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How do teachers react to self harm?
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Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.
in secondary school when id have to change for PE or wear an apron for art or resistant materials the teachers would see my SH and didnt say a thing. They didnt ask about it or jump in when they heard others discussing it.
im in college now and i still do it. Relapse i hope. Someone found out and told someone at welfare. she was so lovely about it. we talked openly. Believe me it was so weird. But she didn't tell anyone or call home. She asks me when i see her how it is casue she has to well risk asses it but thats all. when a tutuor found out i did it years ago it didnt fase her but tbh its because their told not to react and to stay calm. not to insert opinoin or emotion. its their job. they can be there to listen to a certain point if you choose to tell them but most dont know how to deal with it. she has unfortuanately learnt things i didnt want her to know but she hasnt treated me differently at all. i find it so uncomfortable that she knows but theirs nothing i can do about it. to my knowledge she has only old someone from welfare.
Teachers are generally trained not to react to it and not treat you any different. '
Hope this helps Xx
Original post by UnknownMe
in secondary school when id have to change for PE or wear an apron for art or resistant materials the teachers would see my SH and didnt say a thing. They didnt ask about it or jump in when they heard others discussing it.
im in college now and i still do it. Relapse i hope. Someone found out and told someone at welfare. she was so lovely about it. we talked openly. Believe me it was so weird. But she didn't tell anyone or call home. She asks me when i see her how it is casue she has to well risk asses it but thats all. when a tutuor found out i did it years ago it didnt fase her but tbh its because their told not to react and to stay calm. not to insert opinoin or emotion. its their job. they can be there to listen to a certain point if you choose to tell them but most dont know how to deal with it. she has unfortuanately learnt things i didnt want her to know but she hasnt treated me differently at all. i find it so uncomfortable that she knows but theirs nothing i can do about it. to my knowledge she has only old someone from welfare.
Teachers are generally trained not to react to it and not treat you any different. '
Hope this helps Xx
im in college now and i still do it. Relapse i hope. Someone found out and told someone at welfare. she was so lovely about it. we talked openly. Believe me it was so weird. But she didn't tell anyone or call home. She asks me when i see her how it is casue she has to well risk asses it but thats all. when a tutuor found out i did it years ago it didnt fase her but tbh its because their told not to react and to stay calm. not to insert opinoin or emotion. its their job. they can be there to listen to a certain point if you choose to tell them but most dont know how to deal with it. she has unfortuanately learnt things i didnt want her to know but she hasnt treated me differently at all. i find it so uncomfortable that she knows but theirs nothing i can do about it. to my knowledge she has only old someone from welfare.
Teachers are generally trained not to react to it and not treat you any different. '
Hope this helps Xx
This ^^
For a teacher, they're trained to not ask about details. The less they know the better. They are trained to no treat you any differently and to defer you to someone who can help, e.g. the school nurse etc. Someone actually trained to help. And that is all kept very confidential.
Thank you for the advise, but what happens if you don't want your parents to know?
This is exactly my situation, how did it go? I've told a teacher I want to talk to her but I'm just scared she'll tell my parents and I literally can't have that
Teachers and members of staff have something called a "duty of care". This means that if they suspect self-destructive behaviour, such as self harm, they must report it to a senior member of staff, or, if they are the senior member of staff, they need to take action. They work on risk scales, if you will...
Low/medium risk:
*Little/non-fatal/not "serious" self injury
*Little/no history of self harm
*Manageable stress levels
*Good work ethic at school.
The student is likely to be referred to a school counsellor to talk their problems over, staff members associated with the student are informed so they can be on the look out for any more possible incidents of self harm. The student is unlikely to be referred to outside sources of mental health care.
High risk:
*Potentially serious self injury
*Long/on-off history of self harm
*Excessive levels of stress
*Lack of interest in school life.
The student will be encouraged to speak to a mental health worker at a hospital, the school will work closely with both the student and the family of the student to make sure the student is as comfortable and happy as possible in the situation they've found themselves in.
In terms of personal levels, teachers will not judge anyone who self harms. That would be in breach of their code of conduct and duty of care. Self harm is a mental health issue. Judging or shunning a student who self harms, or has self harmed, is disrespecting the rights of a person with a mental health problem. I hope this answers your question.
Low/medium risk:
*Little/non-fatal/not "serious" self injury
*Little/no history of self harm
*Manageable stress levels
*Good work ethic at school.
