The Student Room Group

Head Boy Speech : Opinions please!

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Reply 60
Original post by Shahrukh9000
.


As ridiculous as it sounds, make some jokes, either at your or the last head boys' expense :smile:
Original post by geetar
Get rid of the tree analogy.


If the school is the tree this speech is the manure.
i couldn't read anymore of that after the whole "lets strive for better days"..
are you for real? lol
but then again im an irresponsible, stubborn wreck..
do w/e
but that sounds cheesy af.
Reply 63
Original post by Shahrukh9000
So should I keep the tree/manure analogy because it is funny, will get me a few laughs and spices up the speech? Or should I get rid of it because it is stupid, cheesy and will result in me getting made fun of for the rest of the year?


With the latter a definite possibility, I would negate its inclusion. It sounds like something Nicola Murray would say off 'The Thick of It'.

Oh, and do a rap. Could go down almost as well as your speech.
Oh the memories, I hated that head boy/ girl ****, all it did was give th****es a real air of superiority while failing to achieve anything.
Reply 65
Original post by Bardem
With the latter a definite possibility, I would negate its inclusion. It sounds like something Nicola Murray would say off 'The Thick of It'.

Oh, and do a rap. Could go down almost as well as your speech.


A rap eh...? That's actually a good idea. I'll think about that one. Interesting....

I don't understand the "could go down almost as well as your speech" thing. Are you now suggesting that the rap will in fact make me look stupid like my speech will? Or are you implying that the rap will be funny and get me a lot of votes (unlike my speech)?
Reply 66
Original post by Shahrukh9000
A rap eh...? That's actually a good idea. I'll think about that one. Interesting....

I don't understand the "could go down almost as well as your speech" thing. Are you now suggesting that the rap will in fact make me look stupid like my speech will? Or are you implying that the rap will be funny and get me a lot of votes (unlike my speech)?


Definitely the latter, but combine the rap with the speech for a land slide victory. Lay down some beats, get some turntables etc. (And remember- cap backwards).
Reply 67
Original post by Bardem
Definitely the latter, but combine the rap with the speech for a land slide victory. Lay down some beats, get some turntables etc. (And remember- cap backwards).


cap backwards?
Reply 68
Original post by Shahrukh9000

"Hi everyone my name is ******. So I’ve been given three minutes to tell you why you should vote for me to be your Head boy. I could promise you a bunch of really awesome things, like a lot candidates would, but you’re too smart for that. So I’ll tell you the truth and what I think I can realistically do for this school and for all of you.
A poet named Henry David Thoreau once wrote “I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better”. With this Head Boy election here at St. Joseph’s, we also have an opportunity to make our days better.

I believe our college is like a tree; we are all different parts of this tree, for example The teachers are like the roots, which supplement us with knowledge and help us to grow. If I was Head Boy, I would be like the manure which the gardener spreads to enrich the ground, just that little added extra which can make a big difference.

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is though, the pupil council is absolutely useless. I’m not just saying that for no reason. I was a member of the council until my 5th year and I’m sure some of you will agree with me when I say that while we talked and discussed and acted as if we had a say, it was really the teachers that ran the show. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what they, what we say doesn’t really matter that much. Even if we were to show our complete disagreement, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not just making this up by the way, this is the case. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this.

2) I want St. Joseph’s to offer more clubs, tournaments and competitions. These can be sport and non-sport. For example, in terms of tournaments we could have badminton, basketball and obviously football maybe themed on the Euro 2012 tournament this year. In terms of non-sporty things, we could have monthly art and photography contests; we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

3) If I am Head Boy, I also promise to do my best to form a prom committee, with people from 5th and 6th year, to organise a brilliant prom for you all. Next years prom might not be on your minds right now, especially for all the 5th years, but in a few months you’ll start thinking about it and it’ll become much more important.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm, whenever called upon.
I have the compassion to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet have a good sense of humour.
So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming demeanour, although you might be tempted to do that. Vote for me because you have excellent taste and superb decision making skills!

Our days might not be longer but they can sure be better."


I have edited my speech to the following. Please everyone read over this new version and let me know if it's any better. (I don't see how it can be worse haha)


Hi everyone, my name is ******. Right off the bat I just want to make sure we understand each other. Vote me or I will kill you. No seriously. I will. Just kidding :wink:

Anyway I’m applying for head boy for three main reasons. Number one is that I appreciate how much this school has done for me and genuinely want to give something back, secondly I want to have a positive impact on St Joseph’s and leave next year knowing I did something worthwhile for the school. The last reason I’m applying for Head Boy is that my sister said she would give me a fiver if I made a speech. So wherever you are sister, you owe me a fiver! (Sister will be in audience by the way)

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is, many pupils have told to me that the pupil council could be better. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what we say doesn’t matter as much as it should. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this and make the council more about making our opinions and thoughts matter.

