This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Life

Firstly, sorry this will probably be a long read.

Atm I feel there's loads of things wrong, which is getting me really down and stressed out.

Firstly, Im at college and doing ok in one subject, but terrible in the other. I got a "U" for the exam as a close family member died around the exam time, which effected everyone. Got it back today and told my parents that I got a "D" which they were annoyed at just that :frown:

The reason I told them I got a D was because they are really stressed out at the moment with many things, one of the main things probably being that my mum will be being made redundant in the next few weeks, but there are many other issues with them that are causing the whole family to get stressed.

Another issue is my driving test. Ive got that in just over a week, and every day as it gets closer im worrying more and more about it and have been doing so now for about 4 weeks.

Next, Ive got no money and EMA is a joke. Loads of people get EMA, which is £30 a week, just because their parents are divorced or whatever. How stupid is that? It doesnt mean they get less spent on them, infact, they probably get more! :mad:

Now you're probably thinking get a part time job or something...well I've applied to 8 places, only 2 got back to me saying Sorry you're not what we're looking for, the rest just ignore you :mad:

I feel that I dont have many close friends, and this is basically because i have no confidence so am really quiet and shy and find it extremely hard to talk to more than one person at once in a group :confused:

which stems down to my next point.

Appearance. I have a few things that I dont like about myself, main one being quite bad acne scars. Now im on medication and have been for about 2 years so its still there, but nothing like it used to be, the scars are just horrible though.

So all of these points...and many other silly little things are really getting me down and I dont think i can carry on with it much longer, however silly it may sound :frown:

Basically im just looking for any advice, I hate life at the moment :frown:

Reply 1

Mrs_F

15

You need a hug. A big, big hug.

Reply 2

*Farfalla*

2

Anonymous

Firstly, sorry this will probably be a long read.

Atm I feel there's loads of things wrong, which is getting me really down and stressed out.

Firstly, Im at college and doing ok in one subject, but terrible in the other. I got a "U" for the exam as a close family member died around the exam time, which effected everyone. Got it back today and told my parents that I got a "D" which they were annoyed at just that :frown:

The reason I told them I got a D was because they are really stressed out at the moment with many things, one of the main things probably being that my mum will be being made redundant in the next few weeks, but there are many other issues with them that are causing the whole family to get stressed.

Another issue is my driving test. Ive got that in just over a week, and every day as it gets closer im worrying more and more about it and have been doing so now for about 4 weeks.

Next, Ive got no money and EMA is a joke. Loads of people get EMA, which is £30 a week, just because their parents are divorced or whatever. How stupid is that? It doesnt mean they get less spent on them, infact, they probably get more! :mad:

Now you're probably thinking get a part time job or something...well I've applied to 8 places, only 2 got back to me saying Sorry you're not what we're looking for, the rest just ignore you :mad:

I feel that I dont have many close friends, and this is basically because i have no confidence so am really quiet and shy and find it extremely hard to talk to more than one person at once in a group :confused:

which stems down to my next point.

Appearance. I have a few things that I dont like about myself, main one being quite bad acne scars. Now im on medication and have been for about 2 years so its still there, but nothing like it used to be, the scars are just horrible though.

So all of these points...and many other silly little things are really getting me down and I dont think i can carry on with it much longer, however silly it may sound :frown:

Basically im just looking for any advice, I hate life at the moment :frown:

I totally sympathise... it's one of those downward spirals where once a few things go wrong... everything seems to take a turn for the worse and the world seems a lot bleaker.

With your exams and stuff - it's totally understandable that the exam didn't go too well with a death in the family... However... I think it would be better to come clean to your family - just because your mum is dealing with problems doesn't mean you should protect her - she's an adult, she can cope.... you need someone who can look after you! The death has affected everyone and exams are a last priority when you're grieving.... perhaps if you tell your parents about the U they will realise somehting is up and help you to get back on track..... Just remember, a problem shared is usually a problem halved so if you can face it... try it?

Regards the driving test - I've got mine on wednesday too and i'm shaking inside whenever i think about it! It's just one of those things you have to go through and if it doesn't go to plan first time you can try again.

For your application for a job - you're doing everything right... something is bound to come up soon ... try not to take the knock-backs to heart... keep on sending out CVs and no doubt a student job will come your way.

