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arrogance
Right, i've been told a few times that i am arrogant. Some students at my college have that impression of me and also some teachers seem to think the same (one of them has never taught me but still seems to think that from talking to me once. I found about them because they talked to some other students who then related the story to me). My brother also says i have an arrogant streak. The problem I have with this is that I dont want to be seen as arrogant and its something I have tried to overcome as a trait but apparently been unsuccessful. I can't work out how I have this effect on people. Any ideas on what i can do ?
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Can you give some examples of when you were said to be arrogant?
pianist
Can you give some examples of when you were said to be arrogant?
erm. I cant really think of any particular examples. It's just an impression that I appear to leave with people. I get good grades, am good at sport and that sort of thing.
I'll give YOU arrogance...
I try not to talk about my grades as i know that people dont like a show off. Admittedly sometimes i do showboat a little. But the annoying thing about that is when other people do the same, no one seems to think that they are being arrogant.
alot of people (used to) think i am/was arrogant and extremely cocky
its stupid though, i hate it and only at some certain points do i have to show to put people down a peg or 2
some people are just arrogant, whereas some people just try to be arrogant because they think it is cool or fashionable.
find out which you are and stop doing it.
its stupid though, i hate it and only at some certain points do i have to show to put people down a peg or 2
some people are just arrogant, whereas some people just try to be arrogant because they think it is cool or fashionable.
find out which you are and stop doing it.
I have exactly that problem. Just be yourself. If you catch yourself boasting, or in any way generalising and looking down on people, stop. My way of getting round the problem is giving people "fair warning". If they can see through the apparent ego and still like me, cool. If not, not my loss (see, I'm doing it again!). I tell people about my faults and by admitting to them, I can act naturaly and I am more aware of the problem. Just a bit of give and take really.
When I see someone who I think of as arrogant it's because:
They make too many jokish comments. They use the word "I" too much, they don't talk about the person they are talking to very much. They talk about topics which make them seem smart by commenting on those said topics and saying why such topics are wrong/right or explaining them. If they're a guy they stand with their legs apart, if they're a girl they roll their eyes and talk with a sarcastic wink or high pitched jokish/sarcastic tone.
Anywho, good luck
They make too many jokish comments. They use the word "I" too much, they don't talk about the person they are talking to very much. They talk about topics which make them seem smart by commenting on those said topics and saying why such topics are wrong/right or explaining them. If they're a guy they stand with their legs apart, if they're a girl they roll their eyes and talk with a sarcastic wink or high pitched jokish/sarcastic tone.
Anywho, good luck
antics
alot of people (used to) think i am/was arrogant and extremely cocky
its stupid though, i hate it and only at some certain points do i have to show to put people down a peg or 2
some people are just arrogant, whereas some people just try to be arrogant because they think it is cool or fashionable.
find out which you are and stop doing it.
its stupid though, i hate it and only at some certain points do i have to show to put people down a peg or 2
some people are just arrogant, whereas some people just try to be arrogant because they think it is cool or fashionable.
find out which you are and stop doing it.
I'm not particularly bothered about appearing cool or fashionable so its not that type. How would you go about stopping being "just arrogant"?
act nervous and people will think you're less arrogant, especially about grades.
well thats a good start actually lol, the worst kind is the fashionable kind.
anyway being arrogant just means having a belief (and showing) that you are better than other people
when speaking maybe you are quite self- centered, always focusing on things you do well and can do well. people get the impression others are arrogant when they talk about themselves alot.
also, try and listen to other peoples points of view, and dont just assume your right.
i used to always twist things round to make me right, whatever the situation, and sometimes i think to myself, whats the point in doing this, its only going to make the other person feel stupid and inferior
im alot nicer now!
anyway being arrogant just means having a belief (and showing) that you are better than other people
when speaking maybe you are quite self- centered, always focusing on things you do well and can do well. people get the impression others are arrogant when they talk about themselves alot.
also, try and listen to other peoples points of view, and dont just assume your right.
i used to always twist things round to make me right, whatever the situation, and sometimes i think to myself, whats the point in doing this, its only going to make the other person feel stupid and inferior
im alot nicer now!
don't try to change yourself unless you're comfortable with that change, otherwise you could cause yourself some problems with self-esteem. Or you could find arrogant friends, or friends who don't mind arrogance. Or if you're friendly to people and enjoy their company and are considerate to them then they won't really care if you're arrogant.
antics
well thats a good start actually lol, the worst kind is the fashionable kind.
anyway being arrogant just means having a belief (and showing) that you are better than other people
when speaking maybe you are quite self- centered, always focusing on things you do well and can do well. people get the impression others are arrogant when they talk about themselves alot.
also, try and listen to other peoples points of view, and dont just assume your right.
i used to always twist things round to make me right, whatever the situation, and sometimes i think to myself, whats the point in doing this, its only going to make the other person feel stupid and inferior
im alot nicer now!
anyway being arrogant just means having a belief (and showing) that you are better than other people
when speaking maybe you are quite self- centered, always focusing on things you do well and can do well. people get the impression others are arrogant when they talk about themselves alot.
also, try and listen to other peoples points of view, and dont just assume your right.
i used to always twist things round to make me right, whatever the situation, and sometimes i think to myself, whats the point in doing this, its only going to make the other person feel stupid and inferior
im alot nicer now!
come to think of it, the self-centred thing may be true.
