Am i over-reacting, or was the way this girl acted really rude? [long]

not gonna type out all the background info, but me and this girl [J] have been in contact over msn, and text message for about 3 months, and see each other a few times. Since the last time i saw her, i tried to get her out twice, as i thought she may like me [ages ago when drunk her mate told me to ask her out for valentines day but i wasn't ready to at that point, too much pressure] as i like her. both times she said she was sorry to decline as she had no money, but said we would get together soon.

Come last night, she was going to be in town, as she'd texted me the night before saying so. when i was out, i texted her asking if she was out. she didn't reply. Went to the next bar with my mate, where we met our other mates. I saw her and her friends, one of which waved me over, so i went over to talk to them. Met all her friends that i hadn't met before. Chatted to her about her exam results, she got a U in one thing which was suprising, but during the convo at one point she just walked off without saying anyting [chatted to her mates for abit then. came back a minute later, started talking to her again, then she just walked off and sat down in a booth with people. was like "hmmm ok", so went back to my friends table.

Few minutes later her and most of her friends come walking past, she smiles but doesnt lie saying anything, they were on the way out. Didn't tell me where she was off, and i wasn't going to invite myself along. she did a text messaging motion with her hands. I went over to talk to her mate, let slip that i thought the girl [J] had been abit rude. She must have instantly texted J as i got a message "i'm so sorry, come to 111 bar xXx".

Me and my mate headed there as our group had gone somewhere abit crap. Went in got drinks, and stood at the opposite end of the bar, didn't want to go directly over to her. She texted asking where iwas, i replied near the DJ, waited but she didn't come over. Me and mate went to the restroom, on the way seeing her and friends. On the way back we stopped to talk to them. J instantly told her mate to come to the toilet with her. once again was thinking wtf. So stayed and talked to her mates boyfriend saying "i seem to have that effect tonight?". They came back, i tried to chat but at this point i felt totally uncomfortable. Then J starts talking about leaving to some club with her mates, trying to convince her other ones to go. they were like "hell no J its only 10 it'll be empty!!!" yet she still was really insisting they leave. At this point i thought to hell with this and started trying to down my drink and get the hell out. i did so, said a quick goodbye, and went to continue tthe night elsewear.

got pretty hammered, went home to sleep around 2, J calls at 3:30 waking me up. Because i was so drunk and tired, i cant remember what was said exactly, i think it was apologetic but not sure at all. One thing i think was said "are we friends" to which replied "i'm everyones friend", i really couldn't converse though as i was so tried and drunk.

So overall, guess i'll count this girl out as a kook, but even as "friends" i think she was really rude. Not going to make an effort to see her again, but she will get in contact, and will probably ask me about the rude thing. Dont know whether i should say "well actually it was rude" or would that be abit controlling considering we're not like going out or anything.

aghhhh sorry just had to rant, total anti climax, she is so nice on msn, the phone, texts, but not last night

Reply 1

RobbieC

Maybe it's her, rather than being you or between you and her... We sometimes tend to become egocentric when we feel insecure, it is very natural. It might just have seemed you were being the only one spurned by her actions... It doesn't mean it's true though. I think it's a case of wait and see.

Reply 2

El Scotto

Serves you right for turning the mobile phone into the death of conversation.

I dont think shes a 'kook' just because you messed up when talking to her face to face, and all you could do was text her... !

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

its often her that texts me. it's me trying to initiate some meet ups face to face. Clearly now i see this isn't something she's comfortable with.

Reply 4

Princess Ella

i think you should forget her-she sint worth your time/money/love-good luck

Reply 5

xavier2k3

have you ever thought that she may be playing a game with you? girls have a tendancy to do that sorta thing..thinking that it's sexy and all..

regards
--marty

Reply 6

Schroedinger's Pandora

She may even have a boyfriend at home?? Is she leading you on?

Reply 7

Dj Nastie

she knows you fancy her and shes trying to avoid you because she's embarased and doesn't know how to deal with the situation. ****in' good at this malarky aint i?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Dj Nastie

she knows you fancy her and shes trying to avoid you because she's embarased and doesn't know how to deal with the situation. ****in' good at this malarky aint i?

thing is that, 4 weeks ago, she went out and i saw her briefly, then i had to leave. She kept calling me drunk, then at 3am her mate came on the phone and said "you fancy her and she fancies you, so you should go out", as i said, at the time i felt pressured and didn't act.

And also, she is often the one that iniates all the texting, phone calls, msn chats, and acts very interested in what i've been up to.

Anyway, i've just realised how stupid this is analysing things at this stage, thanks for all your help but i think its not worth trying for anymore haha, plenty more girls out there who can act normal i expect!

Reply 9

sweetface.

She sounds like she's avoiding you. Try to talk to her, if she does not want to talk to you anymore she's not interested in you. And it's best for you just to leave her and find another girl.

Reply 10

Dj Nastie

either

1.) you've acted too late and missed your chance

or

2.) she fancys you and doesn't think you feel the same hence the reason shes avoiding you.

My bet is 1, her m8s have blatently told her you fancy her but i reckon she dont fancy you anymore, if thats the case get over it and hold it as a lesson learnt.

Reply 11

Schmokie Dragon

Actualy, she didnt seem that rude. Common, she apologised! She may have been wary as to how she stood with you and didn't want to seem like a stalker. Or maybe she thought you fancied her and she didn't want that kind of attention. But no, she didn't seem that rude.