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Personality over looks?

guest1984

I know this topic has been done a million times!

Bascially, at the start of the semester. I though i found the special girl, at the time, i though she was the one. She was very nice and friendly and good looking too. I planned to ask her out after exams have finish.

The last week, i saw a bad side to her, i couldn't imagine her being like that a few weeks ago. Its such a turnoff, i gone off her, and don't want to see her again after university has finish.

Theres this other girl i like, shes less goodlooking, but really friendly, and doesn't have a bad side to her. Tho, i ain't too keen on going out with her

What does everyone else think?

I proberly get alot of insults, knowing how some people are in this forum. If you don't have anything construtive to say, please don't post

thanks

:smile:

Reply 1

Talon

18

A girls looks arent going to help if she is a right cow. Was the "bad side" brought on by something though? Stress, illness maybe...

Ofcourse while looks arent the only consideration, there are limits...

Reply 2

guest1984

OP

Talon

A girls looks arent going to help if she is a right cow. Was the "bad side" brought on by something though? Stress, illness maybe...

Ofcourse while looks arent the only consideration, there are limits...

its a long story, i don't want to bored you :smile:

Reply 3

username47781

20

If a girl looks stunning but only wants one night stands and has already had a string of one night stands and wanted to go out with me i would be put off as well.
But if a girl who wasn't so good looking but was brainy and didn't have anything bad about her, i know who i'd rather be going with.

Reply 4

TommyD

1

Yeah personality is megaly important!

You just need to ask yourself, when all the lust has died away from the relationship, which one of them will still draw your attraction to them as an individual.

Looks start the ball rolling, but at the end of the day you gota go for someone
-you trust
-can have a decent conversation with
-find interesting on more than a physical level

Hope this helps :p:

Reply 5

hitmanuk2k

Personality means sod all if you are not attracted to them, which by the sounds of it you are not. That, by the way, could have nothing to do with looks.

Reply 6

Damdam

1

Everyone has their good and bad attributes. Unfortunately for some, theirs are more noticable than others.

Reply 7

Schmokie Dragon

17

If you arn't keen, don't bother. There is no obligation to date people who are nice, but who you don't really fancy. That's what friends are for!

So become friends with her. See her as a mate. You may well end up becoming very fond of her.

But persoanlity over looks in a long term relationship anyday.

Reply 8

guest1984

OP

Some good advice guys! :biggrin:

I am 21, and never found the perfect girl yet

The thing is, there are a few girls chasing me or definetly like me, who knows! But they are not my type.

I think i should just concentrate on my studies, and let destiny happens, if it ever does

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

guest1984

Some good advice guys! :biggrin:

I am 21, and never found the perfect girl yet

The thing is, there are a few girls chasing me or definetly like me, who knows! But they are not my type.

I think i should just concentrate on my studies, and let destiny happens, if it ever does

Reply 10

Jack0

You need to find the magical combination: Beauty, personality and relatively low self esteem (in my case anyway - so she'd consider going out with me!). Sadly you never tend get all three.

Reply 11

Freckles

12

Personality is more important than looks, but you have to be attracted to the person. I mean, I would go out with someone even if they aren't my usual type or extremely handsome. If I really like someone, I may as well find them attractive even though they aren't traditionally good-looking. But if you just aren't attracted to her at all, then don't do it. If you just think she's not as good-looking as someone else but you can see yourself with her, then go for it. You just can't force it. If there's no physical appeal, then you can't help it.

Reply 12

Sexy Plexi

5

Jack0

You need to find the magical combination: Beauty, personality and relatively low self esteem (in my case anyway - so she'd consider going out with me!). Sadly you never tend get all three.

Don't be so hard on yourself!!!

Reply 13

Segat1

16

tbh, i think the person you fall for is going to be beautiful in your eyes anyway. the initial attraction might not be there but this is why you have to talk to everyone and give them a chance - its so superficial to discount someone cos they aren't hot - you may miss out out a very special person.

Reply 14

Sexy Plexi

5

segat1

tbh, i think the person you fall for is going to be beautiful in your eyes anyway. the initial attraction might not be there but this is why you have to talk to everyone and give them a chance - its so superficial to discount someone cos they aren't hot - you may miss out out a very special person.

I agree with the first part of your post- it all depends on how you see your partner as oppsed to how he/she is perceived by others. Whilst I myself talk to people that approach me in clubs/ on the street or wherever because want my no./ to take me out, I generally talk to them if they seem decent enough, but I wouldn't go out with someone if I didn't find them attractive initially, you either fancy them or you don't IMO. I want the whole package- beauty inside and out (and no, this doesn't mean they have to look like a model.)

Reply 15

Segat1

16

johnnysgirl

I agree with the first part of your post- it all depends on how you see your partner as oppsed to how he/she is perceived by others. Whilst I myself talk to people that approach me in clubs/ on the street or wherever because want my no./ to take me out, I generally talk to them if they seem decent enough, but I wouldn't go out with someone if I didn't find them attractive initially, you either fancy them or you don't IMO. I want the whole package- beauty inside and out (and no, this doesn't mean they have to look like a model.)

Lets say you have a friend, who is nice and you get on REALLY well. You don't think they're totally hot but one day you realise you do fancy them and you find them gorgeous - thats what I am talking about - looks only get you so far - you still need to have conversation and thoughts with each other. Then again I am 25 and got over the pick hot guys thing a while ago.

EDIT: One of the best guys I went out with looked like Billy Mitchell off East Enders. Such a great guy! We had so much fun together.... *misses him*

Reply 16

Sexy Plexi

5

segat1

Lets say you have a friend, who is nice and you get on REALLY well. You don't think they're totally hot but one day you realise you do fancy them and you find them gorgeous - thats what I am talking about - looks only get you so far - you still need to have conversation and thoughts with each other. QUOTE]

Oh okay. Yes I know exactly what you mean!!

Reply 17

Monkey_Maiden

11

Anne*UK*06

Personality is more important than looks, but you have to be attracted to the person. I mean, I would go out with someone even if they aren't my usual type or extremely handsome. If I really like someone, I may as well find them attractive even though they aren't traditionally good-looking. But if you just aren't attracted to her at all, then don't do it. If you just think she's not as good-looking as someone else but you can see yourself with her, then go for it. You just can't force it. If there's no physical appeal, then you can't help it.

Agree totally :smile:

I felt quite bad a while ago as one of my best mates confessed he really liked me, he has the best personality but I just wasn't attracted to him and couldn't force it even though I tried.
With my ex, I though he was good looking but not in the way brad piitt is but as I got to know him he had the most amzing personality ever and was so sweet, While I was dating him he seemed to get more gorgeous everyday hehe

Reply 18

bedbug

14

Monkey_Maiden

Agree totally :smile:

I felt quite bad a while ago as one of my best mates confessed he really liked me, he has the best personality but I just wasn't attracted to him and couldn't force it even though I tried.

That's happened to me.. one of my best friends who I thought only liked me as a friend admitted he'd liked me for a while and although I got on with him so well I couldn't force it.

You're either attracted to someone or you're not but that isn't purely physical.

Reply 19

musicdreamer

1

segat1

tbh, i think the person you fall for is going to be beautiful in your eyes anyway.

Exactly

Personality over looks?

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