Am I being selfish?

Right so I'll try and keep this short! Bascially Ive had quite a bad time the last 12 months, work issues, uni stress, bad health, an accident which knocked me for six, and I feel really down at the moment. I thought it would be nice for me and my boyfriend to have a holiday, for a week or so, nothing expensive, just a cheap package deal.

Ive spoken to my bf about this and he has flatly said no, and he's not going to change his mind. His reason is he "cant afford it", but I think he's just using that as an excuse, as I know he's not short on cash. The money isnt an issue for me as I want to pay for it out of the excess of my student loan, which I dont mind doing as I'll only waste it if I dont. Everytime I mention this he completely loses his temper and starts calling me a spoilt brat, which then descends into a huge argument. He keeps telling me to go away with someone else but to be honest, I havent got anyone I can go with.

Surely Im not being selfish wanting a holiday, a break to get away from it all? He knows what a crap year Ive had and at this very moment, it seems as though he really doesnt care about my wishes. We have been together 5 years and only once been away together- I just feel like he doesnt ever want to do anything or go anywhere, he is just quite happy to sit back and let the world go by.

So am I being selfish? I just want to know what you guys think as I just dont know what to do!

Reply 1

high priestess fnord

why dont u just go away with some girlfriends insted if hes being so insensitive?

Reply 2

username47781

Well if your willing to pay for it out of your student loan then where's the problem he sounds like a lazy idiot to me it would be a shame to end it but it seems he does not care about your needs and wishes and all the stuff you went through, i hate to say it but either have out with him and tell him your needs and if he doesn't wanna know dump him.

Reply 3

Monkey_Maiden

He does sound a little selfish to me, seeing as you're offering to pay. hugs

Reply 4

pumpkin7

you are definately not the selfish one.. he is. i mean, if you have had such a crap year, then you deserve a break and he should feel honoured that you are picking him to go with.

i should talk to him about it.. just nice and quietly without arguing, and see if he is having any problems which he isn't telling you about and try to get to the bottom of things.. it just seems very strange that he is turning down a free holiday with his girlfriend.. that is why i think there is something up and you should have a good chat to him.

Reply 5

Drogue

So he's selfish for saying he doesn't have the money? Surely if you've asked him if you can go on holiday together, and he says no he doesn't have the money, that's the end of the story? You're not selfish for wanting to go away, though I don't understand why you're pushing it. If you really want to, you can offer to pay for him, but remember it's his decision if he goes away, just as it's yours if you do.

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