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Eru Iluvatar
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#21
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#21
(Original post by happysunshine)
Oh lighten up and get a sense of humour.
I've got one, but i don't think its funny to make jokes like that, thats all.
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#22
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#22
I got a load of the cockle picker jokes through the old email, showed them to my gf (who is chinese) and she found them funny. Still its probably a bit soon for disaster jokes
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serious narb
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#23
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#23
(Original post by Iluvatar)
So people dying is funny now?
oh come on lighten up :rolleyes:

"More information was released today about the disaster in Morcambe. On being interviewed a survivor said;

'we were told to stop picking when water get to knee high.'

It appeared that confusion arose as Nee Hi was sat in the van counting the cockles.

The investigation continues..."

"Names of victims of the recent disaster at Morecombe have been
released;

Way din
Sin kin
Drow nin
Tye dis hi
Lef tu di
See chop ee
"


"Morcombe flood warning - chinks found in sea defence"


these are better
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Eru Iluvatar
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#24
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#24
(Original post by sillynarb2)
oh come on lighten up :rolleyes:
Sorry. I just don't think telling jokes about this sort of thing is right, thats all.
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serious narb
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Iluvatar)
Sorry. I just don't think telling jokes about this sort of thing is right, thats all.
don't think any harm is meant by them, jokes are always made about topical issues without any feeling, no offence should be taken...
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Eru Iluvatar
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#26
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#26
(Original post by sillynarb2)
don't think any harm is meant by them, jokes are always made about topical issues without any feeling, no offence should be taken...
Well most topical issues i would not have though offensive. But when people die in those sorts of circumstances, it is not appropriate to make jokes about it, in my opinion.
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serious narb
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Iluvatar)
Well most topical issues i would not have though offensive. But when people die in those sorts of circumstances, it is not appropriate to make jokes about it, in my opinion.
fair enough, i find the jokes funny though..
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Eru Iluvatar
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#28
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#28
A duck waddles into a bar and hops on a stool. The bartender, irritated, says, "What'll you have?"

The duck says, "Got any fish?"

The bartender spits and says "We don't have fish here, We serve drinks. Now get out!"

The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.

The next day, the same duck waddles into the same bar, hops on a stool, looks the bartender in the eye and asks, "Got any fish?"

The bartender, irritated, says, "I told you yesterday we don't serve fish here, we serve drinks, now GET OUT!"

The duck hops off the stool and waddles out.

The next days the same duck waddles into the same bar and hops on a stool, looks at the bartender, and asks: "Got any fish?"

The bartender, infuriated, POUNDS his fist on the bar and yells at the duck. "I told you two times we don't serve fish here, we serve drinks! If you ask me ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar! NOW GET OUT!"

With that the duck shrugged, hopped off the stool, and waddled out.

The next day, the same duck waddled into the same bar, hopped on a stool, looked the bartender in the eye and asked: "Got any nails?"

The bartender, puzzled, said "No."

The duck then looked him square in the eye and said, "Got any fish?"
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winorloose
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#29
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#29
Irish Jokes are the best :

This Irish guy walks into a bar one afternoon at 3 p.m. and orders three pints of Guinness. The bartender obliges, whereupon the gentleman drinks them down, pays the bill, and leaves. The next day, the same guy walks in the bar at the same time, orders the same three pints, drinks them one-two-three, pays, and leaves. This goes on for a few more days. One afternoon, the bartender's curiosity gets the best of him, and he asks the guy, "How come you walk in here the same time every day and down three pints and leave?"

"Me and me two brothers, we have a deal that wherever we are, we have a beer for ourselves and for each other at 3 in the afternoon each day." The bartender replies, "Why, that's as fine a tradition as I've ever heard."

One day, the guy doesn't come in. Nor the next day. Two weeks go by before he comes in. "Two pints of Guinness please," he asks.

The bartender looks at him quizzically. "If you don't mind me askin', how's yer family doin'?"

"Oh, me two brothers are as hale and hearty as ever, and me parents are as fit as someone half their age, thanks."

"Well, I couldn't help but notice you only ordered two pints today," the bartender replies.

"Ah, you see, I'm an alcoholic I found out, and I've been in rehab for the last two weeks, so I'm on the wagon"
.
.
.
.
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT!! SPIT IT OUT YOU *******!!!!"
.
.
.
.
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin’ fools. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later, the same Irishman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.

“Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says “Yes,” and he asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and askes, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street and try it to see if I could do it first.”
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happysunshine
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#30
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#30
How can anyone find long stories funny?
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Eru Iluvatar
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#31
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#31
(Original post by happysunshine)
How can anyone find long stories funny?
Alot easier than jokes about people who tragically died.
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happysunshine
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#32
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#32
(Original post by Iluvatar)
Alot easier than jokes about people who tragically died.
But we laugh at death on the surface (some could say it helps see us death in a better life) we don't laugh because we seriously believe it was a good thing that they died.
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Eru Iluvatar
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#33
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#33
(Original post by happysunshine)
But we laugh at death on the surface (some could say it helps see us death in a better life) we don't laugh because we seriously believe it was a good thing that they died.
Well i don't laugh at death, for any reason. And i certainly don't tell jokes about people who have died (except that one about the welsh footballer who's gone up to heaven etc., but that isn't about a real person).
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happysunshine
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#34
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#34
(Original post by Iluvatar)
Well i don't laugh at death, for any reason. And i certainly don't tell jokes about people who have died (except that one about the welsh footballer who's gone up to heaven etc., but that isn't about a real person).
I suppose I'll have to accept that

Although if anyone would like to be kept entertained with a collection of my sick jokes just ask.
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me!
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#35
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#35
what looks like a pigeon but flies (sp) backwards?
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Eru Iluvatar
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#36
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#36
(Original post by happysunshine)
I suppose I'll have to accept that

Although if anyone would like to be kept entertained with a collection of my sick jokes just ask.
Well sick jokes i don't mind at all, as long as they aren't along these sorts of lines.
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Mampi
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#37
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#37
2 pubes sitting on the rim of a toilet bowl
One pube goes to the other, " how long you staying for then mate"
Other pube " till I get pissed off".
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happysunshine
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#38
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#38
(Original post by Iluvatar)
Well sick jokes i don't mind at all, as long as they aren't along these sorts of lines.
Oh they all are. Maybe worse.

But to me they are a joke and I take them on surface value only.
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Eru Iluvatar
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#39
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#39
(Original post by me!)
what looks like a pigeon but flies (sp) backwards?

A pigeon flying backwards?
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me!
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#40
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#40
(Original post by Iluvatar)
A pigeon flying backwards?
YES! How did you know? You heard it before?! hehehe
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