The student is likely to be referred to a school counsellor to talk their problems over, staff members associated with the student are informed so they can be on the look out for any more possible incidents of self harm. The student is unlikely to be referred to outside sources of mental health care.
High risk:
*Potentially serious self injury
*Long/on-off history of self harm
*Excessive levels of stress
*Lack of interest in school life.
The student will be encouraged to speak to a mental health worker at a hospital, the school will work closely with both the student and the family of the student to make sure the student is as comfortable and happy as possible in the situation they've found themselves in.
In terms of personal levels, teachers will not judge anyone who self harms. That would be in breach of their code of conduct and duty of care. Self harm is a mental health issue. Judging or shunning a student who self harms, or has self harmed, is disrespecting the rights of a person with a mental health problem. I hope this answers your question.
Original post by Anonymous
I dont mean in terms of telling parents school counsellor etc ect, I mean how do they see you? do they treat you any differently? Would all teachers be told? If anyone has any experience with how people have reacted that would be good.
They'd probably just 'meh' then move on with whatever they were doing!
When i confronted my teacher about self harm she reacted how i expected. She was calm and talked to me about it. I felt comfortable talking to her rather than other people because we had spoke many times about my depression and she had told me about her similar past experiences. It helped me lots knowing she knew and i controlled it better. But it honestly does depend on past relationships with them and their own experiances.
I come from a grammar school, whose 6th form is the best in the area. This is what a teacher reacted to when this student (from what I have been told) was cutting himself with scissors. He said and I quote:
"In your own time pal, not in my lesson you don't"
Hey, could be worse. Our teachers are doing a lot to teach us about suicide and stuff as there is always assemblies and tutor sessions on them, however they themselves don't do much-at-least as far as I know...
"In your own time pal, not in my lesson you don't"
Hey, could be worse. Our teachers are doing a lot to teach us about suicide and stuff as there is always assemblies and tutor sessions on them, however they themselves don't do much-at-least as far as I know...
When I decided to tell a teacher about my sh I choose the one teacher that I had the best relationship with (this happened to be my form tutor but this beside the point). She helped me in ways that no other teacher would have. She did tell my parents however when I sh again and asked her not to she didn't they'll them. She has helped me set up a support network within my school and college which uses the teachers that I trust and feel comfortable talking to. Even though teachers have a set way to deal with things like this. I have proof that if you have a good relationship with some teachers they will respect you as well!!
When my tutor found out about me self harming she spoke to me to see if I would admit it. I told her a lie and said I fell in a bush as she question me about it to try and make me slip up. However I didn't so she informed my head of house about it who then talked to me about it so I terend round and asked if I could speek to my tutor about it. She treated me a little different from everyone and never told me off. I asked her not to tell my parents as they are devorced and always aruge over me. She helped me and then realised that I wasn't getting any better and maybe someone else needed to do something as I was constantly self harming and fainting. She told the dsgl who spoke to me with the ddsgl and then informed all of my teachers who then took action to make sure I was okay every single lesson and didn't go to the toilet unucumpened. So yeah they do react differently but now my parents know how I'll I really am and have just had a go at me for it. School did help the situation as I have a doctor come in and treat me as I keep refusing to go impaction. They are understanding most of the time
When I was in Secondary School i self-harmed and would cut my hands with a razor blade and one time my form teacher held me back after registration and asked me about them, but I clammed up and made some excuse about them being an accident and it went no further.
Then another time someone drew attention to them in class and the teacher looked at my cuts right in front of everyone and then sent me to the nurse, who gave me antiseptic wipes and called me my mum and then nothing else happened after that.
Some teachers can be supportive, others not so much.
Then another time someone drew attention to them in class and the teacher looked at my cuts right in front of everyone and then sent me to the nurse, who gave me antiseptic wipes and called me my mum and then nothing else happened after that.
Some teachers can be supportive, others not so much.
I am in high school and last month I cut my self I told a teacher I felt comfortable with then 3 days later he told my parents and he still to this very day checks up on me every day he even asks me to see him at lunch or snack ever second day to see how my day is going and he told me I could go talk to him about anything and anytime fI I need to talk to him to just ask him and he tries to understand and whats to help me I still speak to him to this very day all the time I would go speak to him it would make me feel shity at first because I would cry and get emotional but after talking I feel like I have left weight off my chest and I feel a lot better and I feel like he's a good teacher to talk to because he listens to me sometimes I feel scared to tell him because I don't what my parents to now but he's only doing his job but I still feel like some weight was lifted from my chest. I cut my self three times I was scared to tell him because I thought he would get mad and get annoyed but he tried to understand and listens. he might be the only teacher who checks up on me but he cares and asks every day he nows i still cut to and he does not react as bad as he did last time i told him.
