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Just prove I didn't rep you I'm the OP ok.

I don't bloody have any rep power anyway. It seems people like neg repping me for fun though. :biggrin:

My biggest problem is I'm worried that I will be like this for the rest of my life and therefore the sense of hoplessness is still very high. I feel my situation getting desperate and I don't want to act desperate. I'm almost suicidal at times because of it.

Mind you now I'm having counselling sessions at the moment, have been refered to a psycologist will read a book recommended by my gp called "mind over mood" which is a book that focuses on cognetive therapy behaviour. Its to change the way I view myself and how I look at the world and stop reacting negatively to everything etc. I'm hoping it will work but I'm worried it wont.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 21
Original post by Sharpshooter
My biggest problem is I'm worried that I will be like this for the rest of my life and therefore the sense of hoplessness is still very high. I feel my situation getting desperate and I don't want to act desperate. I'm almost suicidal at times because of it.


There is plenty of proof that your situation is not hopeless throughout this thread. If you choose to ignore it that's up to you but there are loads of ways around your problem. No need to get desperate at all.
Reply 22
You are one strange dude :') 25 and a virgin, never had a gf. You must be a zombiieee.
Reply 23
Also many people will be willing to tell you that somebody will come along
But actually no one is willing to come along
Original post by JD.27
There is plenty of proof that your situation is not hopeless throughout this thread. If you choose to ignore it that's up to you but there are loads of ways around your problem. No need to get desperate at all.


I appreciate your opinion and I'm not choosing to ignore it.

What opinions would you suggest? What sort of time frame can I set myself? Because obviously I'm going to need to work on my social life first and interact with girls as friends just for now. So I'm a little bit more confident when dating. I have to continue on my anti depressants and counselling and obviously thats going to take time. This isn't going to be done overnight obviously.

My big fear is that my time is running out as I'm now around the corner from my late 20s. I have considered using an escort to cover my sex issues but that would be a bit sad and pathetic.

Thanks for your help anyway.
Reply 25
Original post by Sharpshooter
I appreciate your opinion and I'm not choosing to ignore it.

What opinions would you suggest? What sort of time frame can I set myself? Because obviously I'm going to need to work on my social life first and interact with girls as friends just for now. So I'm a little bit more confident when dating. I have to continue on my anti depressants and counselling and obviously thats going to take time. This isn't going to be done overnight obviously.

My big fear is that my time is running out as I'm now around the corner from my late 20s. I have considered using an escort to cover my sex issues but that would be a bit sad and pathetic.

Thanks for your help anyway.



I think you should use the escort to be honest. If no-one ever finds out I can't see the problem with it. Everyone has secrets. Visit and escort and get the monkey off your back. You'll feel the weight off your shoulders once it's done, and then you can move to the next level. Don't expect anything. Just call her and do it.

People will usually try and shame you for visiting a prostitute, but honestly, there isn't much difference between regular women and prostitutes. Western women these days think they are princesses and want to be swept off their feet. Western women will never love you. They will only see you as a provider, a utility tool. Prostitutes actually deserve more respect, because at least they're honest about only wanting your money. Regular women smile in your face and pretend to love you, but the only thing they are looking at is your wallet. This is an actual fact.
Original post by WordLife
I think you should use the escort to be honest. If no-one ever finds out I can't see the problem with it. Everyone has secrets. Visit and escort and get the monkey off your back. You'll feel the weight off your shoulders once it's done, and then you can move to the next level. Don't expect anything. Just call her and do it.

People will usually try and shame you for visiting a prostitute, but honestly, there isn't much difference between regular women and prostitutes. Western women these days think they are princesses and want to be swept off their feet. Western women will never love you. They will only see you as a provider, a utility tool. Prostitutes actually deserve more respect, because at least they're honest about only wanting your money. Regular women smile in your face and pretend to love you, but the only thing they are looking at is your wallet. This is an actual fact.


