The Student Room Group

When is it time to lie about how many people you've had sex with?

http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/29003
I found this article on another forum and thought it posed an interesting question, especially as there's another thread about the total number, and one night stands.


To all the girls I've loved before
When is it time to lie about how many people you've had sex with?

When looking for a partner: do you think there’s an (in)appropriate number of people to have slept with for a particular age/gender/orientation?

Or does it not matter to you? And should you lie or what?

For the record: I don't ask or care, but I still get asked by dates. I guess 10 < x < 30 is not an acceptable answer on several counts. For a straight woman under 30. What to do.

Bad sex and vacation sex don't count, right?


what do you all think?

and dont say 'its none of their business' because i think if im intimate enough to share sexual fluids with someone, i think they should be intimate enough with me to trust me with their past. i'd be gutted to think i was losing my V with another virgin only to find out afterward it was untrue

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
i think if someone i was on a date with was really that bothered by it.. i'd show them the way to the exit.
Reply 2
If someone asked me on a date I would be fairky annoyed as its not the sort of question you ask on a date. Its like me asking if they've had VD.

In prospective realtionship:
I would rather tell the truth, lies just get found out in the end. I'm not ashamed of the number.
Lp = 3a/4*(1/55*sr*((ei+1)/2))
Reply 4
Personally now's about the time to start lying although I never actually do as I don't especially want to go out with some one I have to lie to get.
Why would you have to lie? If somebody cant accept you for who you are then feck them!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats what I say anyway! Ive been with my BF for almost a year and I have never questioned how many sexual partners he has had....1) Because i dont particularly want to know and 2) Because its nothing to do with me!!!!!!!!!
Reply 6
i think all guys/girls lie.
i cant stand people who lie about their virginity.

i mean i can understand why you would lie - if a guy said he had been with like 57 people i would be grossed out and think he didnt value a)sex that much b) the women it was with c)intimacy d)long term monogamy e)was not trustworthy.f)may have STDsg) is insensitive

i mean a guy knows i havent slept with another guy, i will not sleep with him, and therefore i will not sleep with another guy behind his back. so having none/few partners means a)values sexual intimacy b)places value on emotions rather than body c)has self control d)is trustworthy e) is likely to be std free

so it does matter, and people who dont answer have something to hids.

an average number shows you are comfortable with your body and sex.

also, do i need to be honest at the start and say i dont believe in having sex and have never done so, or can i also just keep refusing my bf's advances and when he asks why i just say its none of their business
If it that much of an issue to your partner then you need to be asking yourself why!!
Reply 8
if they can say 'its none of your business' or 'why does it matter' can i say so too?can i also just keep refusing my bf's advances and when he asks why i just say its none of their business or do i need to be honest at the start and say im a virgin and dont believe in having sex
Just tell him the truth! If your a virgin then tell him...If he has a problem with that then thats his problem!
Reply 10
I don't see why it's such a big deal to know... I've never asked my boyfriend becasue his past is his past. But if he was to ask me then yeah, I would tell him the truth

I'm assuming that when people do ask their partners then they want the truth so yes people should be honest, but when asking be prepared for what could be an unexpected horrible truth...! (or not!)
Reply 11
traceyjhenry
Just tell him the truth! If your a virgin then tell him...If he has a problem with that then thats his problem!


but why should i be honest and tell a guy if all of you dotn need to and can pull the 'its not their business' card
Reply 12
shinytoy
but why should i be honest and tell a guy if all of you dotn need to and can pull the 'its not their business' card


Why do you need to make a decision based on what people on here think? At the end of the day the only person it will effect on this forum is you so it's up to you if you tell him or not
Reply 13
this isnt about me, i dont have a bf.

im just saying, is it fair for a virgin to refuse all advances of sex and give no reason, just as it is for you not to discuss your past?

do any of you lie? why? why does it matter?
shinytoy
but why should i be honest and tell a guy if all of you dotn need to and can pull the 'its not their business' card


Shinytoy!!! Im really confused!! Do you want to tell him the truth or not? If you do then DO if not then DONT!!!!!!!! There is no right or wrong answer to this one, its something you have to decide!
Like Driving-Miss-Janey has already said: If somebody asks you a question then they are wanting the truth!
Reply 15
Ok, fair enough

It is fair as long as the virgin bares in mind that the guy might not stick around... If somebody wouldn't have sex with me I would respect that if they told me why but if they didn't i would probably end up paranoid that it was something to do with me and upset that they couldn't be honest with me... My own personal opinion is that if someone can't be honest with you on any level then the relationship has no future, and surely if you're with someone it's because you like then so there shouldn't be any reason to not be honest. If they are pushing you too fast sexually then they clearly don't respect you....
Reply 16
i dont have a bf, this is a theoretical question.

im trying to understand why people in general feel they can be physically intimate with someone yet clam up totally to be emotionally intimate.

and why does the question 'how many is too many?' exist when it comes to sex?
Reply 17
its none of their buisness...
How many is too many? is just a general question and i wouldnt say that it just related to a BF/GF, it relates to society in general! I think people just become curious!
Reply 19
john!!
its none of their buisness...


Why not? You need to back up such a bold statement