I advise talking to a trusted person - if not a family member perhaps a college counsellor? Seriously - counselling can be really therapeutic particularly when you've got so much on your plate right now.

Keep going - things can only get better from here x

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

You don't understand my dad :frown:

He would seriously screw if he found out, but cheers for the advice :smile:

Reply 4

*Farfalla*

2

Anonymous

You don't understand my dad :frown:

He would seriously screw if he found out, but cheers for the advice :smile:

What's the worst thing he could do? -

Maybe explain to him why you think you messed up the exam -perhaps telling him will make him realise how the death has affected you.

What about talking to the teacher of the subject you hate? Maybe you can get some extra help to raise the grade and realise where you went wrong?

Reply 5

Mrs_F

15

Your parents should be pleased that they have a daughter who sticks in and tries hard!

Especially since your grade is because of the death in the family, and it's not exactly a reflection on what you can achieve.
Even if it was - it's not the end of the world if you did get those grades, you can still go on to university and get a good job and live a good life.

What are you wanting to do in the future? If you have something positive to focus on then it may take your mind of the tough times you have been having lately.
*hugs*

Reply 6

RK

TSR Community Staff

22

Anonymous person, if you want to chat over PMs or something, then just PM me. I've done this before with people when I've been feeling down and having problems and it can help. I know you'd have to 'reveal' who you are, but I won't tell anyone who you are.

Everyone has some problems at any one time, you seem to have lots just now. Things won't stay like this for ever. Something will come and brighten things up for you. Just a couple of weeks ago I was feeling extremely low with loads of problems, but a chat with a few people really helped me.

So if you want to just PM me any time :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm 17 and male btw :p:

Theres so many more things that I havent written down that is getting me really down atm, i'd be here all night, they're probably just the worst.

Just...grr :frown:

Reply 8

Mrs_F

15

Anonymous

I'm 17 and male btw :p:

Theres so many more things that I havent written down that is getting me really down atm, i'd be here all night, they're probably just the worst.

Just...grr :frown:

OOOPS! I'm very sorry!

What do you want to do after college?

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

*Farfalla*

What's the worst thing he could do? -

Maybe explain to him why you think you messed up the exam -perhaps telling him will make him realise how the death has affected you.

What about talking to the teacher of the subject you hate? Maybe you can get some extra help to raise the grade and realise where you went wrong?

It's not just because of the death, although that was part of the reason. Im just no good at psychology.

The worst he could do? Well, I know it sounds silly but he would probably not speak to me for a bit, after shouting for ages, which would make things even more tense between us, adding more stress again. I know hes only looking out for my future...but I just think...whats the point in living if all you do is work to live, seems silly :confused:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

lynseyweth

What do you want to do after college?

Thats the thing.....I have no real ambitions and dont have a clue what I want to do. Im doing IT and psychology, but seriously dont have a clue what I want to do, ive got no direction if that makes sense :confused:

Lol reading back through all this sounds so silly :frown:

Reply 11

RK

TSR Community Staff

22

Anonymous

Thats the thing.....I have no real ambitions and dont have a clue what I want to do. Im doing IT and psychology, but seriously dont have a clue what I want to do, ive got no direction if that makes sense :confused:

Lol reading back through all this sounds so silly :frown:

It doesn't sound silly. That is always what I think when I try and talk about my problems, but it's not silly at all. You've realised that there are things you want to talk about and whatever those things are it is better for you to talk about then than keep it all inside.

Don't worry about not being sure what you want to do just yet. I'm assuming you finish your current courses in summer 2007. If so you have plenty of time to decide. Just keep looking at all the options you can, take as much advice as you can and something will hit you as being the direction you want to take. You don't have to have a life planed out in detail years in advance, just take one step at a time, so long as you keep looking at what you can do at the next stage :smile:

Reply 12

Mrs_F

15

Anonymous

Thats the thing.....I have no real ambitions and dont have a clue what I want to do. Im doing IT and psychology, but seriously dont have a clue what I want to do, ive got no direction if that makes sense :confused:

Lol reading back through all this sounds so silly :frown:

It's not silly at all.
I know what it is like trying to cope with the death of a close family member, and everything can get on top of you, all your emotions get built up inside and then everything seems to be going wrong.