Wow seriously??!! Obviously can't speak on behalf of every 'Western Woman', but every woman I know who is in a relationship isn't in it for using the guy! I for one do genuinely love my guy, he is my world - I'm not after him for whatever money he may have or for him to treat me like a princess and I would not expect that.

And I kinda disagree with the escort idea. Yes, OP, it may help you get over the whole 'virgin' thing, but I think you seem like the type of guy that would feel negatively againist yourself for choosing that route, and when you do find someone (because you will, don't lose faith in that) you will be glad that your first time is with someone you genuinely care about. And someone who genuinely cares about you won't mind that you're inexperienced. If you're with someone, then, well, practise makes perfect, eh? :wink:
Reply 27
Original post by singerpianist
Wow seriously??!! Obviously can't speak on behalf of every 'Western Woman', but every woman I know who is in a relationship isn't in it for using the guy! I for one do genuinely love my guy, he is my world - I'm not after him for whatever money he may have or for him to treat me like a princess and I would not expect that.

And I kinda disagree with the escort idea. Yes, OP, it may help you get over the whole 'virgin' thing, but I think you seem like the type of guy that would feel negatively againist yourself for choosing that route, and when you do find someone (because you will, don't lose faith in that) you will be glad that your first time is with someone you genuinely care about. And someone who genuinely cares about you won't mind that you're inexperienced. If you're with someone, then, well, practise makes perfect, eh? :wink:


People need to be realistic, and I'm just giving the OP the truth. The truth hurt me too when I discovered it. Women will love you as long as you provide for them. In fact, the only thing they love is what you provide and how you make them feel. If a man actually believes his partner loves him, he should ask himself if she'd still be with him if he was a bus driver, or a postman. Let's see if she still loves him when he loses his job.

You can't change biology. Women are programmed to seek a provider, and once a richer provider comes along, they chuck their current partner out the window. That's hypergamy, and it is happening every day.


All that talk about losing your virginity to someone you love is pointless. There is no special "one" or soulmate out there. If OP still waits to lose his virginity to a girl who is special he will be a virgin for the rest of his life. I hate to break it to him like that, but it's the way it is.
Reply 28
Original post by Sharpshooter
What opinions would you suggest? What sort of time frame can I set myself? Because obviously I'm going to need to work on my social life first and interact with girls as friends just for now. So I'm a little bit more confident when dating. I have to continue on my anti depressants and counselling and obviously thats going to take time. This isn't going to be done overnight obviously.

My big fear is that my time is running out as I'm now around the corner from my late 20s. I have considered using an escort to cover my sex issues but that would be a bit sad and pathetic.

Thanks for your help anyway.


You can either:
1-Find a girl who doesn't mind (if you've got the rest of the bases covered a lot of them won't mind you being a virgin, it only takes a couple goes to get used to it)
2-Find another virgin, there are loads in their early twenties, also loads who have only had one or two disappointing partners
3-Seek out some casual sex, you don't need to provide your sexual history for a one night stand
Wallowing about in self-pity is probably the worst thing you can do, it's counter productive and extremely unattractive. Good that you're getting the depression side of things sorted, just get out, be more social, and stop letting being a virgin get to you.
Reply 29
Original post by JD.27
You can either:
1-Find a girl who doesn't mind (if you've got the rest of the bases covered a lot of them won't mind you being a virgin, it only takes a couple goes to get used to it)
2-Find another virgin, there are loads in their early twenties, also loads who have only had one or two disappointing partners
3-Seek out some casual sex, you don't need to provide your sexual history for a one night stand
Wallowing about in self-pity is probably the worst thing you can do, it's counter productive and extremely unattractive. Good that you're getting the depression side of things sorted, just get out, be more social, and stop letting being a virgin get to you.



I don't agree with this. There are many stories of male virgins in their mid/late 20's who were about to mate with the female, and as soon as the male told the female he was a virgin, she walked out. I don't think there is any reason for the OP to tell any female he's with that he's a virgin. Why do it? Op, whatever you do, don't tell her it's your first time. It's too risky.
Reply 30
I'm 24, 25 this August and in the same situation. I've tried but things haven't gone anywhere.

