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Mentally unstable because of racism and unsupportive parents
Hello I'm basically mentally messed up now.
I wasn't meant to be born in the first place anyway, my parents wanted to abort me (so goes the rumour, well I was born outside marriage - GREAT start!
) (why the hell didn't they btw? 
).
But anyway so I was born. I'm of mixed race, both my parents are not white (but they're not the same race if you get me) and they stupidly decided to conceive me in a Western country
In my early childhood my parents moved to a more rural area where I stuck out like a sore thumb and because of my weak and submissive personality (I'm a girl, so was bullied by both girls and guys) was bullied when I was about three to ten. Parents didn't do much, although my dad stepped in a bit during my earlier primary school years... which was good. No, teachers didn't do anything. I don't want to name and shame where I live, so won't.
Then in high school, my parents started having serious issues and divorced, my mum is domineering and used to yell, hit and shout at my dad, and... he fought back. They just used to fight, one time in year 7 I came home and there was blood everywhere and boxes were thrown about. Hmm.
My parents are not poor either, my dad has always held really good jobs and he could afford to send me to a private school but instead spent it on a car, and *another* woman which is what kinda led to my parents split
Anyway so yeah.
Because that's not all! In late highschool, this is where I HAVE to say the racism really started. This is the stuff, this is what led me to have multiple mental unstability. In later highschool when I was around 14-16 I was teased and abused racially by mainly guys, but some girls too. I was too scared to tell on them because of what they might do, in fact a prefect I knew had to tell on them for me because she felt concerned. My only strength was that I was smart and good at running so I tried really hard at those activities (academic and sport).
I did quite well, got into interschool comps etc. Now these things led me to do stupid things, I went thru a tomboy phase, I think punched a few people, things like that. Trouble with police. In college I moved schools and the people there heard about what I had 'done' at my previous school and I was unpopular there too (I had a bad start).
My life sucked
It doesn't now, uni has been good, but I just feel really mentally unstable now that everything seems to be catching up with me...
I get triggered by certain things I see on TV and I get mad and angry. Pls someone help me.
I wasn't meant to be born in the first place anyway, my parents wanted to abort me (so goes the rumour, well I was born outside marriage - GREAT start!
) (why the hell didn't they btw? ).But anyway so I was born. I'm of mixed race, both my parents are not white (but they're not the same race if you get me) and they stupidly decided to conceive me in a Western country
In my early childhood my parents moved to a more rural area where I stuck out like a sore thumb and because of my weak and submissive personality (I'm a girl, so was bullied by both girls and guys) was bullied when I was about three to ten. Parents didn't do much, although my dad stepped in a bit during my earlier primary school years... which was good. No, teachers didn't do anything. I don't want to name and shame where I live, so won't.
Then in high school, my parents started having serious issues and divorced, my mum is domineering and used to yell, hit and shout at my dad, and... he fought back. They just used to fight, one time in year 7 I came home and there was blood everywhere and boxes were thrown about. Hmm.
My parents are not poor either, my dad has always held really good jobs and he could afford to send me to a private school but instead spent it on a car, and *another* woman which is what kinda led to my parents split
Anyway so yeah.
Because that's not all! In late highschool, this is where I HAVE to say the racism really started. This is the stuff, this is what led me to have multiple mental unstability. In later highschool when I was around 14-16 I was teased and abused racially by mainly guys, but some girls too. I was too scared to tell on them because of what they might do, in fact a prefect I knew had to tell on them for me because she felt concerned. My only strength was that I was smart and good at running so I tried really hard at those activities (academic and sport).
I did quite well, got into interschool comps etc. Now these things led me to do stupid things, I went thru a tomboy phase, I think punched a few people, things like that. Trouble with police. In college I moved schools and the people there heard about what I had 'done' at my previous school and I was unpopular there too (I had a bad start).
My life sucked
It doesn't now, uni has been good, but I just feel really mentally unstable now that everything seems to be catching up with me...
I get triggered by certain things I see on TV and I get mad and angry. Pls someone help me.
Scroll to see replies
PS. Sorry about my long post Thanks for reading
Thanks for reading your not that anonymous who swore at the little 4 year old are you?
None of your business, I'm allowed to remain anonymous thankyou. I haven't said anything offensive to any member of this forum I am jst reporting my experiences.
Thankyou Talon I am definitely a girl 
Of course you could argue btw 16-18 I didn't look like one from the back (tomboy phase!), but yeah I'm a chick.
I am definitely a girl Of course you could argue btw 16-18 I didn't look like one from the back (tomboy phase!), but yeah I'm a chick.Talon
That was a guy. This is a girl.
It didnt actually say a sex in that 'police' thread,
and this anonymous has just said 'none of your business' so I take it this is the same person who swore at a little 4year old girl.
That is out of order.
But in response to the first post, lots of bad things happen to people in their youth, but you cant go taking it out on the people around you. You're in university now where people are somewhat more educated and less ignorent. surely you can make it a fresh start? how you acted in the past doesnt have to be how you act now. everyone has the ability to change. you could do so as of tommorow.
