Too high expectations of guys?

I'm not sure whether I act like this to push blokes away, prove myself right or just because I have really picky tastes but...I think I set pretty high standards (can't think of a better way to put it than that!) for blokes in that I have high expectations of them, and when they inevitably fail to meet them I feel almost vindicated! But at the same time I don't think I'm asking too much so think maybe I shouldn't sacrifice my "standards" because a bloke doesn't meet them.

The example from last night and one that's made me ask the question is I called a guy that fancies me (I like him a lot too) because I was in the middle of buying him a surprise but needed to know what size shirt he wore. His phone rang a couple of times and cut to voicemail so I left a quick one saying "ooh can you ring me back or text me your clothes size" and he text me saying "I'm watching telly right now, can you ring me in an hour or two" which is obviously no help to me when I'm in the shop holding the shirt. We haven't fought about it or anything like that (I don't pick blazing rows about such things lol) but when I didn't reply right off to a text he sent this morning he text again saying "blimey what have I done now??"

In all other areas of my life I'm the most laid back girl you'll ever meet but when it comes to men I guess I am very demanding. And I do get upset if he doesn't call when he says he will, but then I'm like "I don't care if you never call but don't say you will and the not do it". I try to lighten up about it but I can't seem to.

Reply 1

white_haired_wizard

Look, people can be just as demanding...'two can play that game'. Personally, i don't like to be pushed, i'm not one to be pushed...having it all your own way in a relationship is not a healthy thing at all. Good on him i say :wink:

Perhaps you're making him uncomfortable being too nice with him....

Reply 2

hitmanuk2k

Maybe he needs to know where he stands with you... clearly he's getting frustrated.

And as for the call back in 2 hours thing, perhaps he didn't listen to the voice mail and just text immediatley after seeing the missed call.

Reply 3

pendragon

Your standards are too high if you expect this kind of thing to never happen, but you do have a right to be annoyed when it does happen and tell him off, still I think it would be a bit of an over-reaction to make it a break up issue.

Reply 4

username47781

Well you gotta have some standards when your looking for a partner.

Reply 5

BlackHawk

Don't drop your standards when looking for a partner, you'll only end up disappointed.

never ever settle

From what you've said I wouldn't say that your expectations are too high. I know I wouldn't have particulary liked what he did. But on the other hand, you have to be a bit laid back sometimes and would agree with what pendragon said. Don't give up hope, there is someone out there that will fulfill your expectations.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

So do you guys n girls think I should hold out for someone who does call when they say they will?! I have to admit this had happened with every guy I've been out with and those little things niggle at me like mad.

It's not just the calling but that's the only example I can think of right now.

Reply 9

Anything

i'm like that and i can't help it it hurts me when it happens, so it's best to tell them how much you hate it then if they carry on forget it. don't settle

Reply 10

so_this_is_sam

sometimes you have to sacrifice your own needs in order to get where you want in life...

Reply 11

BlackHawk

When a guy really likes you and wants to be with you he will bend over backwards to make you happy, and you will want to for him. It's just a matter of waiting for the right person, or having fun with the wrong ones while you wait :wink: