gave him $5. so she made $40 outa him. (and im blonde)
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#9
*baby sad talk* guess no one found dem funny den
0
ruthiepoothie
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#10
Report 16 years ago
#10
(Original post by lumpycustard)
*baby sad talk* guess no one found dem funny den
he he he he he he
(just read first post)
lumpycusturd is the best, she is better than all the rest!!
im gonna start a lumpycusturd fan club...
0
....
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#11
Report 16 years ago
#11
I did but I cant post every time you make me laugh
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#12
(Original post by ruthiepoothie)
he he he he he he
(just read first post)
lumpycusturd is the best, she is better than all the rest!!
im gonna start a lumpycusturd fan club...
:eek: im loved! wooo! my own fan club! *dances aorund the room doin the conga* who wants to join in?!?!
0
rIcHrD
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#13
Report 16 years ago
#13
(Original post by lumpycustard)
heres another for ya (not as funny tho but tru)

Romance Mathematics and other such things
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
ROFL - oh so true!!!
0
Cate
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#14
Report 16 years ago
#14
(Original post by lumpycustard)
a joke for ya

The smart blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Hehehe! Very amusing! Can't say I know any blondes that would be that intelligent, but...
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#15
(Original post by Cate)
Hehehe! Very amusing! Can't say I know any blondes that would be that intelligent, but...
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: well! im just offended now!

0
Cate
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#16
Report 16 years ago
#16
(Original post by lumpycustard)
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: well! im just offended now!

Are you blonde?! Sorry! I didn't know!
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#17
(Original post by Cate)
Are you blonde?! Sorry! I didn't know!
mmm yea whatever! i had only mentioned in a post above i am blonde! u did it on purpose!!!!!!!

i propse that everyon in this threa or even forum throws custard and cream pies at cate!!!!!

hehehehe
0
Cate
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#18
Report 16 years ago
#18
(Original post by lumpycustard)
mmm yea whatever! i had only mentioned in a post above i am blonde! u did it on purpose!!!!!!!

i propse that everyon in this threa or even forum throws custard and cream pies at cate!!!!!

hehehehe
Oh yeah, so you did! Sorry, I didn't see it! Please, stop with the custard and cream pies!
0
DazYa
Badges:
#19
Report 16 years ago
#19
lol good joke
0
lumpycustard
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#20
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#20
(Original post by Cate)
Oh yeah, so you did! Sorry, I didn't see it! Please, stop with the custard and cream pies!
*throws a thousand cream pies*

ah, i think that shud do.

0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How do you feel about your grades? Are they...

What I expected (172)
24.86%
Better than expected (144)
20.81%
Worse than expected (376)
54.34%

Watched Threads

View All