Regret losing my virginity.

I regret losing my virginity and not losing it to my loving boyfriend whom i love so much and live with. He is my first serious boyfriend and i made a stupid mistake by losing it to someone who I worked with, who i found sexy (you can say my fantasy was fulfilled), if i can say this but i didnt like as a person and whom i didnt think in serious terms. At the same time, i also liked my future boyf, who also works with me but again my feelings were really not there for him in that way. I was 18 (now nearly 19), about to go away to uni (or so i thought-i ended up living at home for a bit), and wanted to lose my virginity as i couldnt see any potential reltionship out there. We txted dirty for a bit and then one afternoon(it was all planned), we had sex. He was gentle, it was ok and at the time i didnt regret it. We didnt want nothing else and it didnt and hasnt affected us at work. I got together with david 2-3 months after and we didnt have sex for 2 months. It is so loving and special and i to god wish i hadnt done it in the way i did. I feel a slag, almost degraded and it has really upset me-it was my own fault, we werent drunk and it was kind of planned, but hindsight is a wonderful thing. So when i see these threads, moaning about not having lost it, it is special and you might not think it now (i didnt at the time, although i had before), but just think before you lose something that can never be recovered. Has anyone else done anything similar?

Reply 1

Barny

17

Get over it, how is regretting it helping anything?

Reply 2

Unregistered

OP

imasillynarb

Get over it, how is regretting it helping anything?

that really helped me, thanks. :mad:

Reply 3

Little Girl Red

1

I think virginity is a big deal and you only realise once you have lost it. I regret losing my virginity too, but I think the only thing to do is to concentrate on the relationship that you are in now. If it helps, maybe talk to your boyfriend about it.
Sleeping with one other boy before him does not make you a slag. You actually knew this guy well and liked him etc etc, it's not like you met him in a club and had a sordid drunken one night stand where you never saw him again and were left wondering about STDs. What you did wasn't in the context of a loving relationship but it was still about an expression of how you felt for each other.

Try to let it go and focus on your amazing boyfriend. I think that it is a measure of how much you care for him, that you wished you had lost your virginity to him. Enjoy the relationship and don't dwell on the past.

Reply 4

andy_c

7

I think it's nice you've posted this story to help those who are moaning about not losing it... I hope that they appreciate it.

You obviously can't undo this as once it's gone it's gone, but I would just say come to terms with this and learn from it - in future don't do things you aren't ready for.

I hope that your post will be able to help others not make the same mistake, so some good should hopefully come from this.

Reply 5

jayne87

8

that was a really lame reply...

anyways i think what you need to do just need to try and well not forget, but accept that it happened that way and move on because it is true that you cant change it now

just look to your future and all the fun you will have with your boyfriend :smile:

xxx

Reply 6

x-CrAzY-x

Yes ive had exactly the same experience - losing my v to someone i lusted after and i do regret it ALOT! There is no use beating yourself up about it... what happened, happened and there is nothing that you can do about it.

Reply 7

Barny

17

loobylou1987

that really helped me, thanks. :mad:

Great, now you can get on with your bloody life.

Reply 8

Drogue

19

I have to say I don't see what's so bad about what you did. What would have changed by waiting? If you regret it, that's your personal thing, but I know in that situation I wouldn't have regretted it. I lost my virginity 7 months into a serious relationship (due to a *huge* mix-up where we each thought the other one wanted to wait - quite sweet really), but I wouldn't have really minded how it had happened, with hindsight. Every time I've had sex with someone I loved it was special. At least as special as it was the first time. It's the emotion that makes sex special, not whether it's your first time or not. What would be different about sex with your boyfriend if you had lost your virginity to him? It's already special, and my guess is it wouldn't have made it any more special.

Reply 9

hitmanuk2k

Drogue

What would be different about sex with your boyfriend if you had lost your virginity to him? It's already special, and my guess is it wouldn't have made it any more special.

I think her point is that she did it outside of an actual relationship, which makes it - to her - seem less special than it would of been had it been with her boyfriend. But as has already been said, there isn't much point having regrets in life. Though that's easy said than done.