2) A lot of people have told me that there isn’t much to during lunch, apart from going to one of the shops like “D’s” or “Heathers”. Pupils have told me it would be good if there were more clubs, tournaments or competitions during lunch. If that’s the case then I would definitely try and get some more of these things up and running. These could be lunchtime sports clubs like basketball or badminton or even groups like a debating group or a gaming group. Just chatting during lunch is cool but it would be nice to have other options.

3) If there is enough interest, we could even have tournaments as well the new clubs which would be on offer. For example a Euro 2012 themed football tournament, or badminton, basketball, dodgeball, competitions. We could have art competitions or photography contests. If there is enough interest in any activity I would love to organise these for you.

4) Coming back to the gaming group, we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

Apart from what I’ve said, if any of you have any concerns or problems then I will be here for you. I’m quite approachable and would be happy to hear about anything that’s bothering you or any ideas or concerns you may have. If you don’t want to talk to me personally for whatever reason then I could set up some sort of communication system. The point is that I will be here for you.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm and hopefully I will earn your trust in time.
I have the willingness and desire to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet hopefully still have a good sense of humour. So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming personality. Vote for me if you want your voice to be heard, your ideas to be considered and your experience in your next year at school to be the best it can be. Thanks for listening everyone.
Reply 69
Original post by Shahrukh9000
I have edited my speech to the following. Please everyone read over this new version and let me know if it's any better. (I don't see how it can be worse haha)


Hi everyone, my name is ******. Right off the bat I just want to make sure we understand each other. Vote me or I will kill you. No seriously. I will. *Wait a few seconds* Just kidding :wink:

Anyway I’m applying for head boy for three main reasons. Number one is that I appreciate how much this school has done for me and genuinely want to give something back, secondly I want to have a positive impact on St Joseph’s and leave next year knowing I did something worthwhile for the school. The last reason I’m applying for Head Boy is that my sister said she would give me a fiver if I made a speech. So wherever you are sister, you owe me a fiver! (Sister will be in audience by the way)

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is, many pupils have told to me that the pupil council could be better. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what we say doesn’t matter as much as it should. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this and make the council more about making our opinions and thoughts matter.

2) A lot of people have told me that there isn’t much to during lunch, apart from going to one of the shops like “D’s” or “Heathers”. Pupils have told me it would be good if there were more clubs, tournaments or competitions during lunch. If that’s the case then I would definitely try and get some more of these things up and running. These could be lunchtime sports clubs like basketball or badminton or even groups like a debating group or a gaming group. Just chatting during lunch is cool but it would be nice to have other options.

3) If there is enough interest, we could even have tournaments as well the new clubs which would be on offer. For example a Euro 2012 themed football tournament, or badminton, basketball, dodgeball, competitions. We could have art competitions or photography contests. If there is enough interest in any activity I would love to organise these for you.

4) Coming back to the gaming group, we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

Apart from what I’ve said, if any of you have any concerns or problems then I will be here for you. I’m quite approachable and would be happy to hear about anything that’s bothering you or any ideas or concerns you may have. If you don’t want to talk to me personally for whatever reason then I could set up some sort of communication system. The point is that I will be here for you.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm and hopefully I will earn your trust in time.
I have the willingness and desire to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet hopefully still have a good sense of humour. So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming personality. Vote for me if you want your voice to be heard, your ideas to be considered and your experience in your next year at school to be the best it can be. Thanks for listening everyone.


The whole opening thing is horrible, please stop it. Everything from the 'vote for me or I will kill you' right through to the shout out to your sister, who will then be bullied about this forever more.

You say you have three things and then list 4.

You don't want to be quite approachable you want to just be approachable.

Get rid of the good looks and charming personality. You do not come across as charming so unless you are incredibly popular and everybody knows you as charming in real life this will just come across as conceited and perhaps arrogant. Everyone has already told you this, I don't know why you have kept this in.
Reply 70
Ok please suggest to me what to do for the opening? I have no idea what to do.

I said I had 3 reasons for presenting, which I list. The 4 things I say are ideas or things I plan to do.

Ok

Noted, I forgot about it in my editing. I'll change it now
Reply 71
Original post by Shahrukh9000
I have edited my speech to the following. Please everyone read over this new version and let me know if it's any better. (I don't see how it can be worse haha)


Hi everyone, my name is ******. Right off the bat I just want to make sure we understand each other. Vote me or I will kill you. No seriously. I will. *Wait a few seconds* Just kidding :wink:

Anyway I’m applying for head boy for three main reasons. Number one is that I appreciate how much this school has done for me and genuinely want to give something back, secondly I want to have a positive impact on St Joseph’s and leave next year knowing I did something worthwhile for the school. The last reason I’m applying for Head Boy is that my sister said she would give me a fiver if I made a speech. So wherever you are sister, you owe me a fiver! (Sister will be in audience by the way)

Some of the things I’ve thought about for the school are:

1) I want the students to have a voice in St Joseph’s. For that we have a pupil council. The thing is, many pupils have told to me that the pupil council could be better. A lot of important decisions have been made in the school by the teachers and though the pupil council is called to meet and discuss these decisions, what we say doesn’t matter as much as it should. If you vote for me as Head Boy, I will do my best to change this and make the council more about making our opinions and thoughts matter.