Ok fine I have another confession - during tomboy phase there was one guy I particularly loathed that was the pack leader of a gang of both guys and girls who used to bully me because of my colour.
One afternoon I couldn't help myself, he sneered at me... and I lost control!!!
Lol I knocked him out, cold! The police were called and everything
Was the beginning of the end, I was soo unpopular final years of college I can tell you!
One afternoon I couldn't help myself, he sneered at me... and I lost control!!!
Lol I knocked him out, cold! The police were called and everything
Was the beginning of the end, I was soo unpopular final years of college I can tell you!
Anonymous
It didnt actually say a sex in that 'police' thread,
and this anonymous has just said 'none of your business' so I take it this is the same person who swore at a little 4year old girl.
That is out of order.
But in response to the first post, lots of bad things happen to people in their youth, but you cant go taking it out on the people around you. You're in university now where people are somewhat more educated and less ignorent. surely you can make it a fresh start? how you acted in the past doesnt have to be how you act now. everyone has the ability to change. you could do so as of tommorow.
and this anonymous has just said 'none of your business' so I take it this is the same person who swore at a little 4year old girl.
That is out of order.
But in response to the first post, lots of bad things happen to people in their youth, but you cant go taking it out on the people around you. You're in university now where people are somewhat more educated and less ignorent. surely you can make it a fresh start? how you acted in the past doesnt have to be how you act now. everyone has the ability to change. you could do so as of tommorow.
Anonymous
But in response to the first post, lots of bad things happen to people in their youth, but you cant go taking it out on the people around you. You're in university now where people are somewhat more educated and less ignorent. surely you can make it a fresh start? how you acted in the past doesnt have to be how you act now. everyone has the ability to change. you could do so as of tommorow.
But in response to the first post, lots of bad things happen to people in their youth, but you cant go taking it out on the people around you. You're in university now where people are somewhat more educated and less ignorent. surely you can make it a fresh start? how you acted in the past doesnt have to be how you act now. everyone has the ability to change. you could do so as of tommorow.
Anonymous
THAT WASN'T ME! LOL I COULD NEVER SWEAR AT A LITTLE GIRL, I'M A FEMINIST!
thats good then. and that guy you knocked out. sounds like he deserved it.
what part of the country is it that you found was so ignorent?
I can't say
Ok I also sent the girl leader of a gang some hate mail and they found out it was me
But it was only like one letter, and they went extreme. They were like 'oh you're a psycho'
And I'm not! I'm normal. I just go a little stressed out!
Ok I also sent the girl leader of a gang some hate mail and they found out it was me
But it was only like one letter, and they went extreme. They were like 'oh you're a psycho'
And I'm not! I'm normal. I just go a little stressed out!
Frankly - stop trying to legitimise your own insecurities. I get the impression that you are basically saying "it's not my fault that x has gone wrong, it's everyone else's responsibility to keep me feeling happy and healthy". Ok, I am being slightly facetious, but sure "mentally unstable" is just a label you have given yourself to explain your irrational behaviour? Have you been diagnosed with mental illness?
*Katie*
Frankly - stop trying to legitimise your own insecurities. I get the impression that you are basically saying "it's not my fault that x has gone wrong, it's everyone else's responsibility to keep me feeling happy and healthy". Ok, I am being slightly facetious, but sure "mentally unstable" is just a label you have given yourself to explain your irrational behaviour? Have you been diagnosed with mental illness?
Talon
PS: I used to flip out when I was younger (around years 7-9). I learned to control my anger...
Yeah that was it! I just flipped! How do you control your anger Talon? I find it difficult.
Anonymous
Yep, I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorders before, forget which ones they were. I was 15 when my parents took me to a councellor who suspected I might have an anxiety disorder of some type, but they weren't sure what it was. Because it wasn't that serious.
And you think this has something to do with the fact that your parents wanted to abort you, and they weren't married?
I'm really not sure what the relevance is.*Katie*
And you think this has something to do with the fact that your parents wanted to abort you, and they weren't married? I'm really not sure what the relevance is.
I'm really not sure what the relevance is.Yes I have some anxiety disorders.
I find it hard to control my anger, I am agressive. Quietly agressive because I am shy in real life.
Anonymous
Thanks for your post
Yeah that was it! I just flipped! How do you control your anger Talon? I find it difficult.
Yeah that was it! I just flipped! How do you control your anger Talon? I find it difficult.
Well whem im pissed off or unhappy I just sit down and kind of meditate. I say kind off because it isnt as deep as that but it is nice an relaxing. Once you can do that quite well it becomes easier to "switch off" the anger in situations where is arises spontaineously (sp).
Try it in the dark at first. It is easier to start that way. Helps you sleep when agitated too.
It doesnt work for everyone, but it works for me. Also: Non-violent physical exertion, or atleast non-violent towards others, ie a good run or a punch bag. I have a punch bag at home. Very useful.
Oh, and Im very good at ignoring things...that arent doors. Doors are my one weakness. THEY MUST BE CLOSED!!!!!
Oh well time for bed. Coursework tomorrow.
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