You just have to try and think positively. I did psychology and ICT too and didn't do as well as I would have liked to in my A levels (due to those years being my rebel years :eek:

)
But you have a valuable excuse for your struggling at college at the minute, it will get easier for you, but even if you don't do as well as your dad would like - it's really not the end of the world.

I knew a lot of people at college who had no idea what they wanted to do afterwards. People at university didn't even know what they wanted to do! You have your whole life to decide that though. Something might just suddenly pop up and you will think "oh I wouldn't mind doing that."

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Keep trying with the part time jobs (it can take a while but you mustn't give up.)
You could talk to one of your college tutors if you are finding the subjects difficult. That's what they are there for afterall!

I hope you can lift your chin up a bit - even though it is difficult at the minute. You sound like a decent person and I'm sure you will be really successful.

Reply 13

Mark S

17

Yeah life sometimes suck, if the nurse had told me it wasnt going to be easy while in the womb i'd probably have tried to stay in as long as possible.

You should come out with me and get drunk, very drunk :wink:

. My and my mates would show you a good time.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Btt

Reply 15

Mrs_F

15

Anonymous

Btt

Reply 16

enigma2506

Hey fella,

This sounds so much like me, or like how its was for when I was 16/17. From the period of my GCSE's it was all crap, I did badly and didnt want to tell my family coz my step-dad was an ass and would have hit the roof and me too for that matter. Well me family did find out and yep me step-dad did think hitting me would be the best solution.

At this time I was quite fat too, so got a lot of stick for it.

Anyway after GCSEs I stayed on at 6th form, I didnt want to but didnt really feel I had a choice. Anyway I totally failed the entire 2years, accademically speeking, but during that time I took up weight training, by the time I was eighteen I was still pretty heavy but more muscle than fat.

I basically turned my weight, size n strength to my advantaged, becoming a full time site labourer, and got all the best paid site jobs as a result.(oh n me step-dad never hit me again, he always said that when I turn 18 he kick the **** out of me, unfortunatly he didnt reckon on me being 17stone and bench pressing above my own weight)

Im 25 now and man my life has changed, its gone from bad to ok, and then from ok to "ok I wana die now", but after 4 awful years of manic depression and loosing the only thing that ever mattered to me, my daughter, I'm back on form, kinda, I'm now doing a degree, taken up weights again and even thinking of an amature boxing career.
Thats me, not you, but my point is no matter how bad it gets, and believe me I know pretty much all the bad there is to know, theres always an answer. Every problem has a solution.

Use your problems and faults to your advantage, As for your family and grades, just come clean fella, tell the truth and dont be afraid, its your life not theres, you gota do whats right for you.

Make your choices based on what you can and want to do, not what others want for you.

Reply 17

pumpkin7

13

Anonymous

Firstly, sorry this will probably be a long read.

Atm I feel there's loads of things wrong, which is getting me really down and stressed out.

Firstly, Im at college and doing ok in one subject, but terrible in the other. I got a "U" for the exam as a close family member died around the exam time, which effected everyone. Got it back today and told my parents that I got a "D" which they were annoyed at just that :frown:

The reason I told them I got a D was because they are really stressed out at the moment with many things, one of the main things probably being that my mum will be being made redundant in the next few weeks, but there are many other issues with them that are causing the whole family to get stressed.

Another issue is my driving test. Ive got that in just over a week, and every day as it gets closer im worrying more and more about it and have been doing so now for about 4 weeks.

Next, Ive got no money and EMA is a joke. Loads of people get EMA, which is £30 a week, just because their parents are divorced or whatever. How stupid is that? It doesnt mean they get less spent on them, infact, they probably get more! :mad:

Now you're probably thinking get a part time job or something...well I've applied to 8 places, only 2 got back to me saying Sorry you're not what we're looking for, the rest just ignore you :mad:

I feel that I dont have many close friends, and this is basically because i have no confidence so am really quiet and shy and find it extremely hard to talk to more than one person at once in a group :confused:

which stems down to my next point.

Appearance. I have a few things that I dont like about myself, main one being quite bad acne scars. Now im on medication and have been for about 2 years so its still there, but nothing like it used to be, the scars are just horrible though.

