The Student Room Group

long distance?

well just tell me what you would do in this case.
i met this guy when i was away from home and we are both from different countries. we became friends and i kinda started liking him but then we left. we were still in touch and talked on the phone and i still really liked him and didnt know what to do about it so i just let it be.. but then somehow one day it came up and we both thought that we would have been more than friends if we could meet everyday... and that we both like each other.. a lot.. but he didnt think it would work because of the distance and the money and that even if we do meet it'd just hurt more to leave again and even meeting again.. we both dont have the money right now.. and he thinks it would be too hard to really go on like this and we should both see other people or try to and remain friends.. i see sense in that even though i have no clue how i can be with someone else when i really am still in love with him and i dont have a clue how to deal with myself and my feelings.. so.. ummm well what do you think? am i being very impractical?
Reply 1
I've had a long distance relationship in the past, though i did meet him at home and it was me that went away. We are still together now. long distance relationships are only gonna work if your 100% committed to making it work, and by the sounds of it he's already given up. If he can even suggest seeing other people, don't be with him, because it's not worth the agony of a long distance relationship for him not to want to be with you totally, you need a strong relationship before u go long distance. I'd try and remain friends with him, because you never know what may happen at some point down the line when your least expecting it. enjoy being single for a bit! keep smiling!:smile:
Reply 2
JollyJo
I've had a long distance relationship in the past, though i did meet him at home and it was me that went away. We are still together now. long distance relationships are only gonna work if your 100% committed to making it work, and by the sounds of it he's already given up. If he can even suggest seeing other people, ditch him, because it's not worth the agony of a long distance relationship for him not to want to be with you totally. find yourself a nice bloke at home and get snuggling! keep smiling!:smile:

umm well thats kinda what i thought too but its just that he doesnt see how he'd have the money to come meet me and he said he really cant live for that long just missing me and longing for me all the time and he cannot live knowing that he'd never be able to be with me.. i guess it sounds like hes giving up and doesnt want to try but hmmm :frown: i dont know..
Reply 3
my thoughts are that if he wanted to be with you he'd find a way to be with you. They don't say love can move the tallest mountain for nothing! it's a real problem because you don't want to move on , and i know how you feel. but it doesn't just hurt leaving them behind , it kills you everytime they leave. but it's worth it if you can make it work. i know this thought will bugg you now but are you sure he's single at home?
Reply 4
yeah i trust him and he's really honest about how he feels.. or what he thinks.. we kinda decided to be just friends for now the last time we talked but i still love him and i know he likes me too.. and we have the most awesome conversations.. i dont think i totally wanna lose contact with him.. and i couldnt even if i wanted to...
Reply 5
just keep your options open then. you never know what may happen down the line! :smile:
I have the same problem!

Listen I'm going to uni in september in england and I live in France , I've been with this girl for 10 months now and she's begging me for a LDR.

Now being honest I do admit I love her.BUT I kow that uni lasts only three years and that I should make the most out of it and that is what is blocking me from saying yes...

Because she'll come and see me every once in a while during the week end coming on saturday and going back on sunday...Now I know that loads of activities take place during the week ends etc and I don't want to say to myself that I missed loads of fun and experience because I had a girlfriend.To be honest I'm getting scared of serious relationships because it asks for so much commitment etc...

I don't really know what to do as I4m going to see her tonight and she wants an answer whether or not we'll stay together...
Reply 7
You posted this in another thread...so here is my answer again..lol:

Oh grow up. There will be plenty of time for fun at uni even if you have a gf. Think yourself lucky that she will be making the effort. There are also plenty of activities during the week...

Is it that you dont actually want to be with her? It seems like you are just making excuses, and pretty weak ones at that.

Plus if you really like her, you wont mind missing a small bit of the fun for some quality time with your lady...