I know it's a bit late but I am considering telling either my head of house or my tutor. I want to do it like it's someone else but I am worried that they'll ask questions. Such as who it is or what house they are in (houses are our teams) or how long they have been doing it. Recently I have a lot of problems and my head of house took me out of my lesson because she saw I wasn't happy. Then I started talking to her about alot of things. But that's so different to self harming so I don't know how she'll react. Or if she'll guess it is me if I tell her that someone else Is self harming.
it depends on the teacher really, but by law they have to tell your parents. from personal experience, my teacher didnt actually didnt see my cuts or scars, i knew i needed help so i went to a teacher i trusted and told her. She sat with me for a while and we talked. from time to time she will come and speak to me and ask how im doing. hope this helped and i hope you over come ur problems and succeed in recovery. xxx
Original post by Anonymous1102
I know it's a bit late but I am considering telling either my head of house or my tutor. I want to do it like it's someone else but I am worried that they'll ask questions. Such as who it is or what house they are in (houses are our teams) or how long they have been doing it. Recently I have a lot of problems and my head of house took me out of my lesson because she saw I wasn't happy. Then I started talking to her about alot of things. But that's so different to self harming so I don't know how she'll react. Or if she'll guess it is me if I tell her that someone else Is self harming.
Hi! I am sorry to hear you are struggling! As a teacher she is obligated to help you if you go to her with a problem. She is also required to be unjudgmental about what you are going through. From personal experience, I would definitely recommend speaking to someone, but you need to think about what you want to get out of it. Do you want to get counselling, maybe build a support network to help you stop?? Then you should definitely talk to your teacher. Or do you just want someone to rant to, and to listen to you when things get tough, without practical intervention? In which case, telling your teacher isn't the best idea, because she is not allowed to let you continue harming yourself. If you want someone to rant to, and offer some advise please please dm me as I have dealt with this in the past!! Personally I think telling your teacher is a brilliant idea! But you have to be ready and you have to want to get better
. Hope this helped!!! Xxx
If you went to a catholic school like I did they’d blame it on satan and make you pray 10 hail marys to stop abusing the body that god gave you. They would also not do a thing about the people who bullied me and even made me go to the school psychologist with them to “try and make things right”. All they did was force me to be in the same place as the people that hated me and there was no progress whatsoever. So yeah, don’t go to catholic schools kids
make a big deal.. send me to thearpy and keep me next to them like their my baby sitter
No they don't have too tell parents if their old scars. I walked into school with (short) jean shorts on and the entire classroom saw my scars even and especially the teacher as he stands at the front of his classroom while waiting for students to come in after the bell rings, and they were very hard to miss. I knew he would ask after class, but he didn't have too. A girl in my class asked first. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak the classroom got dead silent and all I said was "Thank you for your concern but they're old. I usually cover them up, but I'm trying something new today."
That was it. No phone call home. No awkward conversation with the teacher. Just one sentence.
And I got the courage to walk into school with my self harm scars very very visible. So all in all worth it completely. Some students may judge you if you show them, but most don't care too much if their not close to you. If anybody says anything just say "My body, my life, my struggles, not your business." or if they're reach and snoody "My life, my struggles, not your perfect life" and roll your eyes very dramatically then walk away. Right past them don't look them in the eyes. This usually works, not always, but it has many times for me.
That was it. No phone call home. No awkward conversation with the teacher. Just one sentence.
And I got the courage to walk into school with my self harm scars very very visible. So all in all worth it completely. Some students may judge you if you show them, but most don't care too much if their not close to you. If anybody says anything just say "My body, my life, my struggles, not your business." or if they're reach and snoody "My life, my struggles, not your perfect life" and roll your eyes very dramatically then walk away. Right past them don't look them in the eyes. This usually works, not always, but it has many times for me.
(edited 5 years ago)
Well.. it depends three of my teachers spoke to me about it and told my guardian and referred me to cahms and when I refused they made me see a counsellor at school then I woukdnt speak to them so they gave up all my teachers where informed to make sure I didn’t do it and one teacher always saw them as my blazer fell down and it watche dit progress when I finally went through a phase of stopping he always made sure I was ok was subtle about it and now I’m doing it again he’s always helping me but he never confronts me about it
