The Student Room Group

Have any straight males here had a friend tell you theyre gay?

How did you react, particularly if you had NO idea and you always thought this guy was completely straight. He may have had girlfriends or just joined in girl chat with you etc.

If he was a decent mate would you give a crap? Or would you kind of take a step back after finding out

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Reply 1
I wouldnt judge, i ahve a bi mate and a gay mate, still play footie with them, hell the gay one was called a homophobe, I dont treat them any differently, what his sexual orientation is is his choice, as long as he doesnt come on to me I am good.
Reply 2
I don't think it makes any difference... I know a couple of gay guys and their preferences don't come into it. They are just treated like one of the guys and it works fine. They have never tried it one with anyone, and I don't know why people think gay guys are going to try it on with every guy they meet.

I think if this guy has just come out to you, you really do need to be supportive towards him. Why should it change his relationship with you? Would it make a difference if he changed girlfiends, for example? No. So, why should this be any different. If you can't get past this, or if it affects your toughts towards your friendship, you've really gotta ask how good a mate he was in the first place if you're going to let something like this affect your friendship.

If he was a good mate then it should make even less of a difference. I don't care what my friends are... they know I'm straight and thats all that matters.
Yes. Didn't care. He goes on about it more than me, anyway.
Reply 4
Aye, once. I don't look at the guy any differently now and I wasn't particularly shocked at the time. Much of that lack of shock was to do with the fact that I was in a drunken doze at the time but I doubt I'd have been that shocked even if i had been fully conscious. What I did find hilarious though was that a lot of his friends are rather pious homophobic preaching types, and yet they didn't seem to give a damn. Just goes to show how much easier it is to attack someone who can't hear you doing it. :rolleyes:
If the guy was a decent mate, then I'd have no problems about it.

But if the guy decided to try and tell you about it by shoving his hand down your trousers and then repeatedly try every time you see each other after that despite it being obvious the actions weren't welcome, then I'd respond with trying to never see him again and get angry at the mere thought of him for messing with me in this way. I should have just ignored the guy forever after the first time he tried this, but no, I thought he was a decent friend who I should give a chance to prove it Hw wrong was I :mad: :frown:
Reply 6
Anonymous
How did you react, particularly if you had NO idea and you always thought this guy was completely straight. He may have had girlfriends or just joined in girl chat with you etc.

If he was a decent mate would you give a crap? Or would you kind of take a step back after finding out



I wouldn't give a mother****ing ****.

He's still a friend so it's wrong to dump him.
I assume you;re gay and are planning on coming out to your straight guy mates??

Just make sure you don't become a novelty - because novelty wears off
Reply 8
I have tons of gay mates (well about 3 or 4) it really doesn't matter.
When I was at school someone in my year "came out of the closet" and it seemed that for a while the guys in my year (who were socially retarded so should not be considered a basis to judge boys in general) all felt a little nervous around this guy, i think in their minds they were worried it might make them look gay by hanging out with this guy or that he might fancy them.

After a couple of days though, when everyone found out that this declaration did not affect the guy's ability to play football or tell a joke, and that he didn't start wearing pink and prancing about bitching about celebrities, everyone's stereotyped image disappeared and everything was back to normal.

But the some of the guys who I work with who are gay are really camp, and others aren't but they are still able to have normal friendships with people of either sex.

The moral of the story is that now that we are in the 21st century, nobody, (apart from the bible and the elderly) have a problem with people expressing their sexuality so why should we?
Reply 9
Starsurfer
what his sexual orientation is is his choice,


Not so much.
Reply 10
Haven't had it happen to me, but wouldn't really mind if it did. You never know, it could well be me doing at some stage down the line.
Reply 11
andy_c
I don't think it makes any difference... I know a couple of gay guys and their preferences don't come into it. They are just treated like one of the guys and it works fine. They have never tried it one with anyone, and I don't know why people think gay guys are going to try it on with every guy they meet.

I think if this guy has just come out to you, you really do need to be supportive towards him. Why should it change his relationship with you? Would it make a difference if he changed girlfiends, for example? No. So, why should this be any different. If you can't get past this, or if it affects your toughts towards your friendship, you've really gotta ask how good a mate he was in the first place if you're going to let something like this affect your friendship.

If he was a good mate then it should make even less of a difference. I don't care what my friends are... they know I'm straight and thats all that matters.


Exactly mate!

We are still human, we don't go for every male; just like straight guys don't go for every female and jeez i wish the straight guys that think we will go for them would stop flattering themselves.

One's sexual orientation shouldn't effect your friendships.

I came out to my mates; none of them treat me any different. I'm still one of the lads.

Starsurfer
I wouldnt judge, i ahve a bi mate and a gay mate, still play footie with them, hell the gay one was called a homophobe, I dont treat them any differently, what his sexual orientation is is his choice, as long as he doesnt come on to me I am good.


Not at all. I most certainly didn't choose to be gay. Did you choose to be straight?
Reply 12
I mean what ever way he is orientated is ok, I dont mind, its like religion I guess, whether you chose to be gay or it just happens as a matter of enviroment is debateable and we are not here to do that now. I feel that as long as it is not harming me in anyway I have no problem with him, I mean he has changed since he came out, but not in a bad negative way.
Reply 13
Starsurfer
whether you chose to be gay or it just happens as a matter of enviroment is debateable


cept for neither of those things make you gay...

unless you're really fecked in the head, that is. lol
Reply 14
Starsurfer
as long as he doesnt come on to me I am good.



Yeah, those gays always come onto their straight friends and having a gay guy hit on you means you're not a man :rolleyes:
Reply 15
Starsurfer
I mean what ever way he is orientated is ok, I dont mind, its like religion I guess, whether you chose to be gay or it just happens as a matter of enviroment is debateable and we are not here to do that now. I feel that as long as it is not harming me in anyway I have no problem with him, I mean he has changed since he came out, but not in a bad negative way.


Religion is like being gay?
Reply 16
Well i told my mates n they were kool. It aint a big deal really - i cant stand ppl who play on it all the time and make a big song n dance about it. U shud support ur mate - nowts different.

N i dont get the religion thing either.... Ferg
Reply 17
mr jim
cept for neither of those things make you gay...

unless you're really fecked in the head, that is. lol



Then what is it that makes you gay?

And when I said it was like religion I meant that I dont mind what religion people are, as long as they dont try to impart their religious views on me, I have choice and I choose to be .....

And Im not saying that having a guy come onto you makes you any less of a man, I mean I would be flattered but on the other hand I would be freaked out.
Reply 18
wow am glad guys on here like that [me being gay n all]/
ive had straight mates, actually i only have 2 gay friends. my straight friends tease me all the time and we have loads of fun together. we still go out for drinks and i even hit on the ladies and even my boyfriend has a laugh. HOWEVER my straight friends will under no circumstance be seeen with my 2 gay friends which are a bit camp from time to time.
i guess it depends on the way a gay person is. i never had to pretend but i was never camp or anything like that. i only get a bit into the gay thing when am at the gay club with friends but really i do not like hanging out with queen types.

i am gay though and i had a straight friend since childhood telling me that he is gay. the guy used to date girls and everything is actually quite handome and was very popular. this winter, he just showed up at the local gay club and smiled at me, then got pissed and tried to kiss me and told me that he has been in love with me for so long, and the reason why he stop calling etc, was because he couldnt face it any longer and then he was devasted i got into a relationship...
Nope. I've told a few of my friends they're gay though.