I haven't given up hope though, and neither should you. Feelings are the the best, and worst thing in the world though, so be prepared for that

If a girl cares you are a virgin, she isn't really worth your time anyway
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by WordLife
People need to be realistic, and I'm just giving the OP the truth. The truth hurt me too when I discovered it. Women will love you as long as you provide for them. In fact, the only thing they love is what you provide and how you make them feel. If a man actually believes his partner loves him, he should ask himself if she'd still be with him if he was a bus driver, or a postman. Let's see if she still loves him when he loses his job.

You can't change biology. Women are programmed to seek a provider, and once a richer provider comes along, they chuck their current partner out the window. That's hypergamy, and it is happening every day.


All that talk about losing your virginity to someone you love is pointless. There is no special "one" or soulmate out there. If OP still waits to lose his virginity to a girl who is special he will be a virgin for the rest of his life. I hate to break it to him like that, but it's the way it is.


I'm sorry you have obviously been hurt by women/a woman who is how you describe. I don't think it's being realistic...all women are certainly not like that, nor I would have thought are the majority. I for one love my boyfriend entirely, and if he were to lose his job or whatever that may make him 'not able to provide for me' I would stick by him no matter what and would help him as much as I can and support him because I love him. I don't expect him to spend his money buying me loads of presents or keeping me happy materialistically, I am with him because I love who he is.

And I'm with you on the belief that there's no 'one special person' for each of us, but I do think that something such as losing virginity ought to be with someone who is special to you at the time. Maybe some people don't think that way, and aren't bothered who they lose their virginity to, so this is just my opinion, and the impression I got from the OP, but perhaps I'm wrong. But I disagree entirely with your generalisations.
:console:
I don't think ANYBODY has gone through life without having a girlfriend/boyfriend unless people choose to stay a virgin. Humans are designed to reproduce, and no statistics change that. So, chances are that there is at least one other human who finds you attractive every day. I'd say at five at the very least.
You know you're a virgin but nobody else does unless you tell them. I agree with what some other people have said here, you shouldn't mention it until after you've done it. Just mention it casually, you don't need to be too specific. Your girlfriend probably won't even need to know, but the convo will probably crop up at some point.
And it's not true that women won't date someone who's a virgin in their 20s. I'm 18 but I'd date a guy in his mid twenties who was a virgin. In fact it would probs make me feel more comfortable because it'd be the first time for me and him - which makes it more special imo. If I wasn't a virgin I'd think it's nice that the guy's a virgin because it'd make me feel special that he waited until he found someone he really liked.
I don't really know what else to say - there has been guys here saying they're in the same boat so you're definitely not alone.
PM me if you wanna chat sometime, I don't mind being honest if you want a 100% honest female opinion, or anything else.
Original post by Anonymous
You think I'm not serious, I just wrote that out for fun?

Of course I'm serious I view that if I don't get a girlfriend by 25/26, I'll never have one, I thinks that well documented with internet polling that does suggest that 60%+ (i.e. more than half) would not under any circumstances date a virgin at that age.

I'd like it not to be a big deal for me, but it is because I believe it is for others, or at least research has led me to believe that.


Because internet polling is a very accurate research method.

Get a grip and don't buy into the whole "you need a girlfriend to be feel complete" thing, because it's a load of complete and utter bull.
Also, anyone who judges you simply for being a virgin is a horrible human being and isn't worth your time anyway. Christ, how is this not obvious?
Reply 35
Original post by WordLife
I don't agree with this. There are many stories of male virgins in their mid/late 20's who were about to mate with the female, and as soon as the male told the female he was a virgin, she walked out. I don't think there is any reason for the OP to tell any female he's with that he's a virgin. Why do it? Op, whatever you do, don't tell her it's your first time. It's too risky.


