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Still A Virgin At 25 - Time For An Escort??

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Reply 60
I don't think having sex with an escort is going to make you feel better about your situation. If anything, I think it might make you feel worse. Try a dating website if as you say you have good features. I don't think that anyone that gets far enough into a relationship with you to have sex with you will care if you are a virgin or not by the way - you don't even have to tell them.
I'm in a similar position to you OP. Same age, similar situation. Had depression since I was 15...etc destroyed my life basically so I've just never had anything to do with sex or relationships whatsoever.

When I actually think about it, the fact that I've never had sex or a relationship doesn't really bother me personally. I'm just not really that kind of person, it's just not something that would generally concern me. It seems almost trivial to me. Yet I somehow still feel a deep sense of shame about my situation, I worry about what other people think and I feel under pressure to get involved in sex and relationships, similar to what you describe OP.

There just seems to be so much stigma attached to being a virgin these days, even into your late teens let alone early or mid twenties. I don't really understand it personally, just doesn't make sense to me. But it seems to be the norm.
An option, for the moment, would be to use the "continuous orgasm" way of masturbating. (im assuming you masturbate). This is where you masturbate to the brink, then stop for a few seconds, then again, then stop, then again etc. This trains you to control and last longer. Which is good.

If you communicate that its been awhile the girl wont expect great things the 1st time. If you train yourself this way the 2nd and 3rd times should be good. Its not that difficult tbh.

Works for some anyway. Best advice i can offer.
Reply 63
Jeez if you're that desperate to get laid why not join a dating website or go speed dating.

That way you'll probably hook yourself up with a fat chick which is mildly better than paying for a shag with a crack whore.

(And escort is just another name for hooker).
http://mailorderbrides.com/

^^ found that today for another thread.

Good thing is they come with a guarantee so if they start moaning you just send them back and get another. :smile:
Reply 65
Original post by Anonymous
Right guys I'm a bit embaressed talking about this but I feel I have to because it bothers me an awful lot.

I don't go out an awful lot, infact at all. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy around 16-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends, particularly at university. I never made the effort to try to address it so all I did was become a social recluse.

I recently did badly in my postgraduate exams (telecommunications msc) and attempted suicide, my brother returned from class early to prevent me however. I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically, and for the first time in my life I've decided to seek councilling to solve this, been to a gp and on anti-depressants. I've been requested for long term therapy, because they believe it might take me a long time to sort me out as its gone on for so long.

I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically. I feel tired of being me/failure and thus questioned whether or not I want to live anymore because the pain is becoming too great (hence why I was suicidal at that time).

One of the things that bothers me is that I've never had a girlfriend (not suprising), and that I'm still a virgin. Now this isn't because of the way I look, heck I could look like brad pitt/tom cruise and would still be a virgin because I'm such a social recluse and chose to be this way.

I'm quite a fit guy, go to the gym regularly, healthy, no appearance problems, but I don't make friends easily.

I recognise that while I could get better with therapy/councilling, I realise that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.

I'm not going to become a social king overnight so in the meantime I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an escort. But I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experiance and you're first time is never that great so the escort wont care and will probably teach me.

Its sound pathetic and desperate, but that's the way my life is at moment. Very down about it. Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?? Or should I just wait and see if the therapy helps me first and do it in time when I'm ready??

I feel massively under pressure tbh.


An escort will not help really dude. They're not usually there to give you experience, just to make money. Most probably wouldn't be THAT attentive, and I doubt that you would learn much from one anyway.
Reply 66
Definitely wait, I know it may seem like a good idea to get with an escort, but trust me, it isn't. From a girls own view, I think i'd rather have a guy tell me he's a virgin rather than a guy say he really needed to lose his virginity so slept with an escort. Put yourself out there mate! Don't be shy, get involved with stuff where girls will definitely be present haha, anything from sports clubs to music associations etc. That way if you have some common ground it's not gonna look weird if you strike up a conversation :smile:
Just wait.
Dont be afraid to read guides. I once got this invaluable thing about inserting your index finger at the same as giving oral from fhm. Glad i did.

Honestly mate this area of your difficulties isnt as big as you think.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 68
Being a virgin is no big deal, except for when you're like 16 maybe and people start doing it and talking about it and you maybe feel like it's something people might make fun of you for, as kids/teens do. Once people grow up a bit they realise it's not a big deal at all. Obviously if you didn't ever lose it you might still be in that 16-18 year old frame of mind where it feels like this huge thing. But really, don't worry.
I'd be happy to date a 25 year old virgin, makes no difference in the slightest.

Just try and get yourself out there, it's bound to happen eventually. Plus there's no reason why anybody has to know? I'm sure nobody will be asking you at 25 whether you're a virgin, so just don't say anything yourself!
Reply 69
Original post by ShowMeYourSpine
There just seems to be so much stigma attached to being a virgin these days, even into your late teens let alone early or mid twenties. I don't really understand it personally, just doesn't make sense to me. But it seems to be the norm.


There isn't trust me. I think only a person that hasn't had sex before believes that there is and worries about it.
People who have realise how it's not a big deal at all, and at 25 years old, I highly doubt there's very many people at all that would look down on you for being a virgin...unless they were about 16.
Original post by Stefan1991
Course it's a big deal. How would you feel if up to the age of 25 nobody in the world had found you good enough to be a sexual partner? If nobody found you attractive enough? It would make you feel pretty worthless.


