Head Boy Speech : Opinions please!

Ok so I have to make a presentation in front of the pupils and teachers on why I should be head boy. Apologies for the long post but please let me know what you think. Opinions on the metaphors and images would be great.

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example – The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football – maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."

Ok so I have to make a presentation in front of the pupils and teachers on why I should be head boy. Apologies for the long post but please let me know what you think. Opinions on the metaphors and images would be great.

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example – The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football – maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."

Hi, my sister recently gained the position of head girl at my school, and one of the things that made her gain the majority vote was her complete passion and dedication that she radiated when discussing her possibility of being head girl. I don't know how the system works at your school, but one of the things my sister wrote in her letter (I know yours is slightly different as a speech) not only her hopes for the school but also what she has done for the school and the outcome. As i said i dont know how your college/ school works but one thing i would add is what you have done for your school. Also my sisters confidence and speech abilities also played a vital role in gaining the part, however from the jokes in your speech it seems like you too portray confidence.
Most importantly be yourself and best of luck! I hope I have helped

Ok so I have to make a presentation in front of the pupils and teachers on why I should be head boy. Apologies for the long post but please let me know what you think. Opinions on the metaphors and images would be great.

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example – The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football – maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."

Ok so I have to make a presentation in front of the pupils and teachers on why I should be head boy. Apologies for the long post but please let me know what you think. Opinions on the metaphors and images would be great.

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example – The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football – maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."

Ok so I have to make a presentation in front of the pupils and teachers on why I should be head boy. Apologies for the long post but please let me know what you think. Opinions on the metaphors and images would be great.

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example – The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football – maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."

Cut all of what I've highlighted. The rest is ok, but I wouldn't vote for you based on how pretentious the first two paragraphs are. I know you're probably a decent guy, but you come across poorly in these.

I agree with Hype, it might sound clever on paper, but personally I'd be cringing listening to that manure analogy! Mellow the political language a bit, but otherwise good!