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Problems raising the flagpole

I have a rather embarrassing problem. The few times I’ve had (or attempted to have) sex, I might be able to get it up for a while but it goes limp again in no time at all. The first time was a one-night-stand when I was rather shocked by this eventuality (seeing as I never had a problem on my own :wink:

). I’ve never been in love and quite frankly, I’m not really bothered by this. I just want to have some fun with girls that I have a mutual attraction for. No harm in that.

I’m attractive and girls love me. Sorry it’s the truth hehe. I am confident in pretty much every other area of my life and this is the most annoying part. I can tease, be cocky and make girls laugh as well as the next guy and they swoon as a result. So when it comes to sex and I can’t perform, I feel a bit like I’ve led them on (and I shouldn’t because I haven’t). I’m always worrying about whether it’s gonna stay up and then of course, it doesn’t.

Has anyone had a similar problem? I’m gonna see the doctor about it next week to see what he says but I’m worried he’s just feed me a load of crap about ‘performance anxiety’ and tell me to get some rest.

Oh and incidently, I’m only in my early 20’s!

Reply 1

hitmanuk2k

He will feed with a load of 'crap' about performance anxiety because that's exactly what it is.

Reply 2

username47781

20

more likely to happen in one night stands when it's based on performance.

Reply 3

high priestess fnord

9

brush up on your oral skills etc so she isnt too dissapointed when u cant perform :wink:

Reply 4

Segat1

16

and don't drink too much. Think about someone hot (i.e. not your mother) or something really kinky you'd love to do. Failing that, do the old *making fire* movement with your old fella and you should be right as rain :wink:

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Has anyone had a similar problem? I’m gonna see the doctor about it next week to see what he says but I’m worried he’s just feed me a load of crap about ‘performance anxiety’ and tell me to get some rest.

Oh and incidently, I’m only in my early 20’s!

I'm 19 and I've had a simillar problem only this has been with my girlfriend rather than just some random girl I've pulled. First of all the doctors did blood tests to check for diabetes etc and then when they came back negative the doctor examined me. He told me it was probably a psychological problem. I've found that after it happened once I was more worried about it the next time and so the problem just got worse and worse.

I asked for a private prescription for viagra but I haven't tried it yet because I'm a bit reluctant to use it (it costs so much for one tablet that you have to know for sure that your partner wants sex that night). If the problem doesn't resolve itself then I will start using the viagra to get my confidence backup and then I will gradually reduce the dosage.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

dot go on the viagra!!!! you cant just come off it slowly it changes the way u feel sex and then you can have trouble with coming too early/not getting it up as well as the original anxiety. beleive me just carry on till u get your confidence back. preferably with someone u trust like an fbuddy

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

hitmanuk2k

He will feed with a load of 'crap' about performance anxiety because that's exactly what it is.

That's very helpful, thank you :rolleyes:

. I am fully aware that this is performance anxiety but I am unaware of how to beat it. I'm thinking Viagra might help if I use it just a couple of times to stop me worrrying and get me into the swing of things. What I meant was that I don't need the doctor to tell me to 'just relax' and 'take my time' since these are the first things one would try to do in such circumstances.

Reply 8

m_ferg06

Guess if u wana use viagra then i guess its ur own decision, bt i read loadsa places that if u just kinda let her do what she wants and just enjoy it, then u mite not worry. I duno. Feel bad 4 u but am sure u'l get passed it

Reply 9

Talon

18

Anonymous

That's very helpful, thank you :rolleyes:

. I am fully aware that this is performance anxiety but I am unaware of how to beat it. I'm thinking Viagra might help if I use it just a couple of times to stop me worrrying and get me into the swing of things. What I meant was that I don't need the doctor to tell me to 'just relax' and 'take my time' since these are the first things one would try to do in such circumstances.

Do you DIY often?

Reply 10

Anonymous #4

The best way to get over it is to refuse to have penetrative sex. All doctors/psychologists suggest this as a way to return to your natural feelings. If your partner/gf is clear about this from the start then there will be no pressure to perform as you are not going to! As you have removed the pressure your boy will start (over a period of time) to respond normally and the direct urge to make the beast with two backs (not quasimodo) will appear naturally. There is no short term 'fix' or magical potion.

Reply 11

so_this_is_sam

3

Fantasize...haha...what do you want the girl to do to you...and then make her do it

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

m_ferg06

Guess if u wana use viagra then i guess its ur own decision, bt i read loadsa places that if u just kinda let her do what she wants and just enjoy it, then u mite not worry. I duno. Feel bad 4 u but am sure u'l get passed it

Thanks. Trouble is I like being the man and taking the lead. I suppose that's a bit double dutch considering the girl I'm with at the mo is more experienced than me but I still feel that it is my duty since I will always take the lead with everything else.

Talon

Do you DIY often?

Not very often now. I've watched silly amounts of porn over the last few years so I wouldn't be suprised if that has had an effect. I actually cut down on bashing them out because I thought it might help with the problem.

Anon

The best way to get over it is to refuse to have penetrative sex. All doctors/psychologists suggest this as a way to return to your natural feelings. If your partner/gf is clear about this from the start then there will be no pressure to perform as you are not going to! As you have removed the pressure your boy will start (over a period of time) to respond normally and the direct urge to make the beast with two backs (not quasimodo) will appear naturally. There is no short term 'fix' or magical potion.

That's not a bad idea at all. I was considering doing this last night but I really wanted to give it a go :biggrin:

.

Reply 13

brimstone

7

I hate all the thread titles that contain innuendos and double entendres. By the way, my sister has a pussy problem she needs dealing with...

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

brimstone1

I hate all the thread titles that contain innuendos and double entendres. By the way, my sister has a pussy problem she needs dealing with...

Thanks for sharing that with us. Although why she would share that with you is possibly the most worrying part about it ^o)

Thing is, what you just said can't even be classified as an innuendo seeing as no-one uses the word 'pussy' in the context of felines any more. If you had created more emphasis on the fact that it was a cat you were talking about then it may have worked, but all you ended up with was a statement which conjures up images of a new generation of children with buck teeth, dicky eyes and downs syndrome.

Reply 15

rockthecasbah

2

On a slightly different note, when I read the title of this thread I was thinking
"What a weird school, they still make the pupils put the flags up on the flag pole? They have a flag pole? They have flags? God, how weak do your arms have to be?! *5 seconds later* Ohhhh...."

Problems raising the flagpole

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