I try not to think that I am better than other people although sometimes i will admit having gone down that road because at my college, grades-wise, I am the big fish. that's one reason why I hope to get to Cambridge. small pond thing and all that.
I'd far rather be friends with someone arrogant than someone else who was a total wallflower. You tend to have the most laughs with 'arrogant' people.
There is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance and it's weird how the former is seen as an attractive trait whilst the other is viewed so badly.
Maybe if you don't think you're that arrogant then you might not be. Often people assume that others with good grades, good looks etc are arrogant as they think these people have a reason to be full of themselves
. It's bad for people to judge so quickly but it happens and often if you are generally a high achiever, people will presume that you're trying to rub it in their face or whatever if you mention your grades, where as if you were a low achiever people wouldn't think twice about you mentioning your grades. Maybe try and not mention areas that you excel in quite so much and it may help some way to rebut this presumption. Try to find topics where you are on a level playing ground so there is no chance that you can be percieved as showing off. 
Maybe if you don't think you're that arrogant then you might not be. Often people assume that others with good grades, good looks etc are arrogant as they think these people have a reason to be full of themselves
. It's bad for people to judge so quickly but it happens and often if you are generally a high achiever, people will presume that you're trying to rub it in their face or whatever if you mention your grades, where as if you were a low achiever people wouldn't think twice about you mentioning your grades. Maybe try and not mention areas that you excel in quite so much and it may help some way to rebut this presumption. Try to find topics where you are on a level playing ground so there is no chance that you can be percieved as showing off. Anonymous
don't try to change yourself unless you're comfortable with that change, otherwise you could cause yourself some problems with self-esteem. Or you could find arrogant friends, or friends who don't mind arrogance. Or if you're friendly to people and enjoy their company and are considerate to them then they won't really care if you're arrogant.
i have friends! theyve got used to me by now
. I dont want to appear arrogant so i won't mind changing myself.
I am pretty cocky and to an extent arrogant aswell as cynical and sarcastic - some would say embittered - but it's who I am - my acerbic sense of humour comes naturally - if it's the same with you - and you feel ok about it, dont try and change...that's just a waste of time as everybodys' true characters will show through eventually...
envious
There is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance and it's weird how the former is seen as an attractive trait whilst the other is viewed so badly.
Maybe if you don't think you're that arrogant then you might not be. Often people assume that others with good grades, good looks etc are arrogant as they think these people have a reason to be full of themselves . It's bad for people to judge so quickly but it happens and often if you are generally a high achiever, people will presume that you're trying to rub it in their face or whatever if you mention your grades, where as if you were a low achiever people wouldn't think twice about you mentioning your grades. Maybe try and not mention areas that you excel in quite so much and it may help some way to rebut this presumption. Try to find topics where you are on a level playing ground so there is no chance that you can be percieved as showing off.
Maybe if you don't think you're that arrogant then you might not be. Often people assume that others with good grades, good looks etc are arrogant as they think these people have a reason to be full of themselves
. It's bad for people to judge so quickly but it happens and often if you are generally a high achiever, people will presume that you're trying to rub it in their face or whatever if you mention your grades, where as if you were a low achiever people wouldn't think twice about you mentioning your grades. Maybe try and not mention areas that you excel in quite so much and it may help some way to rebut this presumption. Try to find topics where you are on a level playing ground so there is no chance that you can be percieved as showing off. not meaning to be arrogant (!) but this is true about me. I generally try to avoid asking people about their grades unless I am fairly sure that they will be pleased to tell me. But sometimes people ask me and I think it impolite not to ask them about theirs. And then they say: "don't ask" or similar.
Anonymous
not meaning to be arrogant (!) but this is true about me. I generally try to avoid asking people about their grades unless I am fairly sure that they will be pleased to tell me. But sometimes people ask me and I think it impolite not to ask them about theirs. And then they say: "don't ask" or similar.
I think this probelm is common amongst most people that excel in a particular field. What can I say except life sucks and you can't please everyone. The fact that you are bothered about what other think of you proves you can't be all that arrogant so I suggest you try your best to show what you're truly like and forget about these other people who will probably find fault in whatever you do anyway
ah well. Thanks for all the advice people. I'll try and take it on board.
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