Friend literally compliments everyone but me

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 8 years ago
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This is going to sound like a really petty stupid thread and it probably is, but I'd appreciate some advice. So I'm at uni and I have a nice little group of friends and one of my closest friends is basically always complimenting my other friends, but never me as of late! I'm not trying to sound vain or anything, but at the beginning of the year like term 1, they would tell me that I was the 'pretty one' in our group and rib me about it and stuff and now literally for the past few months, this girl is always like 'omg 'blah blah' you look gorgeous' or 'well don't you look lovely!' and she never ever says anything nice about me! Amongst all the friends, it's me, this girl and another girl who are really close and a little subgroup, and my friend always compliments our other friend and never me. She'll take a photo of us and then be like ahh 'name of 3rd friend' you look so adorable.

It's really just this friend, it almost seems like she's reluctant to say anything nice about me, but I can't imagine that being the case just because she is so lovely apart from this and is one of my best friends here. I'm really not this self obsessed person that wants to hear how pretty she is, I promise, but sometimes it's just like ok you're complimenting EVERYONE else on how gorgeous they are, even when I've been told that I'm more attractive than them, and it's really harping on my self confidence.

I realise I'm going to get a few 'shut up you stupid vain idiot' comments, I really am not being horrible, just trying to give you guys the whole picture. I wouldn't care if someone never complimented me, I'm NOT one of those girls who puts up a million pictures of herself and waits for facebook comments or whatever, I just feel like she is almost deliberately not giving me any compliments.
3
echeee
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#2
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Maybe she fancies her

....

or maybe she just looks better than you do.
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milienhaus
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Maybe she thinks your other friend doesn't think she's pretty and needs a confidence boost, but you're fine?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by echeee)
Maybe she fancies her

....

or maybe she just looks better than you do.
Lol I have actually considered that she might fancy her, though she seems straight! It's almost weird sometimes when she's like 'you are so cute!'. She isn't fabulous looking (and neither am I), but that's not the point. Out of 6 or 7 people, when you throw a compliment at 5 out of 6 people, maybe a nice word to the 6th person wouldn't hurt. I'm starting to feel like a troll here. And my other friends will say aw you look nice or you can totally pull that off, but I feel like she just doesn't like saying nice things about me. Confusing thing is that she is such a nice person! Whatever, I just wish I knew how to deal with it without feeling irrationally annoyed.
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Billton
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Maybe she's just trying to compliment your other friend so she isn't left out? What does it matter anyway? My friends don't tell me I look gorgeous but I still love them :confused:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by milienhaus)
Maybe she thinks your other friend doesn't think she's pretty and needs a confidence boost, but you're fine?
That's exactly what I thought, but now it's getting to the point where I need a confidence boost more than my other friend! Thanks
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Luminique
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maybe she's crazy about you but just compliments everyone else to make it seem she's just as crazy about them.

What i mean is, she probably thinks that she doesn't really need to compliment you because she assumes that you already think that you two are great friends however she compliments everyone else on a 'superflous' level to keep good relations with them too.

If you get what I mean...

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Billton)
Maybe she's just trying to compliment your other friend so she isn't left out? What does it matter anyway? My friends don't tell me I look gorgeous but I still love them :confused:
No it totally doesn't matter, back in high school my group of friends and I never really complimented the life out of each other. The point I was making was, across a period of time she will literally compliment every person in our friend group but me. If you're going to do that and single me out, then yeah it does confuse me a little, whether I am attractive/look nice that day/am wearing a nice outfit OR NOT lol. Maybe she says nice things about me when I'm not there, I have no idea. I've considered that maybe she thinks other people compliment me and I don't need it 'getting to my head'.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Luminique)
maybe she's crazy about you but just compliments everyone else to make it seem she's just as crazy about them.

What i mean is, she probably thinks that she doesn't really need to compliment you because she assumes that you already think that you two are great friends however she compliments everyone else on a 'superflous' level to keep good relations with them too.

If you get what I mean...

Yeah I totally get what you mean, thanks Which is why it never bothers me when she says things like that to a random friend of ours or someone we don't know very well, but when she says it to people within our very close group of friends, it does bother me a little. Oh well, nothing I can do about it, it's her opinion!
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Billton
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The point I was making was, across a period of time she will literally compliment every person in our friend group but me. If you're going to do that and single me out, then yeah it does confuse me a little
Then she could be jealous, I don't know. How often do you compliment your friends? It could be as petty as "Well she never compliments me so why should I bother complimenting her anymore?"
:facepalm:
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Playa10
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#11
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Maybe she doesn't like your complaining
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NomNomNom :)
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maybe it's like when your really casual with a friend..so it would be awkward if she compliments you...kinda like when a close friend makes an insult but it's just a joke..if you understand what I mean
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Billton)
Then she could be jealous, I don't know. How often do you compliment your friends? It could be as petty as "Well she never compliments me so why should I bother complimenting her anymore?"
:facepalm:
I compliment pretty much on the same level as my other friends do. And I definitely compliment this particular friend quite a bit, as well as my other friends. I guess there are just certain people who you find 'adorable or compliment-worthy'- I've noticed I don't compliment certain people so maybe it's just the same with her and me.
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kirstyy93
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Maybe she just assumes you already know you're really pretty if they considered you the 'pretty one', so she just compliments other people to boost their confidence. It doesn't sound as though it's out of spite :P
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Playa10)
Maybe she doesn't like your complaining
Lol that would be a good suggestion if I ever actually complained about this out loud. I do know it's a really petty thing to be annoyed about, but that's why they call it 'irrational' and that's why I'm posting anonymously on a message board.

(Original post by NomNomNom :))
maybe it's like when your really casual with a friend..so it would be awkward if she compliments you...kinda like when a close friend makes an insult but it's just a joke..if you understand what I mean
Yeah I agree, but the other friends are close too and the 3rd friend is definitely on the same level of close as me and her.
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Jellybean91
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Do you give HER any compliments??
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Billton
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I compliment pretty much on the same level as my other friends do.
Tonight I'm going to see how many times my friends compliment eachother
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TurboCretin
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The **** that goes on in girl land...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kirstyy93)
Maybe she just assumes you already know you're really pretty if they considered you the 'pretty one', so she just compliments other people to boost their confidence. It doesn't sound as though it's out of spite :P
Yeah that's what I think too, but it's just like I'm not a supermodel or anything close to that haha, so either way it's annoying, whether she just doesn't think I'm worth complimenting or if she's deliberately avoiding complimenting me because she thinks I know it already. I am not someone who considers herself pretty, all I've said on this thread is based on what other people (including this girl herself) have said to me. And no, it's definitely not out of spite, because she is the least spiteful person I could think of, which is what's confusing me.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jellybean91)
Do you give HER any compliments??
Yes I do.

(Original post by Billton)
Tonight I'm going to see how many times my friends compliment eachother
Hahaha sorry if this sounds really douchey, it's just started to really bother me and I'm noticing it more and more!
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