Sexual Compatibility

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warranty-ideal
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How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.
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jointhedots
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(Original post by fragreaper)
How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.
Very. If one of you wants sex a lot more than the other then one of you is probably going to end up feeling either frustrated, or pressured and used.

Sex isn't and shouldn't be the most important thing in a relationship, but for most people it is a fairly big part. I think it's essential that you're both on a similar kind of level about it, otherwise it's going to lead to all sorts of arguments.
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pendragon
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(Original post by fragreaper)
How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.
Essential. But you dont have to be naturally compatible, you can become more compatible by practicing loads and loads and overcoming any physical problems you might have. However, I think that if one of you has a very strong fetish that the other is not willing to act on then that definitely spells trouble for your future. At the end of the day, you can overcome some problems, but you both have to feel sexually satisfied, without some essential part of your sexuality neglicted.
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Fleece
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Essential also. I was in a long term relationship where the sex sort of disappeared (for various reasons) and it put an ENORMOUS strain on our relationship. In the end we became just like friends and contributed to us splitting up.
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Monkey_Maiden
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Very important I think, in my last realtionship we were kinda compatible but I had a much higher sex drive than my bf and he felt pressured a lot and I felt frustrated, not good
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warranty-ideal
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(Original post by Monkey_Maiden)
Very important I think, in my last realtionship we were kinda compatible but I had a much higher sex drive than my bf and he felt pressured a lot and I felt frustrated, not good
Was that something that contributed to the end of the relationship? .. If you don't mind me asking?
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Monkey_Maiden
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Thinking on it, it could have contributed to the breakup as it was long distance anyway so when he came to visit me at uni I kinda wanted sex a lot more than him, which made him angry and annoyed but I couldn't help it although the main reason we split was due to long distance and his job pressure
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joeybee
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(Original post by fragreaper)
How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.
As long as each of the partners is very open and frank with each other about sex then it will work out, commonication is one of the most important things in a relationship. Personally i find i have a much higher sex drive than my boyfriend, and this is sometimes frustrating for us both, but sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship and we are each sensitive to each others needs. we have been together now for two and a half years, are engaged and still going strong. So i wouldn't say sexual compatability is the most important thing.
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XavierTroy
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Well it is the age old stereotype in question really. Man wants sex, woman says she is tired. We all know it isn't quite as black and white as that but the important thing is that you are somewhat on the same wavelength. No one wants sex all the time, and therefore you are always going to have times when one of the two don't want it. I think for me, this initially was hard anf frustrating, but you come to accept it and give the other person their space and it doesn;t become a huge problem. Just because on certain occasions you don't have sex doesn't mean you can't create oppertunities and make time for it. Sex cannot be the main issue in a relationship, it can only spell trouble, you have to vaguely have the same drive, but as others have said, compromise is always needed and can help.
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jointhedots
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But in that case they clearly are pretty compatible with their partners - neither of them want sex that much. Not all people settle down like that when they get into a long term relationship and if one half of the couple did want a lot of sex, then they would be in trouble.
Last edited by RK; 2 months ago
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pendragon
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(Original post by joeybee)
As long as each of the partners is very open and frank with each other about sex then it will work out, commonication is one of the most important things in a relationship. Personally i find i have a much higher sex drive than my boyfriend, and this is sometimes frustrating for us both, but sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship and we are each sensitive to each others needs. we have been together now for two and a half years, are engaged and still going strong. So i wouldn't say sexual compatability is the most important thing.
Im annoyed to hear two girls who have higher sex drives than their boyfriends, mostly its the other way around, and I cant really complain because I get a lot of sex from my girfriend, and I dont think she feels pressured, but Id still like more!
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pendragon
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Another point is that sexual compatability is not just about a mismatch of sex drives.

There can also be physical incompatibilty problems, conected with mismatched genitalia, even when neither deviates particularly from the norm.

And there is also the question of sexual interests, desires, fetishes and fantasies. These can be central to some peoples sex drives, and sexual fullfillment. See the film secretary if you dont know what I mean, you will enjoy it
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El Scotto
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(Original post by fragreaper)
How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.

Why do you ask... ?

for me, Its incredibly important... I should expect it is for everyone else too.

I've got friends to be non sexually compatible with whome I'll spend time being friends with for a very long time... lol
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El Scotto
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(Original post by XavierTroy)
Well it is the age old stereotype in question really. Man wants sex, woman says she is tired.


I couldnt imagine a girl making excuses like that.

if you're good enough, she'll only ever be tired after :eek:
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pendragon
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(Original post by El Scotto)

I couldnt imagine a girl making excuses like that.

if you're good enough, she'll only ever be tired after :eek:
If we stay up till 1am I generally get that answer.
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El Scotto
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(Original post by pendragon)
If we stay up till 1am I generally get that answer.

Ya should try keeping whatever patented moves that she really likes in reserve for that eventuality!
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pendragon
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(Original post by El Scotto)

Ya should try keeping whatever patented moves that she really likes in reserve for that eventuality!
She doesnt let me turn her on too much at that stage, if she agrees to have sex she will just let me have a quickie.
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El Scotto
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(Original post by pendragon)
She doesnt let me turn her on too much at that stage, if she agrees to have sex she will just let me have a quickie.

Well thats alright, nothing wrong with that lol : )
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The Crow
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(Original post by fragreaper)
How important do you think it is, to be sexually compatible with a long term partner? Someone you could really see yourself with for a long time.
what do you mean exactly?!?!?!?
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