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Worried about my flatmate (ED)..sorry long post!
A new girl has moved into our flat. Her course has long hours so we see her very infrequently and I'm not sure whether or not to (somehow) broach this with her/ voice my concern because of this reason, and also because I've only known her for a fortnight. I've noticed that she does not eat. She buys no food, has no cutlery etc, is never around at meal times (i.e. leaves the flat after her shower/changing for uni every morn) and never has any washing up. She is very very slim. I guess I could have put 2 and 2 together and got 5, but I think this is unlikely. As someone who was borderline ED myself I can recognise the signs quite well, eg she is stunning but quite self conscious (doesn't like her picture being taken at all), seems quite perfectionist and does something else that I used to do, talk about food a lot to divert the attention away from the fact that she doesn't eat any ("Yeah, I love pizza...mmm, chocolate's my favourite food" etc) or always has a reason why she can't accept food off you.
What should I do, if anything? I don't want her to screw up her health irreparably, or be upset about herself when she is clearly beautiful. But then I don't feel like I know her well enough to say yet. I really dont' thing I'm wrong, I'm sure she doesn't eat ALL her meals in uni time. Advice??
What should I do, if anything? I don't want her to screw up her health irreparably, or be upset about herself when she is clearly beautiful. But then I don't feel like I know her well enough to say yet. I really dont' thing I'm wrong, I'm sure she doesn't eat ALL her meals in uni time. Advice??
Try talking to her perhaps? Explain your concerns?
johnnysgirl
A new girl has moved into our flat. Her course has long hours so we see her very infrequently and I'm not sure whether or not to (somehow) broach this with her/ voice my concern because of this reason, and also because I've only known her for a fortnight. I've noticed that she does not eat. She buys no food, has no cutlery etc, is never around at meal times (i.e. leaves the flat after her shower/changing for uni every morn) and never has any washing up. She is very very slim. I guess I could have put 2 and 2 together and got 5, but I think this is unlikely. As someone who was borderline ED myself I can recognise the signs quite well, eg she is stunning but quite self conscious (doesn't like her picture being taken at all), seems quite perfectionist and does something else that I used to do, talk about food a lot to divert the attention away from the fact that she doesn't eat any ("Yeah, I love pizza...mmm, chocolate's my favourite food" etc) or always has a reason why she can't accept food off you.
What should I do, if anything? I don't want her to screw up her health irreparably, or be upset about herself when she is clearly beautiful. But then I don't feel like I know her well enough to say yet. I really dont' thing I'm wrong, I'm sure she doesn't eat ALL her meals in uni time. Advice??
What should I do, if anything? I don't want her to screw up her health irreparably, or be upset about herself when she is clearly beautiful. But then I don't feel like I know her well enough to say yet. I really dont' thing I'm wrong, I'm sure she doesn't eat ALL her meals in uni time. Advice??
if you hardly see her, how do you know what shes up to?
she could be eating with friends or in cafes or takaways or anywhere.
She must have a fair bit of money to be able to eat out all the time and it does seem to be odd that she has no cutlery. But you don't want to be jumping to conclusions.
If you really are concerned though then maybe you could have a chat with her. Do you speak to her much? If you don't then try to get to know her a bit more (I know it may be difficult if you don't see her that much) and maybe you could voice your concerns to her. This is going to be very difficult though as it could make her defensive and quite angry but then again she might be grateful that someone is showing some concern. If you feel comfortable enough you could mention that you have problems with food and it may help her open up to you.
Good luck.
If you really are concerned though then maybe you could have a chat with her. Do you speak to her much? If you don't then try to get to know her a bit more (I know it may be difficult if you don't see her that much) and maybe you could voice your concerns to her. This is going to be very difficult though as it could make her defensive and quite angry but then again she might be grateful that someone is showing some concern. If you feel comfortable enough you could mention that you have problems with food and it may help her open up to you.
Good luck.
Hmmm I think you have to be quite cautious in this situation. Afterall, you are only presuming that she has an ED from a lot of circumstantial evidence so hitting her with an accusation or smothering her with offers of help might not be ideal until you know what's actually going on.
Maybe you could bring up your own situation to her and discuss how you know the signs of EDs and how to get help. Perhaps it is not even neccessary to confront her over the issue as you could offer advice in the form of telling her what you did to get over the illness.
Either way although you may be acting as a good samaritan, it is really not guaranteed that she would appreciate your offers of help or maybe you even commenting on her diet. It's a tricky situation and I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do
Maybe you could bring up your own situation to her and discuss how you know the signs of EDs and how to get help. Perhaps it is not even neccessary to confront her over the issue as you could offer advice in the form of telling her what you did to get over the illness.
Either way although you may be acting as a good samaritan, it is really not guaranteed that she would appreciate your offers of help or maybe you even commenting on her diet. It's a tricky situation and I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do
I had a similar problem, and everyone said to talk to her
Thanks for all the replies guys, I'm gonna keep an eye on her. We were planning on all doing something as a flat, like cooking a meal, so we'll see then I guess. We're getting on really well so I'll just look out for her. I'm not gonna just come out and accuse her, that was never my plan! Just worried that's all..been there (almost!) did that. Thanks again xx
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