Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

Ok simple question: do actions speak louder than words?

I've got this friend who I would consider one of my closest/best friends. They have said the same about me.

However, we are in different cities at uni, and so we try to keep in touch mainly via e-mail (used to be very regular - a couple of times a week each way), the occassional text messages and the very rare phone call. (We generally use e-mail because it's free and thus saves money for the other person. Doesn't matter to me as I'm on contract though. And I've said to text me whenever and I will call them, that's not a problem, but they've never done that.)

Recently though, I've been getting very little response to my e-mails, if any. I seem get responses to my occassional text messages (which I didn't always used to). But there have been no calls at all this year.

So, I'm just wondering whether these actions speak lounder than their words, of calling me one of their best friends? I did doubt it at the time (I think they said it because they thought it was what I wanted to hear) and now I'm just wondering if I should give up? It feels all one-sided, like I'm the one always putting in the effort and doing all the work ALL THE TIME. I don't want to lose them as they are a very good friend, who I feel I can tell anything to but... I think they maybe losing interest and I don't want to be forcing some to have a friendship which they don't want have/if they aren't interested. How can I tell what they want? Should I just ask the question straight out?

Reply 1

Unregistered

Yes in principle, but you both lead different lives and you cant expect to be so close. Just becasue you are not communicating, it doesnt mean you cant be good friends-you might be in her thoughts. I am in a similar situation, but i see no point in bugging her just the occasional chat and text lets her know that we are still good friends. situations change, the nature of friendships change but the key is being able to adpt.