I'm speaking from a girlfriend prespective. For instance, if I'm going out with a 25 year old virgin then clearly, seeing as we'd be going out, I'd find him attractive and frankly wouldn't care less whether he's stuck his dick into another girl before me. Also, the amount of sexual experience you've had certainly doesn't correlate with how attractive someone is. It probably says more about the kind of girls the guy goes for.
Reply 71
Original post by Nutty_Psychologist
I think you will regret it massively because it won't change anything. Alright you'll lose your virginity statement but your the only person that holds that to yourself. Noone else will look at you and know that. Why don't you try something like a dating website? That way you can get to know someone online first and will take the edge off your nerves of talking to people face to face, plus you could really meet someone, not just throw away something.
It won't really solve anything to be honest and you'll probably feel worse about yourself


Its great that girls think its a bit of a fairtytale about the whole virginity thing but at the end of the day, the pressure is on the men to perform in bed as he essentially has the tools, if he's knobbing a woman he likes for the first time and he ha waited this long to lose, he'll barely get it in without cumming so I think its ok to atleast get some experience
Reply 72
Original post by hollywoodbudgie
Also, the amount of sexual experience you've had certainly doesn't correlate with how attractive someone is. It probably says more about the kind of girls the guy goes for.


Except it does because if you are rubbish in bed, that is a massive turn off for most people.

Girls don't want to waste their time tutoring a guy in bed... they'll just leave and go for the guy who knows exactly what he's doing and with years of experience on how to satisfy a woman.

You can be somewhat attractive, but that is irrelevant if you're socially and sexually inept, which if you're a 25 year virgin you probably will be.
Reply 73
Original post by Anonymous
Right guys I'm a bit embaressed talking about this but I feel I have to because it bothers me an awful lot.

I don't go out an awful lot, infact at all. I suffered from a lot of social problems when I was younger, I was so painfully shy around 16-22 that it hindered my ability to make friends, particularly at university. I never made the effort to try to address it so all I did was become a social recluse.

I recently did badly in my postgraduate exams (telecommunications msc) and attempted suicide, my brother returned from class early to prevent me however. I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically, and for the first time in my life I've decided to seek councilling to solve this, been to a gp and on anti-depressants. I've been requested for long term therapy, because they believe it might take me a long time to sort me out as its gone on for so long.

I feel such a massive failure both socially and academically. I feel tired of being me/failure and thus questioned whether or not I want to live anymore because the pain is becoming too great (hence why I was suicidal at that time).

One of the things that bothers me is that I've never had a girlfriend (not suprising), and that I'm still a virgin. Now this isn't because of the way I look, heck I could look like brad pitt/tom cruise and would still be a virgin because I'm such a social recluse and chose to be this way.

I'm quite a fit guy, go to the gym regularly, healthy, no appearance problems, but I don't make friends easily.

I recognise that while I could get better with therapy/councilling, I realise that being a virgin over the age of 25 is big drawback in society and is off putting to a lot of women when dating. I don't want to be going into my 30s being a virgin as it would be impossible to get a girlfriend. So I need to do something about it.

I'm not going to become a social king overnight so in the meantime I've considered potentially going down the very sad sad desperate route of doing it with an escort. But I feel I have no choice because of my age. I need the experiance and you're first time is never that great so the escort wont care and will probably teach me.

Its sound pathetic and desperate, but that's the way my life is at moment. Very down about it. Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?? Or should I just wait and see if the therapy helps me first and do it in time when I'm ready??

I feel massively under pressure tbh.


You feel truth here. Perhaps you should get a job feeling things.
>job earns money
>money buys happiness
>?????
>profit

& why does it bother you that you are a virgin?
(edited 11 years ago)
No. Go get laid but don't go to an escort 'cause you'll regret it straight away. Go to clubs/bars and drink a little and party and have a one-night stand. More honorable and easier as long as it isn't a super-ugly girl.
Original post by Stefan1991
Except it does because if you are rubbish in bed, that is a massive turn off for most people.

Girls don't want to waste their time tutoring a guy in bed... they'll just leave and go for the guy who knows exactly what he's doing and with years of experience on how to satisfy a woman.

You can be somewhat attractive, but that is irrelevant if you're socially and sexually inept, which if you're a 25 year virgin you probably will be.


Rubbish. Slappers might not like it but people interested in the long term wont mind. Some will see an opportunity to mold you to what they like. Some will like the idea of being your only love. Is romance totally alien to people in this thread?

You know a persons ability to bounce back from adversity is a pretty good criteria by which to judge a persons metal. Far more so than how a person reacts to things going right all the time and far far more than how often people get their ends away.
Reply 76
I think you need to ask yourself what you really want to gain from losing your virginity to an escort. Personally I think that sex can be a lot more than what an escort can offer. It won't be truly passionate and there won't be any connection or love behind it. I don't see why any potantial girlfriend would need to know that you're a virgin or why that should put them off if they really truly like you. I think you're better to wait and experience it properly, it'll be worth it!
Original post by green.tea
Rubbish. Slappers might not like it but people interested in the long term wont mind. Some will see an opportunity to mold you to what they like. Some will like the idea of being your only love. Is romance totally alien to people in this thread?

You know a persons ability to bounce back from adversity is a pretty good criteria by which to judge a persons metal. Far more so than how a person reacts to things going right all the time and far far more than how often people get their ends away.


Interesting post.

What do you mean by 'a persons metal'?
Reply 78
Dude,

You have nothing to worry about. I am in my 30's and I havent had sex yet. Don't use escort as it is only a time experience and is not worth it.

However if you choose to use escort; nobody here can stop you from going to one.
Original post by Anonymous
Is this the best way at my age to address my "v-card" issue?

Yes, so long as you don't fall for the escort, it should be the best first time ever as she will guide you through the whole act.

I say this as a regular user of escorts when I can't be bothered to go out to a club and pull.

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