Where to draw the line

I know there are rules as to dating exs' friends and friends' exes, and i don't know what to do.
I've liked this guy for at least a year, but 6 months ago, a friend of mine asked him out, and so they've been going out. He broke up with her 3 weeks ago, and now he's asked me out! i don't know what to do. i really really like him, and I have for so long, and everytime i saw them together my stomache just dropped, but I don't know how to ask her if thats ok, and what our other friends will think. we always said we wouldn't go out with people we both liked unless the the other person said it was ok, and she didn't know I liked him...
I just wish I could say yes but is that crossing the line? Will she hate me forever?
Help!

Reply 1

username47781

20

It would certainly be awkward between you and your friend, but face it the guy who asked you out hes not with your friend no more, just also depends what their relationship was like because maybe if she finds out that you are with him she might say some stuff to put you off whether it's true or not.

Reply 2

username39618

1

Intense

Will she hate me forever?
Help!

Ah-harrrr, aye, depends on how mature she is.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

things will get very messy if you go out with him. theres plenty of other guys in the world, why go out with ur mates x? unless u secretly want to hurt her for hurting u when u went she went out with him. the way i see it is u wont be happy with him if u get together by hurting someone else. i wouldnt even respect the guy for asking you out ur his ex's mate. things will get really messy with friends. if u really do like hm and feel its worth it then go for it, but be prepared for the consequnces. if u wanna go out with him then its best to tell ur mate first.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Anonymous

why go out with ur mates x? unless u secretly want to hurt her for hurting u when u went she went out with him. .

sorry i meant 'for hurting u when she went out with him.'

Reply 5

El Scotto

15

Going with mates ex's is just lazy and in bad taste.

Reply 6

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

3 weeks is kinda soon. Is she upset about him finishing with he? If she's over him then I don't think you're doing anything wrong, although for courtesy I'd mention it to her before she finds out from someone else (and stress he did the asking!!)

Otherwise I'd steer clear if she's cut up about it...for now anyway. I'm sure he'll understand your loyalty to her and it doesn't have to be forever, just longer than 3 weeks!

Reply 7

ChemistBoy

16

There are no rules for this so you have to do what you want to do - however that means taking responsibility for the fall out. It is pretty obvious that you will lose a friend if you start seeing this lad, so you have to decide whether that is worth it or not - no-one else can.

Reply 8

mrteacher

1

El Scotto

Going with mates ex's is just lazy and in bad taste.

ALWAYS! especially after 3 weeks.

Reply 9

JadedHippy

11

Intense

I know there are rules as to dating exs' friends and friends' exes, and i don't know what to do.
I've liked this guy for at least a year, but 6 months ago, a friend of mine asked him out, and so they've been going out. He broke up with her 3 weeks ago, and now he's asked me out! i don't know what to do. i really really like him, and I have for so long, and everytime i saw them together my stomache just dropped, but I don't know how to ask her if thats ok, and what our other friends will think. we always said we wouldn't go out with people we both liked unless the the other person said it was ok, and she didn't know I liked him...
I just wish I could say yes but is that crossing the line? Will she hate me forever?
Help!

It is going to get messy, there is no way around this.

The important thing is not to do it behind her back, and make sure she knows about it first. If she gives you an ultimatum then you will have to choose. That's really it.

*Jaded

Reply 10

Fruit-cake

9

Intense

I know there are rules as to dating exs' friends and friends' exes, and i don't know what to do.
I've liked this guy for at least a year, but 6 months ago, a friend of mine asked him out, and so they've been going out. He broke up with her 3 weeks ago, and now he's asked me out! i don't know what to do. i really really like him, and I have for so long, and everytime i saw them together my stomache just dropped, but I don't know how to ask her if thats ok, and what our other friends will think. we always said we wouldn't go out with people we both liked unless the the other person said it was ok, and she didn't know I liked him...
I just wish I could say yes but is that crossing the line? Will she hate me forever?
Help!

i think you should go for it - youve liked him for over a year, would you be able to forgive yourself if you let this opportunity pass? is things go well with you you could be really happy. how good friends with this person are you and how long is she likely to be in your life for? because if youre going to uni next year or whatever you are hardly likely to be spending that much time with her! think about yourself for once and go for it i say.

Where to draw the line

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