The Student Room Group

What do women really look for? (need female opinion)

Hello,
I'm guy of 17.... My problem here is different from the usual "why doesnt she like me, i'm such a nice guy" non-sense (i know how to deal with women)...

my problem is quite the opposite...lol...

I have always known that women want more than just good looks... I have also known that women are attracted to 'alpha-male' personalities... And I know that (I dont mean to be bragging here) I'm one of the "alpha's" amongst my friends.... I know that I'm more than the average ass-kissing guy that you women are so repelled from... I know I even have qualities that women find attractive, I know all this coz whenever all my girlfriends I've had till now were SO attracted to me that they couldn't leave me alone...

Now my question is this: Why do women fancy NICE-GUYS who are shy, dont talk much and are quite nerdy, OVER alpha guys like me, just for the sake of looks?

There's this girl...who is all into me, flirts with me all the time, touches me and everything...

Now...there's this other wussbag who i've never even heard talk, carries four books under his arms, and is in every way unattractive to some other girls, except for his LOOKS...

And she keeps saying that she likes him SO much...

And i know she's not playing me here coz I've heard her friends say the same thing as well...

This is not the only girl...there have been other few who have liked such a guy...

hope you understand the issue here...

Any replies?

Scroll to see replies

I hope they like the alpha male types for my sake!:biggrin:
Reply 2
You sir are pompus and big headed. thats why girls dont want to be with you.
Reply 3
Anonymous
Hello,
I'm guy of 17.... My problem here is different from the usual "why doesnt she like me, i'm such a nice guy" non-sense (i know how to deal with women)...

my problem is quite the opposite...lol...

I have always known that women want more than just good looks... I have also known that women are attracted to 'alpha-male' personalities... And I know that (I dont mean to be bragging here) I'm one of the "alpha's" amongst my friends.... I know that I'm more than the average ass-kissing guy that you women are so repelled from... I know I even have qualities that women find attractive, I know all this coz whenever all my girlfriends I've had till now were SO attracted to me that they couldn't leave me alone...

Now my question is this: Why do women fancy NICE-GUYS who are shy, dont talk much and are quite nerdy, OVER alpha guys like me, just for the sake of looks?

There's this girl...who is all into me, flirts with me all the time, touches me and everything...

Now...there's this other wussbag who i've never even heard talk, carries four books under his arms, and is in every way unattractive to some other girls, except for his LOOKS...

And she keeps saying that she likes him SO much...

And i know she's not playing me here coz I've heard her friends say the same thing as well...

This is not the only girl...there have been other few who have liked such a guy...

hope you understand the issue here...

Any replies?



That seems quite surprising - most guys who ask this are the "wusses" you describe who wonder why women go for guys who are stand-offish and flippant, and wonder why nice guys never attract women. I wouldn't consider myself a complete sycophantic "wuss" now, but I certainly am not a typical "Alpha-male", so I would imagine in women's eyes I am closer to the "guy with the four books under his arm" and absolutely nobody is attracted to me, because I believe that a female is attracted to those that openly display masculinity, and vice versa.
Well, the arrogance may have something to do with it.

Deep down, girls know that in modern society, a nerdy, nice guy is going to treat her better and be a better father.
An alpha male can protect her and her family, but thats not really relevant anymore and they are more likely to be agressive, arrogant and play away from home.

Its a very sub-concious response and some girls have it and some girls don't.

There is alot to do with hormones etc as well. Human bodies connect and if a woman meets a man she physicaly connects with, even if he is nerdy and ugly, then she connects with him and is more likely to be able to have strong children with him. Again, its very sub-concious.
Girls dont really like arrogance, rudeness, or people who think they are better than anyone else. We like kind, nice, down to earth guys who treat us like the most special thing on the planet...it might be something to do with your whole "i'm the best" attitude. Arrogant guys are for stuck up, vain girls, and the whole relationship would be based on looks. Looks arent always enough.. try looking at personality as well
Reply 6
Yeah, you sound like a tosser.
Reply 7
I've seen this with girls and I wonder if girls here would agree - are there guys you are physically "attracted" to, like those that tease, flirt and make you laugh, but you probably wouldn't want a long-term relationship, and those quieter guys who you become more attracted to more slowly but who you know will treat you well in the future?
Reply 8
Peter88
Yeah, you sound like a tosser.



exactly what i was thinking...
Could just be personal preference dude, i'm kinda the same guy, alpha guy, however every so often i play myself down, just show the caring considerate side once and a while, show the girl that your not all leader and protector but friend and lover (in the sense of showing love), and hopefully she'll come to realise that you are everything she is looking for in a man

good luck dude
Reply 10
Flank Runner
Could just be personal preference dude, i'm kinda the same guy, alpha guy, however every so often i play myself down, just show the caring considerate side once and a while, show the girl that your not all leader and protector but friend and lover (in the sense of showing love), and hopefully she'll come to realise that you are everything she is looking for in a man

good luck dude


Glory to all the alpha men - we live together, we die together
Reply 11
so basically your pissed off that a girl could like someone else over the absolutely wonderful-amazing you, i mean how could that possibly be the case, its crazy.
Flank Runner
Could just be personal preference dude, i'm kinda the same guy, alpha guy, however every so often i play myself down, just show the caring considerate side once and a while
good luck dude



I cant help but worry about the whole "i'm an alpha guy" attitude and that the caring, considerate thing is just something that guys put on once in a while to keep their girl happy. isnt there anyone out there who genuinely cares more for his gf than for his image!?
Reply 13
so_this_is_sam
I cant help but worry about the whole "i'm an alpha guy" attitude and that the caring, considerate thing is just something that guys put on once in a while to keep their girl happy. isnt there anyone out there who genuinely cares more for his gf than for his image!?


what's your bf like, girl?
let me straighten this out swiftly, the caring considerate side of us, is and will always be genuine, the alpha side, the bravado is what we put on cause its natural for us to act the leader cause its every mans heritage from our cave man ancesters:biggrin: , however what i am trying to say is let that side the genuine caring side out when your around the girl let her know this is the real you, but when your playing rugby or barking orders at recruits (thats my examples) be the tough alpha male leading the pack,
Flank Runner
however what i am trying to say is let that side the genuine caring side out when your around the girl let her know this is the real you, but when your playing rugby or barking orders at recruits (thats my examples) be the tough alpha male leading the pack,



Yeah totally understand that, and thank you for the explanation...i wonder, if any guy acts the same around his gf as he does around his male friends?!
i try to think of it as when i'm with her, i'm her shoulder to lean on and at the same time i'm her best friend and her protector, i'm there to talk to her , to hold her and to care for her, but when i'm with my mates, i'm one of the lads, and when i play rugby or on duty at the territorial army, i'm a leader and a teacher, buts thats just how i am, hope that helps
stuey
You sir are pompus and big headed. thats why girls dont want to be with you.


lol Shes damn right. You sound up yourself.
erm dont meen to tell you how to do your thing, but i dont think flaming this individual is constructive or progressive, its quite pointless actually, but hey i aint supreme overlord of the universe.....yet lol:biggrin:
Reply 19
Eien
I've seen this with girls and I wonder if girls here would agree - are there guys you are physically "attracted" to, like those that tease, flirt and make you laugh, but you probably wouldn't want a long-term relationship, and those quieter guys who you become more attracted to more slowly but who you know will treat you well in the future?


yup, you're right. myself and a lot of other girls i know love flirting and playing around with the typical alpha male, and generally they make great friends. but would i ever date one? nope