If you've built a substantive emotional and physical attraction with a girl she won't walk out. Of course op can lie if he wants and there's no real harm done but there aren't 'many stories' of women walking out on men at this point.
Being a virgin isn't a big deal, it only takes a couple of goes to get a hang of things so why would a girl give up on him if he's a great guy over something as quick as a couple of nights of practise sex.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok guys I have to come to terms with something thats bothered me for a long time.

I'm a virgin, I'm 25 and I turn 26 in a couple of months. In addition I've never had a relationship either.

From my experiances, this a major red flag for the majority of women say 80-90% of them when you get to this age. Its bothered me so much that I even considered suicide on many occassions last year, but now I'm seeking councilling about it and my social life in general.

I've have always believed I am a poor set of genes and that I have simply deserved this. Social darwinism and natural selection has played its part and that I am simply not up to societies standards. I've come to conclusion that I can't have children, because I would passing on bad genes, science is certainly telling me this.

I can't get a girlfriend, and by nearly 26 I've never had one and I know by the time you get to this age you'll never get one. No girlfriend by 25, and well, you're love life is over. No women are going to want an inexperianced guy and thats understandable.

Is it this hard to accept? You damn right it is, infact its killing me inside, but after being suicidal for months about it, I realise that the only way I can imagine to stay alive is learning how to live with it and learning to accept myself.

I'm going to go through life without having a girlfriend as I'm simply too old now, I have another 50-60 years to live in this world and I've got to be able to learn to live with this fact and at the moment its ROCK HARD. I'm crying every night even now.

But science is telling that I cannot have a girlfriend or a relationship, the signs are pointing this way and I'm so depressed accepting this fact but I know I have to if there's anyway I can live on this planet for another 50-60 years successfully.

Life's just not meant to be sometimes, I didn't choose to be born in this world, I didn't choose to go through this in some ways, its natural selection playing its part and I fully accept it.

Buts its very depressing, almost like grieving knowing my life will have to be this way.

Is there any other guys who are like who feel the same way and in the same situation?


Hello there,

I am in a similar position; I am a 22 year old man. I can relate to how you feel.

You need to keep positive. You should definately see a counsellor about the depression and overall situation you are in, because its making you so unhappy.
Original post by Anonymous
Some people on the Jeremy Kyle show may look ugly. But at least they have social skills.

I have absolutely none. And can't get a girlfriend realise that internet polling has showed me that girls wont date people over the age of 25+/30+ who are virgins, at least most them, like 60% from what I've found.

So thats most of the female population. Excellent, screwed for life. Its awful feeling like this.


Besides God & yourself, how can a person scientifically prove that a man is a virgin? Pray tell.

If you think it matters, don't say. !
Original post by JD.27
You can either:
1-Find a girl who doesn't mind (if you've got the rest of the bases covered a lot of them won't mind you being a virgin, it only takes a couple goes to get used to it)
2-Find another virgin, there are loads in their early twenties, also loads who have only had one or two disappointing partners
3-Seek out some casual sex, you don't need to provide your sexual history for a one night stand
Wallowing about in self-pity is probably the worst thing you can do, it's counter productive and extremely unattractive. Good that you're getting the depression side of things sorted, just get out, be more social, and stop letting being a virgin get to you.


Can you give the OP advice on how to do number 2 and 3?

How do you seek out casual sex?
Reply 39
Original post by bloomblaze
Can you give the OP advice on how to do number 2 and 3?

How do you seek out casual sex?


2 - There are a lot of girls who are virgins until their early twenties, I couldn't give advice on how to find them exactly (perhaps church etc if op is religious?) but there tends to be lets say one in every couple of friend circles. He'd have to look out for them himself.
3 - If he says the only thing holding him back is inexperience then he could look for some casual experience to boost his confidence. One night stands. Bars and clubs. All the cliches really.
If there's a bigger problem ie attracting women as a whole then that would need to be worked out first.