Can't let go

About a couple of years ago I started to like this girl. And recently (last couple of months) I started seeing her more often, but only as a friend, and if we pass each other she always says hi or waves to me. A few weeks ago I found out that she has a boyfriend and I realise that I probaly won't have a chance and I haven't been seeing her as often, the thing is she still is really nice to me and is different to other girls I know. The thing is I can't seem to forget it, and stop thinking about her and how nice it would be to be with her. I also realise that I can't do anything about her boyfriend because that would just make her hate me and their bond stronger. I know I have to let it go but I just can't.

Reply 1

username47781

20

Keep her as a friend at least, but try seek out new interests and clubs etc you never know, no need to rush to get attached either.

Reply 2

shinyhappy

14

Sorry if I'm getting confused, but are you a girl? Would just clarify the situation a little...
EDIT: Sorry, I'm thick, I just read one part of your post wrong.

How do you know this girl? From school, work? Do you know how long she's been going out with her boyfriend? Do you ever hang out as part of a group of friends? Has she ever hinted that she likes you?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

shinyhappy

Sorry if I'm getting confused, but are you a girl? Would just clarify the situation a little...
EDIT: Sorry, I'm thick, I just read one part of your post wrong.

How do you know this girl? From school, work? Do you know how long she's been going out with her boyfriend? Do you ever hang out as part of a group of friends? Has she ever hinted that she likes you?

I've known her for thirteen years now, she and I sorta drifted apart through secondary school as we went to neighbouring boys/girls schools and we weren't allowed out at lunchtimes etc, but I started to see her again in the sixth form as the school don't care what we do in our free time. As far as I know they haven't been out for that long. I don't really "hang out" with her group of friends as they think I am below them, but she always has accepted me, and is fine with me around, and the others have gradually also accepted me, but I have stopped since I found out she has a bf, but I still have very strong feelings for her.

Finally, she is always really nice to me, not like most girls who just ignore me. Oh and I'm pretty sure that she knows I like her, but I haven't told her, I'm pretty sure she is smart enough.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I was in the same situation once. I still see her occassionally. Best I think to let her go... if her and her b/f break up, maybe then there will be hope, but for now, let her go. Better to do so sooner rather than later.

Reply 5

TommyD

1

Well who knows what the future brings.

But take this advice from me - if someone you like's in a happy relationship, 'waiting around for them' is pointless.

Its best for you to get a grip of the reality that shes happy, and if u spend however much time 'hoping she'll be available', you'll miss other great opportunities with equally great people.

Attractions a funny thing. When you like somebody, your mind is so set on getting them and refusing to give up.
Then when its all over with and you meet someone else, you're convinced that they're better and things turned out the way they should.
Its the way life goes.

But then again, if you can honestly tell yourself this is more that a 'crush,' (you know her very well i assume) then maybe i'm wrong.

Reply 6

so_this_is_sam

3

is it just me or is everyone in these kind of situations? i think girls and guys have to let the other one know where they stand because that seems to be the main problems around here. i think you should talk to her, i know she has a boyfriend, but what harm can talking do? Obviously you should never settle for second best and if shes not interested, you havent lost anything. At least you tried...

Reply 7

Damdam

1

I've been in this situation before. The best thing is to just let go*, it's not fair to affect their relationship.

Unless she comes to your first, you'll have to wait until (/see if) the break-up happens.

*EDIT - Just realised the topic name is 'Can't let go'... me = fool. You shouldn't really try to let go, hope is a good thing. But you need to remember that hope isn't everything, and it won't change the way she feels about you.

Reply 8

musicdreamer

1

I feel your pain. I've been in this situation a couple times. First time was with a girl I had a huge crush on but she had a boyfriend. After they had broken up I asked her out and she said no. At the time I was devastated but now I realise it wouldnt have worked anyway. Second time was with a girl I was friends and had a crush on but she also had a boyfriend. I'm still friends with her btw. Anyway my advice is to keep her as a friend cause she seems like someone worth keeping and see what happens but don't count on something happening. If it happens it happens but there's not much that you can do about it now.

Good luck

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

I can see what you are all getting at. I want to just be friends cos I know I cant have her, but everytime I see her, I just feel awkward. Its just not that easy to do as saying it.

Can't let go

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