2) A lot of people have told me that there isn’t much to during lunch, apart from going to one of the shops like “D’s” or “Heathers”. Pupils have told me it would be good if there were more clubs, tournaments or competitions during lunch. If that’s the case then I would definitely try and get some more of these things up and running. These could be lunchtime sports clubs like basketball or badminton or even groups like a debating group or a gaming group. Just chatting during lunch is cool but it would be nice to have other options.

3) If there is enough interest, we could even have tournaments as well the new clubs which would be on offer. For example a Euro 2012 themed football tournament, or badminton, basketball, dodgeball, competitions. We could have art competitions or photography contests. If there is enough interest in any activity I would love to organise these for you.

4) Coming back to the gaming group, we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school.

Apart from what I’ve said, if any of you have any concerns or problems then I will be here for you. I’m quite approachable and would be happy to hear about anything that’s bothering you or any ideas or concerns you may have. If you don’t want to talk to me personally for whatever reason then I could set up some sort of communication system. The point is that I will be here for you.

I realise that, being Head Boy isn’t about being better than anyone else. It’s about having the trust of the student body to organise and represent them with honesty and enthusiasm and hopefully I will earn your trust in time.
I have the willingness and desire to listen, the ability to always work hard, yet hopefully still have a good sense of humour. So don’t vote for me just because of my good looks and charming personality. Vote for me if you want your voice to be heard, your ideas to be considered and your experience in your next year at school to be the best it can be. Thanks for listening everyone.


I didnt read it all, but get rid of the "anyway" after the opening, its not formal and sounds casual.
To be honest I think its weak- comparing it to the standards of my school, I don't think you come across as strong as you perhaps would like- I think
that you have the material and its clear you want to be Head Boy, but my advice is re-draft it (without sounding cheeesy) from the "heart", Oh and i'm
not sure about the humour, but if thats what the people of your school like then, go for it for votes sakes.
(edited 11 years ago)
OP I'll be honest.. if someone read that out in my school I'd laugh at them.
Reply 73
Lol, replace the tree analogy, with

"I had a dream"


(that one day I'd be the manure of the school) :rofl:
At least say fertiliser?
Reply 74
Original post by Miracle Day
OP I'll be honest.. if someone read that out in my school I'd laugh at them.


Ok thanks for your honesty. What would you change to make it better?


Original post by sophie5
I didnt read it all, but get rid of the "anyway" after the opening, its not formal and sounds casual.
To be honest I think its weak- comparing it to the standards of my school, I don't think you come across as strong as you perhaps would like- I think
that you have the material and its clear you want to be Head Boy, but my advice is re-draft it (without sounding cheeesy) from the "heart", Oh and i'm
not sure about the humour, but if thats what the people of your school like then, go for it for votes sakes.


The 'anyway' is meant to sound casual. People have been telling me to be more conversational, you think that's a bad thing?

I removed the tree analogy and the Thoreau quote, what else is there that's cheesy?

If you can, tell me how I can improve the humour.
Reply 75
I appreciate all the opinions, keep 'em coming
Reply 76
Original post by Axion
Lol, replace the tree analogy, with

"I had a dream"


(that one day I'd be the manure of the school) :rofl:
At least say fertiliser?


I removed that line. I'll put the edited version of the speech in the first post.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 77
Original post by Shahrukh9000
I removed that line. I'll put the edit in the first post.


I'd remove this:

"4) Coming back to the gaming group, we could form a group of people who know a lot about computers and gaming to maybe become a gaming group which could even develop some small, free computer games for the school."

Replace it with something that addresses a wider range of people and will impress teachers such as to "implement pupils ideas and help create a community where we are all equal and where a healthy working and enjoyable environment is created". You can put that into some sort of paragraph.

REMEMBER, the content is 33% of the workload. Your speech itself must be engaging and show you are a worthy candidate.
Reply 78
For a bit of a joke you could add in "The classroom should be the epicentre of our learning where teachers can fully engage the students, and where students can actually enjoy learning (then you mutter without eye contact) with the exception of teacher X's (who must be a fun teacher who makes jokes) dry banter
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Shahrukh9000
Ok thanks for your honesty. What would you change to make it better?


I would make it informal and casual, and show like you're not taking it that seriously. Because if you lose it'll be so embarassing for you :3

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