The Student Room Group

The Girl of dreams cant stop looking at me?

(Posting Anon as i know she posts on here lol)

Anyway, im male, very shy, age 18.
At college theres this girl that i really like, shes so nice i cant stop thinking of her(Sad i know)I dont know her much but she just keeps flirting, I say flirting but she seems to have an attraction to me, for example if i see her around college she suddenly sees me and looks(but tries to not make it too obvious, even though she does) and i do the same!

I know many people take flirting the wrong way: but you can tell when theres an attraction by experience.

What doesnt make sense is ive seen her with a BF( a while back), but even then she couldnt resist looking at me? I know it sounds like shes some slapper but shes not, she is very inteligent and comes across as a really nice person.

Once i walked in the class and we must have been staring at each over for a few seconds until i got nervois and went 'Alright' and sat down(as im shy). I never have any chance to talk to her(which gets me down more)

Ive been trying to forget it, but ive not really had a gf for a long time, she might be single now and she is basicly the girl of my dreams! Im really shy and i dont know what to do, especily with not long to go in college now! I wish i could talk to her as a friend but i cant even get that chance

I just wondered if anyone could tell me to stop being stupid or give me some advice?

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ignore that first answer! i think what you're describing is great, its like chemistry between two people. i know exactly what you mean as well, ive had this with an ex. its strange cos u can sense when the other person is around and you look at each other a lot. get to know her!!! the one downside is...when u break up, its hard to stay friends cos the chemistry is always there and i often find myself gettin with this guy :/ even when we arent together anymore. but when u do touch etc its AMAZING. seriously, i have never felt that with anyone else and no one understands it until they experience it !
Reply 2
Sit next to her in a lecture or something.

If you want a conversation starter, say you think you recognise her from somewhere and can't quite pin it down - even if you don't at least it'll explain why you've been staring at her without making you look like you'd hump her leg if she asked.
How long has this being going on now?
Reply 4
It is certainly possible she is attracted to you, even with her bf, she might see traits in you that lack in her boyfriend, which may be one reason. That kind of "chemistry" though must be amazing - but just remind yourself of what you want and let that drive you - the way to do it is to follow your emotions and your heart. Don't "think about what you are going to say", speak and don't hesitate - in this way you can say things you would normally inhibit yourself from doing and come across as your natural self. It is very difficult, but the only way is to practice becoming more open and confident, and eventually, your confidence becomes as natural as your self-consciousness used to be. Think about it - do you think you were born shy? Most likely not - we learn from social situations, often feeling embarassed if we say the wrong thing, so we learn not to speak in such a way again. While a certain level of inhibition is normal and healthy, it often becomes excessive, but this process can be reversed just as it was created.
ask her out for a drink or something casual. whats the worst that can happen?
Reply 6
Thanks for your help!

I think it is chemistry, and i think chemistry is amazing!
Reply 7
Anonymous
Thanks for your help!

I think it is chemistry, and i think chemistry is amazing!


yeah i used to love those old ethanol equations too
Hehe I love chemistry like that, When I was at college in one of my classes me and this guy would just sneak glances at each other all lesson, it was great. I could just sense him looking at me, gradually it got more and more flirty glances but then he moved classes and I got a boyfriend :smile:
Make a move seems liek she might like you :smile:
Reply 9
Anonymous
How long has this being going on now?


Since October, but though it was my imagination at first...
aww-thats o sweet-what i say is-look out for a few more signs then make your move-good luck
Anonymous
for example if i see her around college she suddenly sees me and looks(but tries to not make it too obvious, even though she does) and i do the same!

I know many people take flirting the wrong way: but you can tell when theres an attraction by experience.


It's not because she's staring at you that she fancies you. This girl kept staring at me back in high school and I'm just the kind of person who doesn't turn the look away from people so I'd usually stare back. After a while her friends and her were convinced I fancied her...

People stare for a million reasons. Even if she is staring at you because you look "interesting" (you might be interesting simply because you're staring), it doesn't mean that she wants to go out with you. You're going to have to make an effort if you want her to fancy you. Maybe there's a chance, maybe there isn't.

Talk to her. If you haven't got the balls, just leave her a note asking her to call you. If you stay in this state, you're going to start imagining she wants your babies because she wore the same colour shoes as you today...

I spent most of my high school years exchanging glances with this girl a year below me. I was convinced she fancied me. I'd be in the exam room and out of all the places, several times she'd sit next to me. Well guess what? She went out with one of my best mates for two years at the end of high school. Staring does not equal wanting to go out with.
Anonymous
(Posting Anon as i know she posts on here lol)

Anyway, im male, very shy, age 18.
At college theres this girl that i really like, shes so nice i cant stop thinking of her(Sad i know)I dont know her much but she just keeps flirting, I say flirting but she seems to have an attraction to me, for example if i see her around college she suddenly sees me and looks(but tries to not make it too obvious, even though she does) and i do the same!

I know many people take flirting the wrong way: but you can tell when theres an attraction by experience.

What doesnt make sense is ive seen her with a BF( a while back), but even then she couldnt resist looking at me? I know it sounds like shes some slapper but shes not, she is very inteligent and comes across as a really nice person.

Once i walked in the class and we must have been staring at each over for a few seconds until i got nervois and went 'Alright' and sat down(as im shy). I never have any chance to talk to her(which gets me down more)

Ive been trying to forget it, but ive not really had a gf for a long time, she might be single now and she is basicly the girl of my dreams! Im really shy and i dont know what to do, especily with not long to go in college now! I wish i could talk to her as a friend but i cant even get that chance

I just wondered if anyone could tell me to stop being stupid or give me some advice?


grow a dick and say hi... shyness can't rule your life forever, nows the time to stop using it as an excuse.
Reply 13
Mad_Monkey59
grow a dick and say hi... shyness can't rule your life forever, nows the time to stop using it as an excuse.


Very good point! Luckily i dont need to grow one lol!
Reply 14
she might simply just be a nice, friendly person that smiles at everyone. i have a few ppl in my 6th form who are like that, like i dont really know them but we still say hi and smile at each other.
Also some people just generally are 'stary' people. Does she smile at you or is it just staring?
Think of an exuse to talk to her at some point and your realise if she likes you by her body language and how flirtatious she is. Its more reliable than just thinking she fancies the pants off of you cos she stares.
just try walk and talk with confidence plus a friendly smile when she catches ur eye
Reply 16
three rules.

1. ALWAYS REMEMBER, there are a million other fish in the sea. If you remember this all the time, you will not be hurt as much

2. If you are shy, tell your friends, they can give you encouragement,

3. If yuo want to just go for it (I recommend this), get a good event, eg. party or ball or something and say you wanna take her to it. She'll give you a yes or no, either way you've gained confidence and information, which IMO are the real two things you needed in the first place.
Reply 17
she obv. likes you ask her out!!!!!

she's the girl of your dreams don't let her slip away!!

if she says no which i doubt she will by what u've said then always remember you are young years of girl liking ahead of you think how many girls you'll feel this way about

but dont let her go ull regret it!!!
Reply 18
I think the first thing you need to do is imagine that she isn't the girl of your dreams, because really, she isn't.

If you put her up on a pedestal, she'll sense that you feel inferior to her, and there's nothing more unattractive than that.

So in conclusion, realise she's a normal girl, and talk to her like you would any other normal girl. Don't be over needy or interested, PLEASE.
Reply 19
yeah, that's good advice^.

To get rid of this, remember.. you are smarter than her, and more attractive, and will be richer when you're older. Itll make you be confident talking to her, cos if you're a pussy, like "hello, would you like to go out with me?", that's not good!