Reply 10

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

I wish I hadn't lost mine the way I did (or with who I did lol) but these things can't be changed so beating yourself up about it is only going to make you feel worse. You know that if you'd known your boyf then it would have been him, accept you made a bad decision and try to forget about it. :smile:

Reply 11

anjimcflanji

1

I have the same thing, but the way I view it as that at least it was my choice no one forced me into it, I didn't get pregnant so it could have been worse. I regret it but at the time I thought it was the best decision to lose it at that moment in time. Be thankful you're in a relationship now and can have sex with someone you love, I'm not so lucky and it's put me off sex!!!

Reply 12

Unregistered

OP

imasillynarb

Great, now you can get on with your bloody life.

Get lost, and get on with your own miserable existance taking the juice. it was hard to say this sort of stuff on the net and i did it cos of all of these how many times you had sex threads not about me. I have accepted it but it still hurts- pity you live in the same city as me-i am at UEA if you wanna come say something.

Reply 13

high priestess fnord

9

imasillynarb

Get over it, how is regretting it helping anything?

a bit harsh but well regrets never did help anyone and if you hadnt dont it would you still feel the same about your current bf? would you have had the same confidence? our experiences make us who we are and now you've made that mistake i bet you wont drunkenly sleep with someone again without thinking about it first. tbh i dont really understand the hype about loosing your virginity.

Reply 14

Unregistered

OP

imasillynarb

Great, now you can get on with your bloody life.

Get lost, and get on with your own miserable existance taking the juice. it was hard to say this sort of stuff on the net and i did it cos of all of these 'how many times you had sex' threads not about me. I have accepted it but it still hurts.

Reply 15

dan1982

To be honest the first time is always a bit of a mishap, fubbling, and not such a long effort.
I didnt exactly enjoy mine, i wouldnt have thought many people thought it was great compared to what they are enjoying now.
But what you should consider is that you can have lots more fun with your boyfriend now, and the sex can be enjoyed more if you speak about what gets your rocks off.
Dont emphasise on something that isnt all its made out to be, there are more important things to focus on. In the scale of things Virginity is something hyped up by the general masses.

Reply 16

Unregistered

OP

dan1982

To be honest the first time is always a bit of a mishap, fubbling, and not such a long effort.
I didnt exactly enjoy mine, i wouldnt have thought many people thought it was great compared to what they are enjoying now.
But what you should consider is that you can have lots more fun with your boyfriend now, and the sex can be enjoyed more if you speak about what gets your rocks off.
Dont emphasise on something that isnt all its made out to be, there are more important things to focus on. In the scale of things Virginity is something hyped up by the general masses.

I can understand that, but to some it is an important issue.

Reply 17

enigma2506

Hey I know this feeling all too well as im sure do others, its a shame some replies are a bit insensitive. Its a tough one, I first had sex within the confines of what I thought was a loving relationship, I was 20 which for a bloke from east london is quite late, for a while I wasnt bothered but then when I met this girl after a few months felt like I didnt want to get to 21 without doing it. Well we did and it was ok, physically speaking it was great, but now 5 years on I really regret it because she turned out to be a right slapper. But the thing is at the time our relationship seemed so right, I made the choice based on that.

The point is we make choices based on our current situation, we cant tell what the future holds, if we could we would probably never make any major decisions. Theres no use regreting it, as hard as that is to do, we just have to make the most of it and enjoy what we've got. (I actually wish I had had sex outside of a relationship)

I know thats not easy to do though.

Ive ended having more regret recently, this time because my currant gf was a virgin when we met and since we slept together she goes on about my past relationships, sounds silly but I kinda wish I hadnt got involved with a virgin. Weird.

Reply 18

lollipopsticks

1

anjimcflanji

Be thankful you're in a relationship now and can have sex with someone you love, I'm not so lucky and it's put me off sex!!!

dont let it put you off...ur missing out on a great thing a way to express yourself with someone you care about and hwo cares about you. this happened to me and i was used but if you move on and into a better relationship your partner should make you feel cared about enough to treat you with respect and respect your wishes but dont let it put you off no matter how hard it is. you just have to learn to trust someone again!!

Reply 19

Emmalina

1

I think that its totally the same even if its not your first time.

A couple of boyfriends ago I slept with him becuase he made me feel guilty about having not have slept with him. And I feel horribley skanky.

Regret losing my virginity.

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