Would you mind?

My boyfriend is having his ex stay around his house for the second time this week, the first time she was upset so i didnt mind. But this time she apparently just wanted to stay round (she stays the night, in his room).
They have also done stuff with eachother when they werent going out, but not when i was in the picture.
I guess i just wanted to know whether you also think this is a little odd...I dont want to say i dissaprove because they are friends and i dont want to seem controlling, but i do find it a bit odd since i never knew her to stay round his when me and my boyfriend weren't together.
Would you feel a little uncomfortable with the idea if in my position?

Absolutley

very wrong

I would go mental at the mere suggestion to be honest. That breaks relationship boundaries in my book. Sorry.

Reply 4

digitalparadox

1

Yep very wrong. It seems as though he's just taking advantage of you. Put a stop to it or show him the door (your door of course :biggrin:

)

Reply 5

Schmokie Dragon

17

I would feel uncomfortable but how I would react would depend on the situation.

How close are they? If they are really good friends and you trust your man, then I would tell him you feel a little uncomfortable but not make a big deal about it.

But if this is rather out of the ordinary and you have reason to suspect your man, then I would tell him you feel very uncomfortable and point out why. Dont blow your top but be very firm.

Remember, he is a human too and is allowed to have whatever friends he wants. You need to treat it delicately

Reply 6

Angel Interceptor

11

I wouldn't like that at all - I'd get jealous, and would seriously not want my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend to stay round.

Reply 7

~*Sweetness*~

I'd be extremely jealous and would probably have a sleepless night while she was staying there.

I think you should definitely say something to your boyfriend if it is bothering you. I'm sure he'll put a stop to it if he knows that you don't like that she is staying the night. Maybe tell him that you don't have a problem with him being friends with her but her staying the night is just too much. How would he feel if he was in your position?

Reply 8

Rainbow_Chick

1

Yeah i would feel uncomfortable.
You should talk to him about it how would he like it if the situation was the other way round.

Reply 9

username47781

20

He is very wrong doing this, its clear he still has feelings for her or she still has feelings for him and can't let go, i'd have it out with him on this tell him its you he stays with or ditch him, otherwise hes going to be having his cake and eating it.

Reply 10

pumpkin7

13

if any other girl stayed in my boyfriends room, i would really see that as unacceptable. i mean, i already have a problem with him talking about any girl (he does this alot.. he says he is joking, i'm not so sure) but if another girl stayed in his room, i don't know what i would do. thankfully, his only ex lives in canada.. but even when he talks to her on msn i get a bit angry..
saying that, i don't like even when his best friend stays over at his house.. so thats great.

i would think something is going on with them to be honest.. why else would she stay round his house? i should ask him straight out, and if you don't trust him, then get rid of him.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I do trust him, she asked to stay there and well even though we are friends, i dont trust her. She flirts alot with him, and i think she still likes him, my boyfriend disagrees, but being a guy i dont think he notices it like i do, i think that by her staying over its giving her the idea and the oppurtunity to try something. I know for a fact that he would totally flip of out positions were reversed, coz he is really jealous if i even talk to another boy.

Reply 12

username39618

1

Anonymous

I do trust him, she asked to stay there and well even though we are friends, i dont trust her. She flirts alot with him, and i think she still likes him, my boyfriend disagrees, but being a guy i dont think he notices it like i do, i think that by her staying over its giving her the idea and the oppurtunity to try something. I know for a fact that he would totally flip of out positions were reversed, coz he is really jealous if i even talk to another boy.

Well, methinks its time you had a little 'chat' with your bf and this scheming 'ho.

Reply 13

username39618

1

Makky_Legend

Well, methinks its time you had a little 'chat' with your bf and this scheming 'ho.

Oh wait, no, not the best idea, i see she is your 'friend'...

Reply 14

Schmokie Dragon

17

Ah. If he would get angry when the positions are reversed than you must have a REALLY serious discusion with him! He has no right to double standards. That alone is a reason to ditch him.

Reply 15

username47781

20

Anonymous

I do trust him, she asked to stay there and well even though we are friends, i dont trust her. She flirts alot with him, and i think she still likes him, my boyfriend disagrees, but being a guy i dont think he notices it like i do, i think that by her staying over its giving her the idea and the oppurtunity to try something. I know for a fact that he would totally flip of out positions were reversed, coz he is really jealous if i even talk to another boy.

How can you say that, he is letting another girl other than you sleep in your bed how can you trust him, you say she likes to flirt, Hello this girl is trying to have it off with your boyfriend and your letting it happen, well good luck but don't be suprised if they have sex, why on earth is he agreeing to let her stay at his place.

Reply 16

Drogue

19

While I may be slightly uncomfortable, and would probably mention that, it wouldn't be my decision. Who any girl I'm with is friends with is her business.

Having said that, if he's been previously known to cheat, I'd have far more misgivings.

Talk to him about it, be honest about how you feel but let him decide what to do. He probably doesn't know you feel weird about it. It's perfectly normal to feel weird, but it's still his decision.

Reply 17

twinkledust

2

No way would i allow this. I'd go mad. Can she not just go round and then get a cab home or her sleep in another room? If she's flirty and making excuses to go round, she's clearly trying to get him back. I'd be having words.

Reply 18

CalculusMan

10

I would really go mental if this happened to me. But then again, I don't trust anyone.

Reply 19

Drogue

19

Also it depends how far away she lives. I mean, if I went up to Sheffield I'd probably stay with my ex, despite her having a new beau, but the option of seeing her and taking a cab home doesn't exist, when it's a 3 hour journey.

Would you mind?

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