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    • Thread Starter

    In the silent lonely café
    Of the council leisure centre
    Sat the grim faced zumba teacher
    Teacher of the fabled zumba
    She has just been given bad news
    Never more will do her lessons
    In the mirrored zumba chamber
    Never more will pump the music
    Tinchy Stryder S Club 7
    Making sweaty lycra cuties
    Bump and grind and shake their booties
    So she orders final breakfast
    Stick the diet up their ********
    Four fried eggs and thirty mushrooms
    Sixteen bangers nice and fatty
    Fried bread dripping naughty juices
    Pudding black she's no excuses
    Hash browns bacon toast and butter
    Let the council fascists mutter
    If they want to axe the zumba
    She will make the *******s suffer
    Bring me more baked beans and waffles
    Now she's feeling quite abnormal
    Tea with sugars nineteen twenty
    Zumba lady sweats and reddens
    Still she shovels further portions
    Lycra cannot hold much longer
    Soon the tipping point is coming
    She slips in a final sausage
    Heart attack has struck the lady
    Now the ambulance is wailing
    Throbbing music from the siren
    Men in jumpsuits pump in rhythm
    It's like zumba thinks the lady
    As she floats away to heaven
    Later grim faced council bosses
    Clad in burton suits and glasses
    Offer insincere condolence
    Special cleaning squads are working
    Cleaning up the lycra horror
    From the floors and walls and ceiling
    Of the leisure centre café
    Paramedics torn asunder
    By exploding gut of zumba
    Methane gas from beans and bangers
    Formed a lethal combination
    Set off by defibrillation
    Now the council elf & safety
    Recommend a change of menu
    Continental are the breakfasts
    Never more the English fullness
    Banished beans and bacon badness
    Never more the sausage madness
    So what lessons can we garner
    From this gruesome tale of woe ?
    Zumba teachers do have feelings;
    If you have to let them go
    Make them leave the freaking building
    Do not feed them...just say no

    sounds like it “tune” of Poes Raven but I like it.

    • Thread Starter

    (Original post by sammy-lou)
    Thanks Sammy... are you a Zumba enthusiast ?


    (Original post by the bear)
    Thanks Sammy... are you a Zumba enthusiast ?

    I'm not actually, although I know a few that are, and I know exactly the sort of person you were writing about! haha
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