So all of these points...and many other silly little things are really getting me down and I dont think i can carry on with it much longer, however silly it may sound :frown:

Basically im just looking for any advice, I hate life at the moment :frown:

first off, life is always going to get you down.. always.. at some point or another you will feel like this. you have to remember that it happens to everyone at some point. it happens to some people more than others, but still.. it happens.
what you have to always remember, is things will only get better. and, by joe they will. you are only at college, and although college may seem **** and your grades aren't that great, remember that grades are not everything. you don't need to be an A* student to get a good job.. grades are usually just letters on a page when it comes to employers picking employees.. what stands out, is personality. they want people who will be able to get on with others around them to create a positive working atmosphere. as long as you let your personality shine, then you will get a job quicker than anyone with a perfect score card.
this could be why you haven't been sucessful in getting a job. if you have been stressed out and unhappy, and you have let this come through in your interviews, then people won't want to employ you.. after all, who wants a grumpy and unsocial employee?
driving tests are annoying things. they worry everyone, and you can see that by looking in the motoring room. just remember that if you fail, it isn't the the be all and end all.. you can always take it again.. just stay calm when the day of your test arises and you will do fine. take it nice and easy and don't panic.. if you do something wrong, nevermind.. it might not mean that you have failed.. relax and you will be fine.
EMA. there always seems to be friction between the people who get it, and the people who think they should be getting it. i think that everyone should get it, even if it is just £10 a week.. then everyone would be happy.
it isn't based on 'if your parents are divorced or whatever'. they base EMA on your parents income. you are right however, that even if your parents earn a ton of money, it doens't mean you get any of it. i used to get £20 EMA a week, and everyone who didn't get it used to make me feel bad for getting it.. yes, it was helpful, but no, i didn't especially need it. i wouldn't be so bitter about it... it isn't that much money in comparison to how much you would earn with a part time job - and with that, keep trying.. and take my advice.. you might not be happy at the time, but you have to make yourself seem like a happy person so someone will hire you. i know the frustration of trying to find a job.. i left college in january, and i have only just been offered a job. it's not fun, but you have to keep thinking something will come around, because it normally does.
it's good that you know your problem is confidence.. now you know what is wrong you can do something about it. with friends, i would just try and be a bit more outgoing. people do not care what your skin looks like. you have no idea how many teenagers suffer from acne.. and people, unless they are so unbelievably shallow that it troubles them, don't care. i used to have very bad skin, i know how bad it can be, but you can't let a few spots ruin your life and knock back your confidence. one day you will wake up, and they will be gone.. trust me.
if your friends have wondered off, i doubt highly it is because you are quiet, or it's because of your skin. it's probably the fact that they weren't very good friends anyway and you are probably better without them. there are so many people in the world (obviously) just waiting to be your friend.. just talk to people and you will do fine. don't be self conscious and just relax when you are talking to people.. don't keep thinking 'omg they hate me because i am quiet'.. chances are they want to help you come out of your shell more.. :smile:

i know it seems like everything is at an ultimate low, but you have barely started living.. everyone goes through this, and everyone gets through it.

good luck mate.

Reply 18

honey_bubbles

okies, ive kinda been there. what you have to think is......1) it is NOT the end of the world and 2) everything happens for a reason. for example, you not getting a job....maybe thats because ur perfect job hasnt found you yet. think of it this way - you may want a job NOW but, would you rather get a job in a knicker factory tomorrow, or wait another week/month/however long and get a fantastic job? things always work out for the best in the end, and the fact that you're trying is the main thing. dont give up because, no matter how low you get, the only thing that will push you deeper is giving up on yourself. the exam grade is to be expected - think of the situation you were in. have you got a re-take scheduled? chances are you will do SO much better. your driving test - just chill. dont stress about it too much - it wont do you any favours. all you can do is your best, and if that aint good enough then you have to try again until it is. nobody is ever going to give you anything for free, and you have to work for what you want. but think of how you will feel this time next month when things are much clearer. the last point i want to make is that, things are constantly changing. so its a bad time for you atm - that wont be the case forever. just dont give up on it, hon.

Life

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated