Apologies:
Hey i'll try to keep this short so you guys don't get bored and can give me some valuable advice..
I've been with my guy for 3 years now..at the start of the relationship, he broke my trust..he didn't exactly cheat but close to i guess..nothing physical..but still really hurt me for what he did, i then was about to break up with him but he begged me to stay, since then because he broke my trust, i always used to be suspicious about everything, doubt him, and even when he used to try so hard to show me how much he loves me, i showed nothing back and just threw it back in his face..i love him with all my heart,did then too but i was so scared to be hurt again, didn't want to be vulnerable again,he made my heart grow of steel..i was so reluctant to show him much love at all..and started to always accuse him of stupid things, he used to just take it coz he felt he deserved it and didn't give up trying rly hard to win me over..i even said stupid stuf like i flirt with other guys to get back at him even though i genuinely didnt,i love him that much that id never do that,just wanted to hurt him back for him hurting me so much..
Then after a while, maybe 2 years into our relationship, duno what happened, he just switched, he became rly rly cold and said to me i'm not going to take your crap anymore, said some really horrible things, and said that ive given him nothing over the years. ironically at the same time i was ready to show my love to him, ready to open up and give him everything, thought ive punished him long enough..but now he's the one that finds it hard to show me love sometimes he says some really horrible stuff that makes me wonder if he loves me at all? he even broke up with me a few times but then he'd say sorry and that he's just so hurt and ive made him into this bitter person that he finds it hard to love me now because he doesn;t want to get hurt again..he even says he cant trust me anymore because of the things i said..so since then till now, its been really hard for me, ive literally just taken his crap like he did with me, and ive even begged him at times not to leave me. he gets angry over the slightest thing now and then shows so much hatred towards me, but when he's in a good mood and is calm, he's sweet and tells me he loves me
Last night we had another argument again, he started it, he brought up the past..why? and then he got so angry because this time i was arguing back, then he was saying its over and i literally begged for him not to give up..so after saying every horrible thing he could, he said he's not going to give up just yet but if i piss him off again he's gone, he's got exams now too..and so after i was like..i'll give you a break maybe a week or two? till your exams are over, and then we can try make things better, and he was like ok and i told him i love him and wished him luck for his exams,i then left it to him to txt me when his exams were over..but this morning he then txt me saying im sorry for last nyt i'm still yours, forgive me, and i love you a lot..and i was like don't worry its my fault, and told him i love him too, and then he said he's going to chat to me later when he's having a break from revision..
Sso basically..all we do is argue now and then be sweet then argue..and he's always close to breaking up for good, then saying he's sorry..just want some advice do you think this relationship is fixable? or is too much damage done? what can i do to show him he can love me again like he used to without being scared? i want the old him back, he's not the same person anymore can this relationship be saved? would appreciate some really valuable advice Thanks x